More then just a Mission
by Ellojello
Summary: When Carth Onasi crash lands on Taris with the only other survivor a scout named Shira Dalis. He find that what once was a clear mission becomes more complicated. The story of Kotor seen through Carth's eyes. only rated M for some adult themes -just trying to follow the guideline :P
1. Chapter 1 The Endar Spire

Disclaimer: I do not own Knights of the Old Republic and any of its characters.

This is my first story so please be kind. Oh and Sorry about Grammar and spelling problems :S

Chapter 1 – Endar Spire

It happened so fast, too fast, everything seemed like a blur. There he was on the bridge of the Endar Spire, gazing down at Taris. When suddenly the ship was struck by a powerful blast. The crew frantically cried out the ships status reports as another blast rocked them. The Sith had already began boarding the ship before anyone had time to react. The wave of Sith seemed endless. The republic soldiers were being slaughtered like feral animals as they tried to defend themselves. Carth desperately checked the security screen for Bastila and her team. They were safe running toward the escape pods. Carth knew Bastila was a main priority but there were just too many soldiers fighting for their lives that he could not ignore. He knew she could fend for herself. After all she was a Jedi. Carth hit the com-link hoping that it would reach any surviving soldiers on, "this is Carth Onasi – the Sith are threatening to overrun our position! We can't hold out long against their firepower! All hands to the bridge!" Carth drew out his blaster ready for the next wave of Sith to hit. Sith flooded into the room, blaster fire was everywhere. Carth was a master with the blaster. He always aimed for the kill, I will not hold back! not after Telos! he thought as watched another Sith drop dead at his attacks. The bodies of Republic soldiers and Sith lay everywhere but there was no time to mourn more were coming.

Damn it he thought as more Sith arrived there are just too many of them.

He had to think quickly, but he knew that this was a fight that they could not win. "Retreat to the escape pod" he cried. His order was lost under the sound of blaster fire and vibroblade clashing. Carth grabbed the shoulder of closes soilder to him, "I said retreat solider! Now move! Get to the escape pods!" The man nodded and ran from the bridge. The other soliders moved to follow but before they had a chance to move, a blast hit the bridge killing Republic soldiers and Sith alike. The blast threw Carth back against the wall. It took a few seconds for him to regain himself. He did not wish to join the dead. He jumped up and sprinted from the bridge before another blast could hit.

Carth made it to the escape pod, only a few republic soldiers were left. He whipped blood and sweat from his face as he ordered the remaining soldiers to leave. One of them tried to question his order but he made it clear to them that he had to wait for Bastila to escape. His men followed his order and soon they were plummeting down towards the planet. Carth stood at the computer panel watching and waiting for Bastila to arrive.

There, there they were just two rooms away from him. Carth hurried and to get their escape pod ready. As the door opened, Bastila rushed in alone

"Where are the rest of the Jedi?" Carth asked

"There is a dark Jedi on board they have gone back to hold him off"

"Well then we have to go more Sith are boarding as we speak"

"No!" Bastila said in a superior tone, "I shall go alone. I want you wait here until all the escape pods are gone or until you are certain no one else is alive"

"What!" he roared in outrage, "are you kidding me that door can't hold the Sith back forever, even you were lucky to make it here"

Bastila scowled at him "I am in charge of this mission and you will do what I tell you!"

Carth reluctantly saluted her as she entered her escape pod, stuck up little Jedi he thought she acting just like a child. Carth frown, "I know she's powerful and important to the Jedi and the republic but how a child like her with no real leadership experience was put in charge of this whole mission is beyond me". As Bastila pod plummeted down to Taris, he sighed and returned to his computer panel.

Twenty minuets had past and Carth was beginning to panic he watched the monitor as the remaining Jedi were struck down by the Sith. After that, he saw no other survivors on the life support system monitor. He was ready to give up when he heard someone on the com-link, and then a small dot appeared on his screen. It was not Sith he was sure of that. Thank god someone else is alive he thought as he honed into the com-link signal on the computer panel and spoke through the communicator.

"This is Carth Onasi on your personal communicator. I'm tracking your position through the Endar Spire's life support system. Bastila's escape pod is away, you're the last surviving crew member of the Endar Spire! I can't wait for you much longer; you have to get to the escape pods! But be careful. There's a Sit patrol down the corridor. Use your stealth skill to sneak past".

Five minutes had past and he began to ready his escape pod. Suddenly he heard gunfire, Carth instinctively pulled out his blaster ready for the Sith, come and get me you bastards, if I go down your coming with me. It was a long few seconds as he waited for the doors to finally open. Time suddenly seemed to slow down in that short second as he gazed at the woman who was standing in front of him. Her hair was a chocolate brown colour, tied up in a high ponytail. She was wearing casual scout clothing (he knew since all scouts seemed to favor that style of clothing). Sweat slowly rolled down her cheek as she swung her vibroblade. She was stunning. Carth shook his head this is not the time to gawk at her. Suddenly the state of the room behind her became apparent to him. He was shock at the amount of blood splattered all over the walls and what seemed like rivers of blood slowly worming its way towards them. He looked back at the woman. It was amazing that all that blood did not even manage to stain her clothes.

Carth soon found his voice, "You made it just in time! There's only one active escape pod left. Come on, we can hide out on the planet below!"

The woman eyed him untrustingly, menacingly swinging her vibroblade faster, "who are you?" she asked

Carth watch the sword carefully, "I'm a soldier with the Republic, like you. We're the last two-crew members left on the Endar Spire. Bastila's escape pod's already gone, so there's no reason for us to stick around here and get shot by the Sith. Now come on, there'll be time for questions later"

Carth dragged his eyes away from her and ran to the escape pod. As soon as they were both in, Carth pressed the release button and the sensation of falling swept over them.

They hit the planet atmosphere; gravity began to push down on them. Carth's vision was slowly fading. He tried to keep his eyes open but the pressure was too strong, his body shut down and he was knocked out.


	2. Chapter 2 Taris day 1

Chapter 2 – Taris day 1

Carth was brutally awaken and thrown from his chair when the escape pod crash down onto the planets surface. He could hardly see a thing as smoke and debris filled the inside of the pod. Every muscle ached as he struggled to his feet, its been a long time since I have had to crash land I forgot how painful it can be he thought. The sudden reality of where he was hit him. He ran to the pod door and looked out the window, he was relieved that they had landed at night and no one was investigating the large bang that they surly made. Carth pulled the release hatch and the door went flying out on to the street. He was grateful to be able to breathe some fresh air. Just then, he heard a groan, he spun around to see the woman's body buried under some of the rubble. He grabbed her and dragged her out of the pod. Her breathing was slow and shallow and her hair was stained in blood.

"Shit! Something must have hit her head I think there's…" Carth froze at the sound of people, "Shit! The damn residents have woken up"

Carth scanned the area the closest place to them was an apartment building. Carth rushed back inside the pod. He grabbed their weapons and the small medpac. He placed them on the woman's belly, lifted her up, and began to run towards the apartment building. I have to hurry and find somewhere safe now before the Sith come looking for us. Carth looked down at the woman in his arms she looked so peaceful but the never-ending flow of blood worried him I have to save her I can't handle…the upcoming thought made his heart sink and memories slowly seeped into his mind. He shook his head no! I am going to save her.

As Carth entered the building, he turned on his stealth field generator and slowly made his way through the hallway looking for something, anything that they could hide in. They were in luck for Carth found an abandon apartment. The lock was simple enough to break and he was soon in. The apartment was quite big and it was furnished. Two beds sat at the opposite end of the room, a workbench and a few chairs separated them. Carth quickly laid the woman on one of the beds. He threw the weapons aside and ripped open the medpac, he grabbed the vile full of kolto and poured it on her head wound. The wound began to knit itself together. He sighed in relief as the bleeding slowly stopped.

Carth leaned away from the woman, looked up at the ceiling, and sighed, "Well at least she's not going to bleed to death now". He looked back down at her, a small smile touched his lips as he took in every detail of her peaceful features. He wondered why he had not notice her on the ship before or why he had not read her data file I will probably remember her when she wakes up and tells me her name. Carth stood up, placed the blanket over her, and walk toward the door making sure it was locked. Once he was certain that they wouldn't be killed in their sleep, he made his way to the other bed. As he sat down on it, he noticed the woman move onto her side and let out a quiet groan. Carth took off his shoes, laid down on the bed, and slowly went to sleep.

-()-()-

For the next few days Carth was the only one awake, the woman was still slipping in and out of conscious and to top that off she was now thrashing around in her sleep. When Carth first saw this he was alarmed, he rushed over to her and tried to wake her up but to no avail. He checked her temperature, she was fine, he then checked her wound, but it was fully healed. Carth didn't know what to do, all he felt he could do was wait for her to wake up but how long would that take he wondered. He sat by her bed for a few hours each day, the events that happened on the Endar Spire running through his mind like a never-ending cycle. Carth stomach began to growl he tried to ignore it but it had been a while since he last ate. He had been trying to keep his visits to the city to a minimum. Carth reluctantly stood up and grabbed his blaster, "I might as well go get some supplies and scout out the area it doesn't look like she will be waking up anytime soon". He looked down at the woman he did not want to leave her side. He did not want to leave her unprotected, and he felt drawn to her for a reason he couldnt explain. Carth pulled himself away and walked to the door. He slowly poked his head out and checked for any people, the hallway was clear. He left the apartment, gazing at the woman as he slowly shut the door. Once Carth made sure the door was securely locked, he left to scout the area.

-()-()-

Carth returned a few hours later to find that she was still asleep and thrashing about, he rushed to her side but just when he got to the end of her bed, he noticed her eyes flutter open. He watched her slowly get up. Relief washed over him.

"good to see you up instead of thrashing about in your sleep, you must have been having one hell of a nightmare I was wondering if you were ever going to wake up". She stared at him confused he felt that he should explain, "I'm Carth one of the republic soldiers from the Endar Spire I was with you in the escape pod do you remember?" Carth held his breath hoping that the bump to her head didn't give her memory loss.

"Carth, the one on the communicator, I remember" she said in a soft voice.

Carth let out his breath relieved then he began to explain the events that had happen and where they were. The whole time he kept his gaze on her deep dark brown eyes. This was the first time he truly notices them and he found them beautiful just like the rest of her.

The room went quiet for a while as the woman scanned the area. Carth was knocked out of his somewhat trance when she said, "I guess I owe you my life, thanks".

Carth shook his head, "you don't have to thank me I've never abandoned anyone on a mission and I'm not about to start now. Besides I'm going to need your help Taris is under Sith control their fleet is orbiting the planet they've declare marshal law and they have exposed a planet wide quarantine but I've been in worse spots".

The woman walked to the window and stared outside she glanced back at him and smiled cheekily, "I don't believe I have had a chance to introduce myself. I am Shira Dalis a newly republic scout".

The name hovered in his mind searching for where he had heard it before. His brain suddenly clicked, he remembered reading her data pad only moments before the mission began. She had been a late comer to the crew, requested by the Jedi council to have her join. A shiver ran up his spine as he thought how strange it was that she was one of the last survivors. I don't trust her, there's something about her I just can't grasp, I better keep my eye on he. Shira cocked her had and looked at him strangely, and then he realized that the silence had gone on far too long.

He cleared his throat, "well yes umm, I saw on your service records that you understand a remarkable number of alien languages. That pretty rare in a raw recruit it should come in handy while we're stranded on a foreign world".

Shira smiled "well I have been around aliens for a long time. Work with them, work for them it's all the same really when it came to smuggling spice".

Carth frowned, even more reason not to trust her, she is a criminal.

Shira laughed, "why do you think the republic wanted me, I know how to get in and out of places without being caught".

"So you're a mercenary?"

"I wish" she exclaimed with a laugh, "No I thought it would be better to join the army then to rot in jail".

"Oh so you were caught, meaning your credibility of never getting caught goes down the drain".

She crossed her arms and sighed, "No I was backstabbed by a Hutt but in the end I got him back".

"How so?"

"Oh well I made a deal with the republic they keep my criminal record off all data files and I will tell them everything they need to know about the Nar Shaddaa spice ring".

"You made a deal with the republic and they accepted it?" Carth said bewildered.

"Obviously…" she paused "ah sir don't we have a Jedi to be looking for, I remember you saying that she escaped the Endar Spire".

Carth couldn't believe it he had nearly forgotten all about Bastila, "ah right yes" Carth tried to think "Bastila is going to need our help many of Darth Malak's followers can use the dark side of the force and the Sith have already killed more then their share of Jedi in this war. No body will be looking for common soldiers like us and if we're carful we can move around the planet with out attracting notice. Unfortunately that's a luxury Bastila won't have…"

"get to the point… please".

"The point is the Sith will be looking for her and the planet is under quarantine no ships can come in or out of here, so if she's going to escape she's going to need our help".

"ok then lets go no point flapping our lips here".

Carth was surprise at how ready Shira was. However, he was glad, the sooner they find Bastila the sooner they could leave. Shira grabbed her vibroblade, sheathed it, and placed it on her belt. She walked towards the door and left Carth instinctively followed.

The two of them walked through the uppercity of Taris. Carth always keeping an eye on Shira. Watching and waiting for any sign that she might turn him over to the Sith. I am being paranoid, why would she turn me over to the Sith? She is a republic solider. Even if she had a criminal past. As he watched her, he had to admit for a criminal she was stunning, she had a slim well built body, lightly tanned skin, her hair shinned bright and the view from behind was quiet spectacular her hips moved with a very pleasant swing. His imagination began to turn on him; he began to imagine her slowly stripping off her clothes… Stop it! She is a criminal I don't know her and I don't know if she can even be trusted. I don't care how long it has been since I was with a woman I can not and will not think like that. Carth snapped back to the real world to find that they were suddenly standing outside the local Cantina, "what are we doing here?"

Shira turned to Carth with a smile, "well the way I see it is all of our stuff got blown up along with our ship, so we have little to no credit",

"What are we going to do? Play pazaak to earn money?"

"Exactly! Plus I've been to Taris before I know they have a dueling ring with a lot of credits up as prize money".

Carth flew his arms in the air, "are you kidding me we are trying to keep a low profile and last I heard fighting in the duelist ring gets a lot of attention".

Shira rolled her eyes, "calm down you old stick in the mud learn to have some fun. I am not stupid I will go under an alias".

Carth was about to speak when she turned her back on him and walk inside. The nerve of her my god it is infuriating. Carth was tempted not to follow but that feeling of being drawn to her took over and he ran in after.

Carth had watched as Shira won a deck of cards from an old retired pazaak player Garouk and was now onto Niklos. The game was close Shira had betted a large amount of credits that they did not have, Carth was hoping that her bluff would work. Niklos stayed on nineteen while Shira only need a plus two card to win. Carth turned away knowing that they were going to be in debt very soon.

"Ha twenty I win" cried Shira in glee.

Carth turned "what!"

Niklos glared at them and then handed over all his credits, "beginners luck," he said in a strange accent before he left.

Shira stood up grinning and handed the credits to Carth, "there you go Carth not enough to buy you a new blaster but I will soon change that".

Carth looked astonished, "how did you managed to win, I was sure you were going to lose".

Shira laughed, "Please Carth I made a good living conning people out of money. Pazaak is just one big con all you need is the right tools". Shira slipped out a few cards from under her sleeve and winked, "you need to have more faith in me Carth".

Carth pocketed the credits, "look I know you're having fun and all but we need to find Bastila"

Shira stopped dead in her tracks. She turned snatched Carth by the arm and dragged him to an isolated spot in the cantina, "look Carth I know you have been a solider longer then me but you should know that you just don't go saying Bastila name in a place like this. If you hadn't notice we are surrounded by strange people some of them may be Sith. Plus I am not just having fun I am earning credits so we can at least have proper weapons and amour because I doubt we are getting off this planet with out a fight".

Carth heart stopped how could I have been so careless he thought. "I'm sorry you're right I just want to find and save Bastila soon as possible I just don't like being stuck here and so close to the Sith".

Shira sighed "look Carth I don't like his place either but I am sure that Jedi girl can look after herself with her superior power and what not".

"You don't like Jedi's?"

"No, I don't trust Jedi's, they have too much power".

Carth was somewhat glad that she felt that way because he felt the same. He agreed that they had far too much power to be trusted with just look and Revan and Malak. He relayed his agreement to her and she replied, "So true Revan had too much power and so did Malak and both couldn't be trusted Malak attacked Reven while Revan was fighting Bastila. That's why I preferred the simpler life of a spice trader…" she paused "look lets get back to earning credits and finding Bastila we have wasted enough time talking.

-()-()-

Carth watched as Shira fought in the duels under the name the Mysterious Stranger. He noticed how she fought with deadly precision as well as a bloodthirsty attitude. She seemed to enjoy the power of striking her enemy down way to much. Soon she was out of opponents. She had defeated all the other duelists and they dared not verse her again. Shira wanted another fight then just as Carth tried to calm her down a Mandalorian named Bendak Starkiller challenged her to a death match. Carth couldn't stop her she said yes before he even had the chance. The Hutt in charge of the duels organized the match but said that it will start tomorrow. Carth was relieved this meant they had time to look for more clue on where Bastila might be. While Shira argued with the Hutt, Carth overheard one of the duelist talking about republic escape pods landing in the lowercity. Carth grabbed Shira and pulled her away. He told her what he heard

Releasing her frustrated breath she said, "well the Sith aren't going to let anyone down there which means we need to find one to let us through or…" she smiled wickedly "we steal their uniforms".

"How are we going to do that? We don't know any Sith and I doubt they will just give us some uniforms".

Shira sighed, "I am a con artist I will con some out of them".

"But…"

"You stay here I will work the room see if I can get any of them to like me".

"Wait..." before he could finish she was gone damn it he thought as he watched her walk away.

A few minuets later Shira returned with a huge grin on her face, "I met a guy called Yun Genda who just invited me to a party".

"Oh a party by all means lets go to a party" Carth said sarcastically, "we are not on bloody holiday!" Carth cried out.

"Let me finish" she growled, "He's a Sith solider most of their uniforms will be there because they will be going to it straight after their shift. So all we have to do is steal them".

Carth was surprised but wary, "and what are we suppose to do? Walk in there and take them".

"No we wait until they are all passed out on the floor then take them".

Carth sighed it wasn't the best plan but it was a plan so he just nodded his head as she showed him where it was on their map.

-()-()-

The party was pumping, the music was loud, and the guests were drunk. Yun Genda greeted them and started chatting up Shira. Carth couldn't help but glare at him, Shira noticed this and pulled him aside "hey Carth this is a party. It's going to take a while for these people to party out so come on have some fun there isn't much else we can do today anyway".

Carth sighed, "fine but don't get us in trouble".

She beamed at him, "trust me Carth you'll have some fun, I will go get us some drinks".

Carth watch her run off then he looked around the room, the fact that all these people were Sith made his skin crawl. Still it had been awhile since he had been to a party. He didn't make friends not after Revan and Malak betrayal turning many good republic soldiers into mindless Sith.

Shira suddenly thruster a glass in his hand, "go on have a drink" she said cheerily. Carth glanced down at the drink then back up at Shira he was hesitant. Shira's smile disappeared, "come on Carth have fun pretend you're not on duty" with that she sculled down her drink. Shira slightly stumbled backwards, "wow I forgot how strong that stuff is". Carth laughed at her and she just glared at him, "come on flyboy have a drink". Carth rolled his eyes and then gulped down the drink, Shira watched him with glee.

Carth gasped the drink was so strong and it tasted rotten, "what the hell is that?"

"tarisian ale I'll go get some more".

"No wait I'm…" she was gone again at this rate she will be as drunk as the rest of them. Carth walked over to a seat and waited for Shira to find him. Carth watched the people dance and talk he had no desire to join them. Twenty minutes past before Shira found him again. She stumbled towards him her cheeks were a rosy red and there was a huge grin on her face. Shira slumped down next to Carth she began to giggle. Carth started at her "what?" he asked.

Shira waved her hand dismissively, "no, no it nothing".

"You know you're drunk".

"You know your not so bad looking" she chuckled.

Carth laughed at the complement, "yep your drunk…" he paused and smiled even now she still possessed that same beautiful calm peaceful look, the rosy cheeks only highlighting her face. "Have you found anything out?"

"Nope, but some of those Sith guys want to screw me and a lot of the girls are checking you out".

Carth felt his skin crawled uncomfortably again. He then noticed that Shira was looking longing at the people dancing. Carth sighed I know I shouldn't ask this but… he turned to her "would you like to dance?"

"Oh my god really umm…" she grabbed Carths arm, "okay lets dance".

Carth was thrown onto the dance floor, he didn't know how to dance to these fast beat songs, but he assured himself everyone was to drunk to notice. Suddenly the music became slow, shit! Carth thought then he looked down at Shira smiling at him. Carth took her hand in his, placed his other hand on her hip, and then led the way into a slow dance. Carth didn't know what to do or what to say. Then Shira leaned into him placing her head on his chest. Carth blushed and gazed down at her I know I shouldn't be enjoying this but…his thoughts faded away as he could only concentrate on the feel of her body against his. His hand slid to the small of her back. Her body seem to fit against his so perfectly. It took most of his control to stop his mind from wondering.

-()-()-

Two hours later Carth was the only man standing all other partygoers had passed out including Shira. Carth walked over to two of the Sith equipment bags, he looked inside they both had Sith uniforms in them. Carth took the bags and flung them over his shoulder. He walked over to Shira, picked her up, and carried her back to their apartment. As Carth walked his eyes wondered down at her, she was so light and carrying her in his arms felt natural. He had forgotten what it was like to have someone in his arms. Carth's mind wondered back to the slow dance, he enjoyed it far too much then he thought he would have. Dancing with her made him feel calm and peaceful but then he was reminded of his wife. Guilt flooded through him about enjoying the dance with Shira. Once Carth made it back to the apartment he felt Shira stir in his arms, "is the party over?" she asked.

"Yes and we're home now".

Shira looked at the door and motioned Carth to put her down. As they walked in Shira looked up at him, "Carth?"

"Yes what on your mind?

"I like to know more about you, Carth".

"Me?" He was surprised but he didn't see the harm in telling her. "well I've been a star-pilot for the Republic for years. I've seen more than my share of wars… I fought in the Mandalorian Wars before all this started" He paused as anger filled him, "but with all that. I've never experience anything like the slaughter these Sith animals can unleash. Not even the Mandalorians were that senseless. My home world was one of the first planets to fall to Malak's fleet. The Sith bombed it into submission, and there wasn't a damn thing our Republic forces could do to stop them!" Guilt filled every pore of his body he now regretted talking.

"you're talking like it's your fault. Like you failed somehow"

Carth bowed his head it is my fault said a whisper in his mind. He shook his head as his raged flared up, "it shouldn't be my fault. I did everything I could… I followed my orders and did my duty. That shouldn't mean I failed them! I didn't"

Shira looked confused "Them? Do you mean the people of your home world?"

Carth tried to think of something else to say, he didn't want to tell her he didn't want to remember "ye… no I … it's not what I mean I'm sorry I'm not making much sense am I?" Carth tried to change the subject, "you probably mean well with your questions I'm just not accustomed to talking about my past very much… at all actually". The solider in him perked up, "I'm more used to taking action, keeping my mind focus on the business at hand…" which has been hard ever since I met you. "…ah if you have more questions ask me another time right now you're drunk and have a fight to win tomorrow".

Shira swayed little she fell onto Carth chest, she looked up and him and giggled, "you're right I am drunk I should probably go to bed before I do something stupid" she leaned closer to him, he could feel her breath on his lips his body tingled and he froze. Shira smiled and gazed at his lips, "why don't we bunk together tonight" her eyes shifted to his "and have some after party fun".

Carth leaned away from her I am not going to take advantage of a drunk woman one voice said to him. Oh, come on she won't remember plus it has been so long said another voice. "no…" he was surprised he spoke, "you should really go to bed now you don't want to get killed by Bendak Starkiller all because you did …." He searched for the right word "exercise instead of resting". Exercise come on that was the wrong word to use.

Shira giggle "true I guess you right but…" she leaned in and whispered in his ear, "it's a shame though I would have rocked your world". She giggled again and went to bed. Carth gulped stop thinking about it stop picturing her like that, she's not thinking straight she's drunk he kept repeating to himself. He waited for Shira to fall asleep until he did a final check of the door lock and then headed to bed himself.


	3. Chapter 3 Taris day 2

Chapter 3 – Taris day 2 

The fight lasted only a few minuets even though to Carth it seemed like hours. He watched how Shira dodged every attack, running circles around Bendak Starkiller. Her attacks were vicious and endless her vibroblade continually making a shape 'twing' noise with each strike until eventually you could his armor crack. Carth knew it was over in that second as soon as she saw that crack in his armor she lunged impaling Bendak with her vibroblade. She let go of the sword as he fell to the floor with a sickening thud. Shira walked over to him, ripped the vibroblade out of his chest, and basked in the glow of victory. Blood dripped off her sword while the crowd cheered for her, a pool of blood formed around the cold lifeless body. Carth notice something in her eyes, something dark. She seemed to enjoy that kill far too much and something about her fighting style, it was way too advanced for a smuggler. The more and more he watched her, the less he trusted her.

"good work on your win" Carth said as Shira reentered into the Cantina.

"thank you" she said with a smile.

Carth noticed the dark look in her eye had completely vanished, "will that be your last duel?" he asked hopefully.

"yes I think I earned enough credits in that one to be able to buy new weapons and armor for the both of us"

"good then let collect your credits and get going we need to start searching immediately".

-()-()-

After they got their credits and bought some new supplies they were off to the lowercity in their Sith uniforms. The Sith at the entrance of the elevator didn't give them a second glance as they walked through. As soon as the elevator doors closed, the two of them stripped off into their normal clothes. The lowercity was such a different place compared to the uppercity. Carth stared around in amazement "this really shows how the rich treat the poor" he remarked. The lowercity was old and decaying and the place smelt like a rubbish dump. Just as the two of them made their way down to the Cantina, they were attacked. At this moment, Carth pulled out his two new pistols as Shira swung her new double bladed sword. Carth began to fire as Shira ran into the group and hacked away. If Shira's attacks didn't kill them then Carth shots sure as hell did. The group didn't even give get a chance to strike, Carth and Shira were just too fast. They were perfectly in sync with each others movements. Carth had never had this kind of fight style before, it made him feel powerful and for some reason more connected to Shira. Once the group was disposed, Shira raised a slender eyebrow at Carth and grinned "Carth Onais I didn't know you could fight"

Carth laughed, "I'm not just in the republic because of my looks you know"

"oh really? I just though you were just some flyboy who sat in the pilot seat and did nothing all day"

Carth smiled, "well we made a pretty good team"

"you should of joined me in the dueling ring"

"and take all your fame"

Shira laughed, it was a rather enchanting laugh if Carth did say so himself.

"come on Shira lets go find Bastila"

In less then three hours Carth and Shira had ran into a bounty hunter who threatened to kill them. Carth had to pull Shira away before she accepted another fight, they then met a twi'lek girl name Misson and a Wookie named Zaalbar. The two of them told them about the swoop gang war against the Hidden Bek's and the Vulkar's. Carth asked about the republic escape pods, Mission told them they should ask Gadon Thek the leader of the Hidden Bek's. When they did, they were told that Basitla was the prize that the Valkar's would give to the winner in the upcoming swoop race. Shira happily agreed to run in the race after they stole back the prototype accelerator from the Valkar's. Carth tried to protest but Shira would hear none of it she stated, "it's the only way we will be about to rescue Bastila". Carth reluctantly agreed with her and they were off to find Mission who was the only one who knew how to get into the Valksr's base. Unfortunately, when they found her in the undercity, her friend Zaalbar had been captured and they had to run all over the sewers just to find him. Finally, after several fights they managed to get back the prototype accelerator and returned to the Hidden Bek's.

-()-()-

Carth crashed on the bed that Gadon had provided him. He was so exhausted from all the fights that he and Shira got themselves in. Carth couldn't stop thinking how well they worked together, it was as if they were just meant to be battle partner. Carth thought about how her hair would fly through the air as she turned to strike down her enemy. There was just something about her he had not met a woman like her before. So kind and caring and yet so bloodthirsty and cruel, it was a dizzying mixture. Carth felt like sometime she was fighting a battle within herself between those two sides. This thought unsettled him. She had saved his life so many times in this one day that he felt like she deserved some trust it was just hard for him give. However, he still kept his eye on her waiting for her to turn on him. Carth slowly started to drift away when he heard a knock on his door, "come in".

The door slide open and Shira entered holding a plate of food, "hey Carth I didn't catch you at a bad time did I?"

Carth sat up and smiled, "no not at all what do you need?"

"I just wanted to see if you were okay. I noticed once we came back you just barricade yourself in this room and didn't even grab any dinner". Shira smiled and gave Carth the plate of food.

Carth eyed the plate suspiciously then took it, "thank you". He stared at the food not knowing whether he should eat it.

"The foods good don't worry I tried some it wont kill you" Shira said with a laugh.

Carth was silent, he notice Shira shift uncomfortably.

"I want to discuss something with you" she said in a cheerful voice.

Carth was surprised, "you do? Well fare enough what do you want to discuss?"

Shira smiled and said playfully, "we didn't finish our conversation last time".

Carth placed the plate of food on the side table and sighed, he did not want to talk about this right now, "I knew you wouldn't understand where I was coming from let me try and explain. You're probably one of the most skilled woman I have ever met you've saved my butt more than once and I'm lucky to have you here to help me no question, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to stop watching you and being wary. I'm just not built that way. Period".

Shira smile disappeared, "And what, exactly, are you watching me for?"

Carth regretted even opening his mouth he had said too much already he wanted to change the subject and fast, "I don't know that yet. Like I said before it's probably nothing but I've been betrayed by people before and I …well, I won't happen again, that's all." Again the words just slipped out his mouth. He hoped that she would not question him anymore about this but he knew she would. She was the type to not give up when she wanted to know something. He admired and hated her for that.

Shira glared at him, "so you want some guarantee that I won't betray you?"

"I don't know that you will betray me. But there are no guarantees… not for you, not for me." Carth could see the rage boiling up inside her "You don't have to take it so personally" thinking that saying that would calm her down. He was wrong.

"Don't tell me not to take it personally, you hairless Wookiee!"

Carth was taken aback he had not been to spoken like this in a while. It was like he was talking to a child, "Hairless Wookiee? Alright, sister, just… just…" he tried to think of some sort of insult, "just calm down before your head explodes." That was it? That was your great insult? God when was the last time you were in a fight?

Shira clenched her fists tightly and she turned away from Carth, "Don't tell me to calm down, you ignorant bantha!"

Carth couldn't help but laugh, "Is that your idea of an insult? Come on, sister, take your best shot". Why the hell am I finding this so much fun?

"Gamorrean pig-man!" she grunted.

Carth grinned and laughed, "Oh ouch, I think you hurt my man feelings with that one".

Shira glanced at him, "well, you had it coming".

Carth shrugged, "well I guess I did. Feel better now?"

Shira loosened the tension in her fists and turned back. She smiled slightly, "not really. This is still serious".

Carth sighed, "Look… all I mean is that if you're smart, you won't trust anyone… not me, not Bastila and especially not yourself"

Shira mood changed suddenly back to playful, "Ahh…so you don't trust yourself, is that it?"

Carth looked away trying to hide his anger, "I don't need to be analyzed, thanks. Can we just get back to business?"

Shira walked over to Carth and sat down next to him, "you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

I thought I made that clear, what will it take to get you to leave me alone? he thought angrily. Carth moved away from her, "no I don't want to talk about it. But I want us to save the galaxy, if that's even possible." Carth couldn't understand why they were having this conversation, "why is it whether or not I trust you or anyone so damn important to you, why… why do you even care?" he wanted this conversation to end now, "we don't have time for this, so can we please just… just drop it… for now? Can we pick it up later if you really must? I want to get underway".

Shira stood up, "sorry Carth… I guess I just wanted to be friends… sorry about my little mood swing as well". Shira rubbed the back of her head nervously, "I guess I will head off to bed, got a race to win tomorrow. Got to save Bastila… right?... well goodnight". Shira left the room leaving Carth alone once more.


	4. Chapter 4 Taris day 3

Chapter 4– Taris day 3 

Carth jumped out of his bed blasters ready as he heard loud banging on his door, "who is it?"

"It's Mission hurry up and open the door"

Carth sighed and threw his blaster on the bed as he got up and opened the door, "what is it Mission I was trying to sleep"

Mission placed her hands on her hips and groaned angrily, "well sleepy head if it wasn't for me waking you up you would have missed Shira Swoop Race. It's about to begin so hurry up"

Carth quickly turned around and grabbed his blasters before following Mission down the hall way. As they walked Carth noticed that the base was almost deserted, "Mission where is everyone?"

"oh well a select few have gone to protect Shira and the swoop bike and the others are already in the race room watching the race of the large holoscreen"

"why would Shira need protection at the races?" Carth frowned as Mission began to laugh, he was suddenly feeling very stupid for asking.

"come on Carth Shira is up against the Hidden Bek's rivals of course she is going to need protection just in case they try and kill her if she starts winning or if someone messes with her bike"

"when did she leave for the race?"

"maybe five minutes before I woke you up"

Carth was silent he was shocked and oddly disappointed that she didn't come and wake him up to say good bye before the race, You have only known her for two days and you made it clear that you didn't trust her why the hell would she say good bye to you he thought.

"I don't know what you did Carth but she was in such a foul mood this morning" Mission said somberly.

"why do you think I did anything?"

Mission stopped and turned to face him, before now she was a few paces in front of him, "Carth I saw her walk out of your room last night she seemed quiet upset I tried to talk to her but she brushed me aside and stormed off into her room"

Guilt began to sink into Carth, why do I feel guilty I told her exactly how I felt it's not my fault she took it the wrong way. "Mission we just talked about…"

Mission raised her hand to stop him, "Carth I am old enough to know when something is private so I don't want to know what you two talked about but as her friend I ask you not to piss her off again"

"you two are friends already?" Carth asked suspiciously.

"of course we are she trust me" Mission announced proudly.

See this is exactly what I warned her not to do I warned her not to trust so easily. Carth sighed as Mission was staring him down but before he could talk cheers echoed through the hallway. Mission cursed under breath, grabbed Carth, and dragged him off to the Race room.

Carth watch in hidden excitement as Shira won race after race and now tension was building as Shira walked up for her finally race all she had to do was beat the final heat time of 23.02. Carth watched as she went from turbo boost to turbo boost trying to pick up enough speed to beat the time. It was close and at one point, it did not seem like she could do it but just as the clock hit 22.99 she hit the accelerator and rocketed over the line. Everyone in the room held their breaths including Carth as they waited for the time to be shown, 23.00 flashed the screen and the room erupted into cheers of joy. However the celebration was cut short when the Brejik the leader of the Black Vulkars attacked Shira. Carth snatched Mission arm and ran out of the room towards the swoop race ground with Zaalbar following close behind. As the three of them neared the race ground Carth com-link received a call. "Carth here"

"Carth its Shira I have Bastila. Meet us back at our base up in the uppercity"

"What about Mission and Zaalbar?"

"them to Carth"

"Are you sure?"

"yes now go"

Carth signal was suddenly cut off he turned to Mission and Zaalbar and told them the new plan the two agreed and followed him back to the uppercity.

-()-()-

Carth, Mission and Zaalbar all arrived before Shira and Bastila. Carth was worried that the Sith had seen Bastila and captured them but soon his worried was gone as they walked into the room. Carth had never been so happy to see Shira he would have hugged her if his self-disciple allowed him. Then he saw Bastila and relief washed over him "Bastila – You're alive finally, things are looking up. Now we just need to figure out a way to get off this planet"

Bastila glanced at Carth with an annoyed look on her face, "You mean you don't have a plan to get off Taris yet? What have you been doing all this time?"

Shira sluggishly walk to a chair and collapsed on it, "I'm getting a little sick of your attitude, Bastila!"

Bastila snapped her focus towards Shira and glared at her, "My attitude? It strikes me that you're the one in sore need of an attitude adjustment. I happen to be in charge of this mission. If you'll recall."

Carth sighed here is that Jedi importance we soldiers have all come to know and love. God she is acting like a child she need to hurry up and learn that she isn't going to get anything done with her attitude. "I know you're new at this, Bastila, but a leader doesn't berate her troops just because things aren't going as planned. Don't let your ego get in the way of the real issues here." Carth knew he was right but the way Bastila glared at him he knew she was about to go on another ego trip.

"That hardly strikes me as an appropriate way of addressing your commander, Carth. I am a member of the Jedi Order and this is my mission. Don't forget that."

Carth crossed his arms god, you might be a member of the Jedi Order but you act like a child he though.

Bastila continued, "My Battle Meditation ability has helped the Republic many times in this war, and it will serve us well here I am sure."

Carth rolled his eyes why was he always stuck with rookie leaders, "Your talent might win us a few battles, but that doesn't make you a good leader! A good leader would at least listen to the advice of those who have seen more combat than she ever will."

Carth notice Shira lift her arms up in the air in frustration as she stood, "Both of you settle down this isn't helping"

Bastila sighed, "yes… You're right, of course. I apologize, Carth. This has been a difficult time for me. Of course, I'm happy to listen to your advice. What do you suggest we do?"

Carth let a small smile escape his lips, "First off we cant get hung up on who's in charge; we all need to work together if we want to get off this rock. The answer's out there, we just have to find it."

Bastila nodded in agreement, "well said, Carth. And the sooner we start looking the better; I've already been a prisoners of the Vulkars and I don't plan on being captured by the Sith."

Shira grinned cheekily, "Don't worry, I wont let that happen! So what now?"

Bastila was silent for a moment, "I think we'll need some help getting off Taris. Maybe if we ask around one of the locals can help us out. We should probably start by asking around in the cantinas"

Carth was relived that they had sorted out a plan but then he notice Bastila and Shira talking to each other quietly and warning bells lit up in his head, Calm down Carth don't need to panic they wont betray you yet so just watch them for now. Once Bastila and Shira were finish talking Carth motioned for Shira to talk to him. Once Shira was in front of him he whisper, "why are Mission and Zaalbra here they are not republic soldiers"

Shira raised her slender eyebrow, "they are here because they have helped us and I trust them"

Carth glanced over at Mission and Zaalbar and then back at Shira, "are you kidding me I told you not to trust anyone"

Shira glared at Carth, "your right you did but I do recall you also saying not to trust you"

Carth went to argue back but he could not think of anything to say

"look Carth unlike you I have no trouble trusting people" with that Shira turned and walked away from him.

Soon Shira got a message from a man named Canderous asking them to meet him in the local cantina. Carth didn't like the look of him when they met but he reluctantly agreed that his plan and help was the only option they had to escape the planet. The plan sounded simple break into the Sith Base to get the codes to clear the blockade and he'll provide the transportation, with his bosses Davik's ship the Ebon Hawk. After fighting Sith after Sith they finally got the codes and was again in front of Canderous as he congratulated them on a job well done and let them know part two of his plan. Now the stage was set Carth, Shira and Canderous would head into Davik Kang base and steal the Ebon Hawk before the Sith figured out what had happen. Now all they would have to do was wait in the cantina until Canderous came back to collect them.

Carth sat alone in the noisy cantina while Shira went and played pazaak and Bastila returned to their base in the uppercity. Carth noticed a few girls staring and giggling at him, he wasn't sure whether to be flattered or insulted but before he could make up his mind Shira jumped into the seat next to him, "back already what did you lose?"

Shira laughed, "nope there just no one here to play with they are all scared of losing credits to me"

"well you are good"

Shira gasped mockingly, "Carth is that a complement from you"

Carth smile, "laugh it up"

"I will" she giggled, "oh I felt a little guilty for leaving you here alone but from what I can see you were getting a lot of attention from those girls" Shira pointed to the giggling girls Carth was looking at. "I think they like you why don't you go over there and talk to them"

"I am on duty!" Like I always am.

"well... okay then lets talk about our last conversation"

Carth rolled his eyes it didn't seem like she was ever going to leave him and his past alone "oh you want to argue some more is that it?"

"No I don't want to argue with you"

Carth was glad to hear that, "And I don't want to argue with you either you seem sincere enough I guess. I just don't trust easily and for good reasons which are my own"

Shira smile disappeared, "but we have to work together, Carth, so it has plenty to do with me"

She is never going to give me peace until I tell her what she wants to know, damn it why the hell does she want to know or care? "oh damn it I suppose I wont get any rest until I talk will I? you wanna know why I don't trust anyone? Fine here goes. Five years ago the Jedi had just finished the war with the Mandalorans. Revan and Malak were hero's I was damned proud to serve in their fleet. It was completely unexpected when they turned on us invading the republic while we were still weak no body knew what to think least of all me. Our hero's had become brutal, conquering Sith…. and we were all helpless before them. Think about it…. if you can even trust the best of the Jedi, who can you trust?"

"I suppose you cant. That must be hard to take?"

Carth sighed, "no it wasn't even that… there were others… good solid men, trusted men who turned on us as well and joined their cause. Malak, Revan and the Sith deserve to die for what they done but the ones who fled the republic and joined them are even worse." Rage filled Carth and he threw his hands in the air angrily, his voice now raised so he was shouting, "The darkside has nothing to do with why they joined with the Sith they deserve no mercy."

Shira looked scared and shocked from Carth outburst, "I haven't joined the Sith, Carth"

Carth gazed at her as his anger was replaced with guilt, he placed his hand on her knee trying to comfort her in some way, "I know I know and I should apologize to you I've…. I've become so accustom to expecting the worse in other and you've done nothing to deserve that". He removed his hand and lent back in his chair, "it's just… no, no, no… lets just continue with what we were doing. I rather not talk about it". Carth looked away in shame and he was relived to find that Canderous had returned before Shira was able to question him more.

-()-()-

The Sith had begun bombing the planet, Carth rushed to the controls of the Ebon Hawk and he was soon able to get the old girl up and running before the building they were in collapsed. After collecting the others from their home base, they left the planets atmosphere. Carth prayed that the codes would get them past the Sith orbital defense guns alive but luck was not on their side, even though they made it past the orbital defense guns they were now being chased but Sith fighters. As Carth plotted a course for Dantooine he heard Bastila order Shira to the gun turret, Carth hoped that she would be able to hold them off long enough for him to jump in hyperspace.

Five minuets past and the ships shields were beginning to die on them but finally the hyperdrive had kicked in and they were out of Tairs space.


	5. Chapter 5 Trip to Dantooine

Chapter 5 – Trip to Dantooine

They were safe and Carth could finally relax, now that they were off Taris and Bastila was safe his mission was complete. Carth turned on auto-pilot it would take them at least a few hours until they would arrive at Dantooine. He made his way into the main hold where everyone had gathered. Everyone was in a dim mood and after a few words from Bastila they all separated and went into their own areas. Carth noticed that Shira was looking rather pale but before he was able to talk to her she went to off comfort Mission.

Carth waited in the main hold for Shira to return, he was forced to wait in there because Bastila was in cockpit and the last thing he wanted was for her to give him a typical Jedi lecture. Since the first moment he met Bastila all he could remember was one Jedi lecture after another. Bastila seem to think just because she was a Jedi she had all the right to lecture others. Carth stirred out of his thoughts when he heard footsteps coming towards him. He glanced up from the table to see Shira slowly walk into the medical bay. Carth immediately stood up and rushed over to her, he knew something was wrong he just knew it. As he entered the room he noticed Shira taking off her shirt, he turned around quickly so he did not seem like he was watching, "are you alright?" he asked in a nervous tone.

Shira glanced around at him yanking her shirt back down, "yes nothing a little kolto won't fix"

"Where are you hurt?" he said stupidly of course you know where she is hurt you caught her taking her shirt off he thought to himself irritably.

"just on the right side of my stomach and on my back but again nothing kolto cant fix" she said cheerily

"do you need any help?" he asked trying to seem gentlemanly

Shira was silent for a moment but then said in an embarrass voice, "well I… I hate to be a bother but… I can't seem to reach the wound on my back I could use a little help"

"it's no trouble at all but is it safe for me to turn around" he said half smiling

Shira chuckled, "yes it's safe"

Carth turned around to his relief and strangely, to his disappointment her shirt was still on. Carth made his way over to the medpac and took out a vile of kolto, "ok now show me where the wound is". Shira lifted the back of her shirt up there was a large knife wound. It was fresh and still bleeding quiet badly. Carth poured the kolto onto the wound making sure he covered all of it. Carth handed Shira the other vile of kolto so she could heal the wound on her stomach. As Carth watch the wounds heal the knot of panic inside his chest relaxed and he asked, "How did you get these wounds?"

"I don't want to say" Shira said abruptly

"oh come on this is the second time I have had to fix you up so the least you can do is tell me why your hurt again" he said cheekily

Shira sighed, "it's embarrassing that's why I wont tell you"

Carth chuckled, "now you're acting like a child, like Bastila"

Shira turned and glared at Carth, "I am nothing like Bastila"

"then prove me wrong put away the pride and tell me how you got hurt"

Shira sighed and she looked away from Carth "you know when we had to fight Davik Kang and Calo Nord so we could get the Ebon Hawk.

Carth nodded

"Well… while we were fighting them Calo ran at you from behind he was about to strike you down with his sword but I was able to stop him and block the attack. Then the bastard pull out a knife and sliced me across the stomach and stab me in the back"

Carth was silent she saved your life. If it wasn't for her he would have attacked you, you would probably be dead he thought. Carth raised her chin gently so she was looking up into his eyes, "thank you, if it wasn't for you I might be dead but why was that so embarrassing?"

"because I got hurt"

"You're a solider and soldiers get hurt all the time no bodys the perfect fighter not even the Jedi. You saved me and I owe you"

Shira smiled, "I was just repaying you for saving me when we crashed on Taris"

Carth smiled, "I suppose it does but can I ask you one thing?"

"Sure"

"why didn't you tell me before? That you were hurt"

"I didn't want to worry everyone"

"Well then next time just tell me"

Shira smiled sweetly and they both gazed into each other's eyes slowly they both leaned closer into each other, their noses almost touching. Carth suddenly became aware of how close they were, he reluctantly dragged his gaze off her eyes, and cleared his throat "well yes now that you are healed would you like a drink or something I am sure I can find something on this ship"

Shira smiled up at him, "thank you, but I better go to bed it has been a long day" Shira stood up off the examining table and walk towards the door but before she left she turned and asked, "Carth can I ask you something?"

Carth grinned at her, "I'm all ears beautiful", immediately his grin faded away as utter shock and embarrassment consumed him. What the hell is wrong with me he thought, why did I just say that? Oh god I hope she did not hear that.

Shira giggled and smiled sweetly at him, "I like the sound of that"

Carth was surprised at her reaction his grin reappeared on his face, "Which? The fact that I'm all ears or the beautiful part?"

"Carth, are you flirting with me?" she giggled

Carth gazed into her eyes again, yes he thought as he smiled, "not really, just a habit. You have something you'd rather I call you by?"

"How about 'gorgeous'? I like that better".

"I might consider it but what are you going to call me, in exchange?"

Shira was silent for a moment "how about 'sexist worm'"

Carth laughed, "Is that it? You can do better than that!"

Shira smile vanished as Carth laughed and she glared at him, "Brainless, lice-ridden bantha!"

Carth laugh turned into a silent chuckle, "ouch. Heh heh heh. That 'is' better. Well I bet 'beautiful' doesn't sound so bad in comparison now, does it?"

Shira placed her hand on her hips, "Ha ha! You are such pain, you know that?"

"Guilty as charged…." Carth smiled and then sighed, "kidding aside I'll bet you still have those questions in mind, though. Are they really necessary?"

Shira sweet smile returned, "I just would like to know you better"

I thought she was done with all these questions on Taris, "oh. Well, if it's an interrogation you wanted, why didn't you say so?"

Shira furrowed her brow and frowned, "this isn't an interrogation. I never said that."

Wow aren't you the serious one today. "No, I was just joking, though you do seem to be full of questions. It's rather refreshing to be honest" he chuckled. He watched as Shira smile returned, "let me ask you something first, though. I've been going through the battle aboard the Endar Spire over and over in my head since we crashed. Some things just don't add up for me. Maybe you could tell me what happened… from your perspective"

Shira looked away from Carth and was silent clearly thinking about it, "I wans't in a position to know what was going on, really."

"Neither was I, to tell the truth. I was onboard as an advisor for the most part. The battle began so fast. It's anyone's guess as to what actually happened." His tone became very somber, "we lost the ship and a lot of good people… and for what? On the hope that Jedi powers would save us, somehow. Not that Bastila had much of an opportunity to act. We didn't choose that battle, anyway. It got forced on us. Hell, I'm just surprised that any of us are alive to talk about it" Carth cocked his head to the side slightly and stared at Shira, "come to thin of it, it's more than a little surprising that you happen to be here, isn't it? Just what is your position with the Republic fleet, anyway?"

Shira rolled her eyes, "I told you before but if I must repeat myself. I'm a scout. I was 'recruited' into the fleet for my skills, if you must know"

His head returned to its normal position but his stare did not waver, "well, that makes sense. Still… it seems a bit strange that someone who was a last-minute addition to the crew roster is one of the survivors"

"what's so odd about me being added to the crew at the last minute?"

"you were the only one. Not to mention that Bastila's party was the one who requested your transfer"

Shira eyes widen in surprise this reaction made it clear that at least she was unaware of that fact. "why would Bastila request my transfer?" she asked.

"the Jedi requested numerous things when they came on board… hell they practically took over the ship, as far as I could tell. Considering your connection to Bastila and the Jedi… whether you know it or not… your presence here seems a little convenient. I'm probably wrong and this is probably nothing, I know, I learned a long time ago not ot take things at face value, however. And I 'hate' surprises"

"what do you mean by surprises?"

"I mean I have to expect the unexpected. Just to be safe."

Shira looked hurt by this, "Are you always this suspicious?"

Carth could feel his stare soften as he saw the hurt in her eyes, "look… it has nothing to do with you, personally. I don't trust anyone, and I have my reasons"

"as you have previously told me" Carth heard Shira say under her breath

He quickened the pace of the conversation now he wanted it to be over, "and no, I'm not going to discuss them. So can we just keep our minds on more important things?"

"I consider this important" she said in an almost whisper.

Carth sighed, "alright, alright. You must be the most damned persistent woman I've ever met. We'll talk about it… but later. Right now I just want to get going". Carth pulled his stare away from her and faked yawned, "you know its late we best be heading to bed anyway"

Shira smiled sweetly, "yes you're right I will let you be then but we will talk later"

"lucky me then" Carth said trying to be playful.

"yes well" Shira turned around and waved her hand "night"

Shira walk out of the door to the female dormitory. Carth leaned against the wall and stared at where she was just standing, why was I flirting with her and more to the point was she really flirting back. I thought that… the last time she was like this she was drunk but now I know she's not so… but I messed that up I had to ask her about the attack on the Endar Spire and I had to be so serious. Now I have hurt her feeling again. Damn it I am no good at this. I better go and apologies… no I must keep my distance remember I don't trust anyone it's safer that way. But her feelings are hurt god what is going on with me… Carth shook his head, "I am reading too much into this. It's all in my head but still… I haven't acted like that in years not since… argh I need to stop thinking like this I need to keep my distance from her because I…" Carth voice trailed off. It's all in my head


	6. Chapter 6 Dantooine

A/N: thanks to those who are reading this, I am sorry for typos, spelling and grammar mistakes I do proof read but I always miss some thing lol what can I say I'm not perfect lol

Chapter 6 – Dantooine

There it was Dantooine, Carth sighed in relief finally, they were about to land on a planet that welcomed them. Carth had his doubt when they were first arriving, how could we be safe what if the Sith send a fleet in to destroy Dantooine like they did to Taris he thought, but after talking to Bastila and Shira he eventually warmed to the idea. As the Ebon Hawk made its descent into Dantooine Shira rejoined Carth and Bastila in the cockpit. Carth was happy to see that Shira was looking better and he watched as her as her eyes widen in awe at the sight of the endless plains on Dantooine. As soon as the ship landed, Bastila motioned for them to follow. Carth hesitated he was not eager to leave the ship, "ah I think I will stay with the ship look after the others"

Bastila stared at him irritably, "nonsense Carth they will be fine the ship is safe and I am still the in charge of this mission so you must follow my orders"

Carth tapped his fingers on his seat hand rest glaring at Bastila, there she goes again he thought her and her childish attitude, I swear we had already had a conversation about this and besides she is no longer in charge we have completed our mission in keeping her safe.

"Bastila" Shira sighed, "we are off Taris you are safe me and Carth's mission is complete you are no longer in command". She looked over at Carth and smiled.

Carth gazed up at Shira in surprise did she just read my mind. He cleared his throat, "ah… yes Shira right you are safe back with the rest of the Jedi so now we can return to the republic fleets"

The look on Bastila face was like a child was about to have a tantrum. She glared at both of them, "True your mission is over, but I am still a Jedi I still out rank both of you so you still must do as I ask"

Carth smiled, fine if you want to act childish I am game. "Bastila, I was wondering something. How did those Vulkars manage to capture a famous Jedi like you? Were you knocked out when your escaped pod crashed?"

Carth could see that Bastila was trying to hide her blush of embarrassment as she put on a superior calm voice, "no, I was conscious. But my Force powers were exhausted from using my Battle Medication in the battle for the Endar Spire. Without my help you might never have gotten off that ship alive".

Carth smiled and kept playing along. "Fair enough. But I've seen you Jedi in action. There's no way those thugs would have stood a chance against you lightsaber"

Bastila tried to keep her voice calm, "my lightsaber was… misplaced. I couldn't find it after the crash. I looked 'everywhere' in that pod. The Vulkars came and overwhelmed me even as I searched for my weapon."

Carth began to laugh and put on a patronizing tone, "wait a minute, let me get this straight. You 'lost' your lightsaber?" he laughed, "I mean, isn't that a violation of some Jedi code or something?"

Shira laughed along with Carth, "of all the Jedi in the galaxy, why do we get the one who's absent-minded?"

Bastila glared at them both to Carth she looked like she was about to burst, "this is no laughing matter! During the crash my lightsaber must have… if must have fallen from my belt and rolled under my seal! The Vulkers probably found it there when they search the wreckage"

Carth smirked, "hey, hey, hey, don't get mad I'm sorry. It's just funny to think of a legendary Jedi losing her lightsaber. Take my advice; this is one detail you might want to keep out of the history texts".

Bastila superior tone returned with confidence, "I hardly consider myself a legend, Carth. Though I will consider you advice when I relate these events to the Jedi Council. There is no need for them to know 'every' detail of what transpired".

Carth smiled faded, just like a child now she is going to leave out the mistake she made when she tells this story to the Council.

Bastila once again motioned for them to follower her Shira and Carth both groaned, "Come you two" Bastila commanded, "We must go now, or do I have to treat you two like children and drag you out"

Carth groan angrily, us! Treat us like children! You have to be kidding me when she… you know what enough of this pointless argument, "fine Bastila we will do what you want for now"

Bastila smiled proudly as Carth got out of his chair and followed her off the ship.

As soon as they were off the ship Bastila turned to Shira, "I have spoken briefly with the Council they request an audience with you. We should go at once"

Carth was taken a back by this, it seemed to strange as if it was planned, "An audience with the Jedi Council? That's pretty unusual for someone who isn't even a Jedi. What's this about Bastila?

Bastila turned her head slightly towards Carth, "I'm sorry Carth, but I cannot tell you. All I ask is that you trust in the Force and the wisdom of the Council."

Trust in the Force? In the Council? This doesn't seem right something missing here and I know Bastila won't tell me… so… there is no point asking or causing trouble, "well I don't like being left out of the loop, but I'm not looking to get you in any trouble with the Jedi Masters. We'll do things your way for a while"

Bastila looked away from Carth back to Shira, "come, they are expecting us. I will lead you to the Council chambers".

-()-()-

Carth stood outside the Council chambers furious that he was not allowed into the meeting with the Jedi Council. If they didn't want to talk to me as well then why the hell did Bastila drag me out of the ship and what the hell are they talking about in there? Carth sat on the bench in front of the doors and rested his head on one hand, "I don't like this I know something big is about to happen and I am not even allowed to know. This just makes me distrust the even Jedi more with all there secrets and…" just then the doors flew open and Shira strolled out, "Shira what happened, what was all that about?"

Shira glanced over at Bastila who just walk straight past them, "well you know the Jedi always arguing" she said in a cheery voice.

Carth furrowed his brow, "what were they arguing about?"

Shira motioned for them to start walking, "well they were arguing about making me a Jedi?"

"A what!"

"I know right isn't that the strangest thing"

Carth was silent and looked away from her, "what did you say?"

Shira smiled slightly, "I accepted"

"Oh you did" Carth said trying to sound happy

Shira stopped and placed her hand on Carth shoulder, his body strangely tingled at her touch, "don't worry Carth I know how much you distrust people and even more so the Jedi but I am not going to change. I have already done my time as a criminal and even though working for the republic is not my first choice I would rather them in charge then Malak" Shira chuckled "I mean if Malak was in charge smuggling spice would become harder then you would think". Shira was silent for a moment, "If I am truly powerful in the Force as they say then I will train it to be a better fighter and to be able to help more people, to help the republic and to stop Malak"

Carth smiled at the thought that she was only doing this to help people it seem very kind in a time like this, even more so with her shady past. As Carth stayed in her company longer, he discovered how complex she really was. She was more then just a criminal she had a real kind heart and was noble and just in the things she did. "Well as long as you don't become like Bastila all childish and secretive I'm fine with it"

Shira punched Carth lightly on the shoulder and laughed, "don't worry I don't plan to follow in Bastila footsteps. Beside once I've finished my deal with the republic the Jedi tricks will become very helpful back on Nar Shaddaa"

"Deal with the republic? I thought you said you joined to stay out of jail?"

"True but it doesn't mean I will stay with them forever when they tell me I can go or when I feel like I have done my duty and they won't go back on our deal then I will head back out to Nar Shaddaa"

"Yes but if you are a Jedi you will be part of the order and there's no escape from them"

Shira smiled cheekily, "why do you think I will head for Nar Shaddaa straight away, there are to many people there it will be hard even for the Jedi find me"

Carth smiled, "ok, ok i get it you win. Lets go back to the ship"

-()-()-

The next morning Carth sat in the main hold everyone was still asleep He had another rough night sleep his dreams plagued by painful memories of his past. Carth had manage to find some coffee in one of the small cupboards and made himself a cup but before he was able to enjoy it Bastila walked in the room looking sickly pail, "Bastila are you alright?"

Bastila seemed not to notice him until he spoke, "hmm?... ah… yes, yes I'm fine" she glanced around the room "I am glad you are up I am going to speak with the Jedi Council once Shira wakes up tell her the Council wishes to speak to her"

Carth raised an eyebrow, "how do you know the Council will wish to speak with her?"

Bastila wonder away from Carth and softly said, "Trust in the Force Carth"

Carth rolled his eyes, there she goes again, I mean I would love to trust in the Force if the damn Jedi would keep us in the loop besides can't they just answer a simple question he though as Bastila left the ship.

Several hours had passed since Bastila had left and the others were still asleep. Carth was getting board he tried to contact the republic but was unable to get through to them. At first Carth distracted himself with checking the ships status and seeing if there was anything he could fix, but since they had landed, the people on Dantooine had been repairing the ship for them. Soon Carth started to wonder why Bastila was taking so long so he left the ship to find her. A cool breeze greeted Carth as he exit the ship being warmed by the sun was a welcome change from the metal interior of the Ebon Hawk. Carth looked around every one seem so calm and happy it was strange to him, How can they all be so calm when there is a war going on he though sourly. Suddenly Carth heard footsteps from behind, him he turned to see Shira walking off the ship looking as pale as a ghost. "This morning's getting weirder by the minute. First Bastila comes out looking like she saw a ghost and now you" Carth paused as he remembered what Bastila told him this morning, "oh, Bastila did mention that you should go to the Council chambers before she left. It is no doubt urgent, so you shouldn't keep them waiting".

Shira rubbed her eyes, "I had a rough night…" her voice suddenly trailed off

Carth gazed at her Taris he thought to himself sadly, "well I can't say I don't blame you I… I haven't been sleeping well myself. Here I thought things would get better once we escaped Taris".

"Did she say anything else?"

"No she didn't. She didn't seem well, as I recall… and for that matter neither do you. Are you alright?"

"I had a rough night… lets go" she said abruptly as she hurried pasted him.

Carth's gazed followed her "You got it"

As Carth waited outside the Council chambers, he knew there was something wrong he knew the Council was hiding something from them and he hated it. He tried asking the Council members the day before about what they told Shira and Bastila but they refused to talk. The pale look on Shira face still troubled him, even though he had not known her long he had surprising longing to keep her safe and to put her well being in front of his own. It was a bizarre feeling; he had no idea where it was coming from. "first it started with me watching her and imaging things about her that I shouldn't have and now I can't help but worry and want to put her safety before my own… what is going on with me?… what is it about her that…" Carth was cut off as the Council chambers doors suddenly opened and once again, Shira walked out. Carth jolted up "what did they want now?"

Shira looked back at the Council, "I am to start my Jedi training tomorrow"

"That's it? That's all they wanted to talk to you about?" he said irritably

Shira glanced back at the Council again and sighed, "Yes Carth that's it"

Carth glared at her she holding back on me I know there is more to this… god damn Jedi's, "I know that's not it if that was it Bastila would have just told you" Carth turned his back on her "I know your hiding something from me and I don't like to be left out of the loop"

Shira was silent for a moment and then sighed, "I have to get my things I am staying at the enclave for my training", and then without a word Shira brushed past Carth.

-()-()-

For a week Carth did not see Shira not because he wasn't allowed to but because his pride did not let him. He found himself worrying about her hoping her training was going well he did all he could to push these thoughts and feeling aside. Carth did not see much of the others except for when they returned to the ship to go to bed or to eat. Mission and Zaalbar would go and spend the day either with Shira or exploring the enclave and the fields around it. Canderous would always leave early in the morning and come back late at night, when Carth would go into the hanger he would notice that Canderous's gun was gone. Carth would come to the conclusion that every day Canderous would go out hunting or training, what type of hunts or training methods Canderous would do he did not care to know. The only one that would stay on the ship was T3-M4 but it was not much company for Carth.

Carth would usually spend the days and most of the nights reading different datapads that were lying around on the ship. One night Carth was in the main hold reading when Mission interrupted him, "you have been sulking for almost a week now did you piss her off again?"

Carth looked up and saw Mission sitting at the opposite end of the table with a smug look on her face, "no quite the opposite she 'pissed' me off"

"Why what did she do?"

"She hiding something"

"Is that it?" Mission laughed, "what are you her boyfriend she is allowed to have secrets"

"Boyfriend?... what?... no…" Carth said awkwardly.

Mission smiled at him, "relax Carth I'm teasing you, I know it's late and I have noticed your not sleeping much so I will ignore your reaction" Mission paused and was silent for a moment.

Carth noticed she was staring at him intensely he was about to say something when she finally spoke.

"Her training is going well… really well as if she has done it before. I heard the Jedi Masters say that she has mastered things that ordinarily take years for others to learn. She should be done with her training and ready to do small missions around Dantooine by tomorrow"

"I would assume that means she will be doing those missions alone considering the only reason she would do them is so the Council can see her in the field"

Mission chuckled, "it is probably true that they want to see her in action but I doubt that she would do the missions alone she will probably take Bastila… and you"

Carth raised an eyebrow, "I understand taking Bastila but why me"

Mission stood up away from the table, "come on Carth out of all of us she has known you the longest and I think she trust you the most". Mission yawned and stretched her arms, "well I'm going back to bed I hope you are able to sleep soon you will probably have a big day tomorrow, night gramps". Before Mission disappeared, she stopped and turned to Carth, "oh Carth before I forget if Shira isn't telling you something now she will eventually, did you stop and think that when you asked her it just wasn't the right time for her to say anything… think about it and stop sulking and being paranoid"

Once Mission was gone Carth was once again alone with his thoughts, strange how she is advancing in her training so quickly she must be stronger than I thought or…Carth shook the thought out of his head and moved on to another. I guess I should be flattered that she trust me above the others but yet she keeps me out of the loop with the information I probably need to know. He sighed, but maybe Mission is right and I am just being paranoid. Carth rubbed his eyes, put the datapad away, and headed off to bed hoping to be able to sleep with all these thoughts in his head.

-()-()-

As Mission had predicted Shira had asked Carth to accompany her and Bastila on a few missions around Dantoonie. After doing many small mission that was not asked of them from the Jedi Council they had finally arrived at the grove where the taint of the darkside was present. As soon as they entered the grove Carth could see Shira tense up as if something unseen was about to attack her. Carth could feel something, like a shadow or a phantom lurking behind them, watching them, and waiting until they let their guard down. He did not like this he did not like an enemy he could not see. He was glad he was not a Jedi this feeling of dread must be so much worse for them he thought. The thought did not comfort him as he glanced at Shira and the need to protect her almost overpowered him. Get a hold of your self man he thought remember she could betray you at anytime. They walked carefully into the grove and there right in the middle of it sat another Jedi.

The Jedi seem to sense them and before Carth could do anything he was frozen on the spot. Damn the force! Damn the Jedi tricks! Why can't they just fight without powers like the rest of us? Carth could see out of the corner of his eyes that Shira was not frozen. The yellow blades slowly drew out of her double-bladed lightsaber and the fight began. Carth felt so helpless he wanted to help but could not move a blasted inch. Minutes felt like hours as he watch Shira fight and finally it ended and Carth was free of his immobile prison. After talking with the young Jedi Juhani Shira had manage to convince her to forsake the darkside and go back to the enclave to talk to the Council. Carth was amazed at how easily she had managed to calm Juhani down.

-()-()-

As they made their way back to the enclave Carth walked up next to Shira, "so how did you do that?"

"Do what?" she asked plainly

"Calm Juhani down so much that she threw away the darkside"

Shira smiled, "it wasn't that hard"

Carth smirked, "last I heard was the darkside was a big deal for Jedi and it is pretty hard to get away from once you're sucked into it"

Shira glanced over at him he could see amusement in her eyes, "Carth I don't think she was anywhere near the turning to the darkside she was just angry and felt guilty all natural emotions that the Jedi masters brand as the…" she paused, "darkside" she said in a mocking voice.

Carth chuckled, "well at least you have kept your common sense after becoming a Jedi"

Carth could see a small smile light up her face at this comment, an unexpected feeling of joy filled his heart as he saw this.

Once they arrived back at the enclave they were summoned to the Jedi Council once again Carth had to wait outside while they discussed things. Carth was glad that it only took several minutes before Shira walked out the door. "What are we doing now?" Carth asked hastily.

"Well first I am now a Jedi… a Padawan but a Jedi none the less and second we are to investigate these ruins on the outskirts of the enclave"

"Why?"

"Because a Jedi that the Council had sent hasn't returned and the Council feels it is important for us to go" Bastila interrupted, "now enough talking and let's go"

Carth glared at Bastila and followed her out of the enclave.

-()-()-

He had seen it the Star Map the thing that had started Revan and Malak on their journey, this information only being told to him once they found it. Carth was amazed by it but the map wasn't complete and as soon as he noticed that he knew this was just the beginning of his dealings with the Jedi. As soon as they returned to the enclave Shira had informed the Council of their findings this time Carth was allowed into the meeting, which he enjoyed less than he thought he would. The Council had commanded it and now they were off to find the rest of the Star Maps. Carth was hoping he could be back with the Republic and leave all this Jedi nonsense behind but still he was happy that he would be spending more time with Shira.

Once they had arrived back on the ship everyone seemed so happy and eager to leave. It surprise Carth especially when Canderous patted him on the back and said, "We're off to help the Jedi now, this should be fun". Carth strolled up to his pilot seat and began preparations for take off. He could hear Shira walking up behind him and he asked, "So where to? I sort of need to know before I can fly anywhere"

Shira chuckled, "calm down flyboy lets go to ummm…" Shria was silent for a moment. Carth turned to see her spinning her finger around the galaxy map with her eyes closed until she landed on a planet, "that one" she said cheerfully.

Carth checked the course "okay then Tatoonie it is"

"Good lets get the hot and dry place out of the way"

"It will take us maybe about a day maybe less"

"Take your time Carth its not like we need to save the galaxy or anything"

Carth smirked, "ha ha very funny why don't you take this time to relax I'm sure you haven't had a chance to do that yet"

Shira rested her hand on his shoulder his, again his body began to pleasantly tingle, "you know just what I need huh Carth?"

Carth fought past the lump in his throat, "I should, I have healed you at least twice now"

Shira removed her hand and the tingling halted, "well then I'm going to check on the crew and also I have to welcome Juhani onto the ship"

"we have another crew mate didn't you listen to me when I said don't trust anyone plus she has almost gone to the darkside"

Shira laughed, "relax Carth I've got it all under control. I'll talk to you soon alright".

As soon as she left Carth tried to concentrate on flying the ship but his mind kept wondering to that strange feeling that came over him, how did I go from being mad at her to that he wondered to himself as the ship hit hyperspace.


	7. Chapter 7 Trip to Tatooine

Chapter 7 – Trip to Tatooine

Carth hummed a cheerful tone there's nothing more relaxing than traveling through hyperspace he thought to himself. In hyperspace there were no threat of being attacked, he did not have to worry about controlling the ship. Carth activated auto-pilot and now was free to leave the cockpit. As he stood to leave Bastila cleared her throat, "and why are you leaving your post Carth?"

Carth took a deep breath to calm himself, "Bastila before you go on your rant of who is in charge, remember the ship is on auto-pilot so I am free to relax".

Bastila made no move to reply and returned to her meditation. Carth was relieved to get out of there he was still angry at Bastila. Even now she refused to tell him what the Jedi Council had told her and Shira. In the main hold Carth found Shira sitting alone staring at a datapad, "what are you reading?" he asked

Shira head shot up to face him it seemed Carth had woken her from some sort of trance, "oh… nothing just Jedi stuff"

Carth frowned, yes and that isn't suspicious at all he thought. He walked over to one of the cupboards and pulled out two mugs, "would you like some tea?"

Shira smiled, "oh yes please"

Carth searched through the cupboard and found two small boxes. One full of jeru tea and the other full of kopi tea. He grabbed a bag of jeru tea and placed it into his mug, "guess what?" he asked playfully.

"What?"

"You have two options for your tea tonight"

Shira laughed, "oh goodie, and what may they be?"

"Jeru tea or Kopi tea"

"Jeru tea!" Carth could hear the excitement in her voice, "I would love some jeru tea"

"Two jeru teas coming up" he said with a grin

Once the teas were done Carth handed Shira a mug as he sat down next to her. He watched as Shira took the tea and held it close to her lips, breathing in the sweet smell and savoring the taste. Carth gazed at the still steaming liquid in his mug; his mind traveling back to his wife, jeru tea had been her favorite as well as his. On the night he had proposed to her he had taken her on a picnic by the beach and they drank jeru tea while they watched the waves slowly crash on the shore. Carth took a slip of the tea its sweet syrup-like liquid slipped down his throat. He heard Shira moan in delight as she said, "jeru tea is my favorite it's so heavenly to be drinking it again".

Carth smiled absently, "it's my favorite as well I haven't had it in some time"

"I haven't had it since I joined the republic"

Carth turned his head in surprise, "why not? The fleets always have a large supply of it"

Shira chuckled, "jeru tea was always a…" her voice drifted away. Carth could see her eyes dart away from his as she said, "it was always an award I would give myself when I was able to escape the authority". Shira quickly took another sip from her tea. Carth was about to question her further when she interrupted, "Carth can I ask you something?"

"Sure what's on your mind?"

"I want to continue our discussion from before about your whole trust issue"

He sighed, "I thought I said I didn't want to talk about it anymore"

"Don't you think you'd feel better if you discussed it?"

He glared at her, "listen, sister… just because we're working together does not mean you get to badger me with constant questions!"

Shira met his glare with the same intensity, "You're damn right it does"

Carth looked away and slammed his fist on the table almost knocking his mug over, "blast it if you aren't the most frustration woman to talk to isn't there someone else you can harass for a little while?"

"What exactly is it about me that frustrate you?"

"Oh no, I'm not falling for that one. I wasn't born yesterday, you know"

Her eyes moved away from his, "And you say I'm frustrating to deal with"

Carth glanced back at her feeling strangely distressed at upsetting her, "What? Me? What did I do?"

"You don't know? Typical male"

His anger melted away as guilt washed over him for upsetting Shira, "I…" he sighed "okay I give up you win. Look, I suppose I… could use someone to talk to I'm just not used to it. And I don't know why you're so interested. But here goes". He took a deep breath, "when I think of all the men who have betrayed us, the one that stands out above them all is the one I respected the most. Saul." Just saying that named filled him with almost uncontrollably rage.

Shira glare soften away as she listened, "that name sounds familiar"

Carth was surprised, "with good reason. Admiral Saul Karath is the commander of the entire Sith fleet. He's half the reason Malak has done so well in the war. Saul was my commanding officer back when the Mandalorian Wars first began. He taught me everything about being a soldier… and I looked up to him. Saul approached me before he left. He talked to me about how the Republic was on the losing side… and about how I should start thinking of my survival. I know now that he was trying to recruit me into the Sith, but I couldn't have conceived of it back then. I argued with him and he got angry and he left. I never saw him again"

"you didn't think he would betray the Republic?"

Carth looked away from Shira caring eyes, "Saul was my mentor… he led us to so many victories against the Mandalorians even when things looked to be at their worst. I just… I couldn't conceive of it. He… he couldn't be serious, I was wrong, of course… he not only left us for the Sith, he… he gave them the codes to bypass our scanners. I remember waking up as the first of the Sith bomber snuck past our defenses and began destroying half our docked ships. I knew right away what had happened. I… could have stopped him. I could have stopped it all."

Shira rested her hand on Carth's, "So you blame yourself for trusting your friend?"

Carth pulled his hand away from hers, "I don't know maybe he might have killed me if I'd tried, or I might have killed him. I was stupid, however, and I let him go. I fought Saul for years now and if I ever catch up to him… he will regret what he's done. He will regret it"

"I would do the same thing in your shoes"

He sighed and sipped his tea, "well.., there's more to the story, I guess but I don't want to talk about it right now." Carth stood up abruptly and headed towards the male dormitory leaving his half full cup of tea and Shira behind.

As Carth wondered down the hall he heard Canderous's deep chuckle behind him. Carth turned to see Canderous leaning against the wall, "You are a fool. What do you think your doing?" Canderous asked Carth

"what do you mean?" he replied trying to hide his distain for Canderous

"Could you truly not see the way she was gazing at you?. Yet you turn your back on her and leave her like that."

"She was question me about my past. I had told her time and time again that I didn't want to talk about it"

"Grow a pair Carth questions me about my past constantly. She is just a curious pup, a god damn fine looking pup to say the least"

Carth glared at Canderous, "don't speak of her like she is a piece of meat"

Canderous laughed, "I was paying her a complement I am sure you have noticed her beauty as well. I bet you have thought the same thoughts as I have"

Carth looked away from the Mandalorian

"I thought so… Carth if you don't want her then I will win her"

"she is not just a prize that you can win… you have to earn a woman like her"

Canderous smile widen, "I'm glad to hear you say that but I wonder did you notice what she did when you two were talking"

"no what?"

"she placed her hand on yours"

"that means nothing she was comforting me"

Canderous laughed, "After you yelled at her, I think not. If she did not care even just a little she would have hit you and walked away, not place her hand on yours..." Canderous stopped as he glanced back at Shira, "think about what I said Carth… oh and I will give you a chance with her but if you fail I will step in and take her". Canderous turned and disappeared down the hall.

-()-()-

Carth closed the dormitory door, threw his shirt off and slumped onto his bed, his mind swimming with thoughts. A mixture of emotions filled him. He was mad at not knowing what and why they were on this important mission. He was confused at what Canderous had told him and angry at him for talking about her as if she was nothing more than a prize to him. He also felt guilty about lashing out at Shira she did not deserve it. But above all the feeling of uselessness had been eating away at him since this mission had started. A knock on the door startled Carth, "who is it?"

His head shot as he heard the sweet calming voice of Shira, "it's me Carth you left your tea behind".

Carth stood and opened the door. Shira gazed up at him holding his tea "thank you Shira". He noticed that Shira's eyes widened and she looked away. Her cheeks turned red why is she blushing? then the realization that he wasn't wearing a shirt struck him, "oh I'm so sorry Shira I was heading off to bed and I didn't think…" that's right you didn't think Carth.

Shira smiled, "no Carth it's okay I shouldn't have disturbed you I just thought…"

Carth smiled, "I know you were being sweet and kind and caring like you usually are"

Shira looked into his eyes, "even though I'm the most frustrating woman you have ever met"

Carth laughed as he put his shirt back on and took the tea from Shira, "yes even though you are the most frustrating woman I have ever met your still sweet, kind and caring"

Shira eyes darted away, "Do you want to talk? You got pretty upset the last time we spoke."

Carth sighed and sat down on his bed, "I… ahhh…. I'm not very good at this. I… I know I owe you an apology. Uh, more than one, probably I was just so desperate to finally face Saul directly in the battle over Taris, and now the Jedi have us looking for these… these Star Maps. I know this mission is important. It's just… I feel a bit useless. I can fight, sure but I'm no Jedi… all this feels completely out of my league".

Shira sat down next to Carth "And how does that excuse your actions?" she asked

Damn it I hate it when she is right "it doesn't I know. It's… been a while since I even had to think about that sort of thing. I just hate not knowing what's going on and feeling this… helpless. But I shouldn't have taken that out on you. I've been a royal pain in the backside haven't I?"

Shira giggled, "you sure have"

Carth chuckled, "ha! Well… I guess I should be at least a little pleased that I haven't lost my touch. So… I'm sorry. Will you accept my apology?"

"only if you agree to work with me, for once" she smiled.

"done! Let's get underway, then shall we… partner?"

He gazed at Shira who smiled and then surprisingly hugged him. His whole body started to tingle as the feel and warmth of her body filled him. The vanilla smell of her hair overwhelmed his senses. The hug was brief but it felt like an eternity and when it ended he longed for it to return. Shira moved slightly away from Carth, her cheeks warmly colored red from her blushing. Carth gazed down at her, her eyes were so deep that he felt that if he stared at them for all of time he would still not see all of its wonders. The two of them were silent and the urge to be closer to her almost consumed him. She leaned closer to Carth their lips almost touching and then she moved and kissed him on the cheek. "thank you Carth" she said as she stood up and left. Carth watched her leave his whole body hot and all his senses still swimming in the memory of her body and of her smell. I need a cold shower he thought now.

-()-()-

The next day was quiet Carth had decided to stay in the cockpit as he could be alone there. If anyone bothered him he could pretend that he was working. Carth's mind tried to make sense of his reaction to Shira hug from the night before. The memory brought him joy as well as distress. Carth felt like he was betraying the memory of his wife by these new feeling towards Shira. It had been years since his wife had died and he had not been with another woman since. In Carth's eyes his wife was the only woman he could ever love. She was the only woman that would get such emotional reactions from him. He thought all that until he met Shira. There's something about her she is beautiful, strong, smart, funny and even with her shady past she is someone I feel comfortable around he thought. Carth shook his head no stop it don't think like this she could hurt you, betray you like Saul. With just the mention of that name his heart sank and bitterness ran through his veins. Carth stared out into hyperspace, I should be looking for Saul not this, I know this is important but why is it that they send Shira who is a Padawan why not send an experience Jedi with us… this is all very strange. He knew she wasn't telling him something even after she said that they need to work with each other. He knew the Jedi Council had told her something, but they and Bastila were as closed mouthed as ever.

Footsteps alerted Carth and snapped him out of his thoughts. He turned to see Shira holding a mug of tea. She smiled at him and he could feel the side of his lip tugging into a smile. Don't do anything or say anything stupid he thought as she walked closer to him.

"hello Carth I thought you might be thirsty you haven't left this room all day"

He took the tea trying to avoid her eyes still embarrassed about his behavior the night before, "thank you but I haven't been in here that long"

"you came in here in the early morning and now it is late evening I would consider that long"

"well I must have been having fun then. You know what they say time flys when your having fun" he said taking a sip of his tea.

"yes" Shira said quietly.

The room was filled with an awkward silence that Carth felt uncomfortable being in, "so how have you past the day?"

Shira was silent for a while seeming to Carth that she was in deep thought, "well early this morning Bastila, Juhani and I trained well into the afternoon. After that I talk to Canderous…"

A pang of jealousy and distain filled Carth's heart

"he has a lot of interesting war stories" she continued "I am learning a lot about his version of the Mandalorian War. After that I talked to Bastila about her family and past, she is just as defiant in talking about it just like you are" she laughed, "She also gave me a whole speech about the darkside and its dangers, at that point I walked away and talk to Juhani. I discovered that she grew up on Taris and I got her to talk to Mission when I left them they were both having a good laugh about stupid things they got themselves into as kids. It was good to see Mission laugh after what happen to Taris. Also about her brother leaving her with some woman and never returning. I hope she will start smiling more often. What else did I do… oh I talked to Zaalbar about the life debt he made to me, I still think its silly but he is so determined to follow me till death. Yeah and well once I noticed the time I thought maybe you would like some jeru tea".

Carth sipped his tea silently still not looking at Shira who smiled uncomfortably at his silence and continued talking, "I just thought it was strange at how quiet you are today well not only today but since we started this mission. Other than last night you haven't really talked much and you are have been spending a lot of time in here"

Carth finally talked, "I am the pilot and this is the cockpit I have work to do in here"

Shira frowned, "Carth I know that is bullshit, the ship is on auto-pilot and there is no work that you need to do. I know something is wrong I can sense."

"oh can you now" he said sarcastically

"yes and I know it is something different from what you were upset about last night"

Carth just grunted in reply

"grow up Carth and stop having these stupid mood swings" she growled, "as I said, you've been very quiet, lately, you know that?"

Carth furrowed his brow, "Have I been quiet? I suppose I have. I guess I just don't like being left out of the loop"

"left out of the loop? I don't understand."

"left out of the loop. You know. Not being told anything… strung along. It's really starting to irritate me. For one thing, I want to know what the Jedi Council said to you. They pulled you in there and refused to tell me a thing about it. I'm rather curious to know what went on… and why they didn't keep you on Dantooine for training. Isn't that strange?"

Shira glared at him, "why don't you ask Bastila?"

"I would be more than happy to, but she's as closed-mouthed as the rest of the Council. I'm hoping you'll be the one to enlighten me."

Shira glare disappeared and she sighed, "They thought it was more important that I help find the Star Maps than stay."

There's more to it I know just tell me, "and why is that? You were a great help on Taris, but why would they keep you with us? Don't they… don't they have to train you?"

She looked away from Carth, "they said there's a bond between Bastila and myself"

What! "A bond? What kind of bond? You mean to say that they told you, you were 'tied' to Bastila in some way? Heh. I have trouble believing that." There's more to this I know it argh damn Jedi's, "you're a neophyte Padawan who's been saddled with the responsibility of tracking down these Star Maps. Why? That's not normal." He could see rage building in Shira but he continued before she had a chance to talk. "I'm not trying to provoke you or imply that you're somehow responsible for the Jedi Council… but give me a hand, here! There has to be a reason!"

"Bastila and I have a bond. We have to do this together. That's all I'm going to say" she said coldly.

Carth angrily stood up from his chair, "And what does that mean? Is this more of that destiny garbage that the Jedi keep talking about? Well, that can't be it!" He shoved his tea into Shira hands, "I'll tell you this much… I am 'not' going to wait around until I'm betrayed again!"

"I am 'not' going to betray you! I am 'not' Saul" she pleaded

"well, we'll just see about that, wont we?" Carth was suddenly taken aback when he saw tears swelling in her eyes and his anger quickly disappeared. He took the tea from her hand and put it next to his chair, and then he softly held her hand, "look, I didn't mean it that way. I want to get to Saul, not" he let go of her hands and turned away "… no… no, forget it, it seems all I can do is insult you, isn't it? Just forget I said anything" he jumped up and walked towards the hallway. He stopped and turned to her "Shira"

"yes Carth?" she whispered

"I know I said I would work with you as a partner but you have to understand that I can't do that unless you tell me everything. Until you let me know what is really going on here. I can't trust you fully until you do. I am sorry I don't mean to get angry at you its just all of this a lot to ask of me when I have no idea what is really going on. Please don't hate me but just think about what I said." With that Carth left the cockpit.


	8. Chapter 8 Tatooine

A/N: Thanks to everyone that is reading and enjoying this story. Thank you for your reviews and subscribing to the story :D. Sorry if it feels slow at times I want to build the relationship between Carth and Revan instead of having them just jump into. Well I hope you are enjoying it.

Chapter 8 – Tatooine

The landing had been smooth enough and Carth was glad that there were no signs of sandstorms heading to the area. The team met in the main hold. This was their first stop to find the Star Maps and he was sure that Bastila wanted to lay down her ground rules. Carth was surprised however that Shira did all the talking. She stated that their only clue to where the Star Map was that it is located in a cave somewhere in the dessert. When she was questioned on how they knew Bastila responded, "The Force has given us a vision of the Star Map guiding us on in the right direction". Carth shook his head; well this is new news to me. Once the meeting was done Carth headed back to the cockpit when Shira called out to him, "Carth aren't you coming with me and Bastila into the city"

Carth froze, after the night before he was not ready to risk upsetting her during the day, "ah no I have to check the engines and make sure sand didn't get to them when we were landing."

"Oh… okay…"

Carth turned and smiled, "don't worry I will join you on the next one"

Shira nodded to him, "its… okay Carth I will bring Canderous on this one I think he's getting a little stir crazy being cooped up on this ship"

Carth's felt a chill grun through him quickly followed by his blood boiling with anger and slight jealously. Shira smiled and waved goodbye to him as she left the ship. Carth stood staring after her as Canderous laughed, "one point to me hey flyboy ha". Carth glared as Canderous followed Shira off the ship.

The ship was quiet, it did not take long to check the engines for sand but the truth was he knew there wouldn't be any. He had lied to Shira he still felt a little awkward about the way he treated her the previous night, I can't believe I almost made her cry. I almost made one of the strongest and wildest woman I have ever met cry…God I am a jackass…Carth stared out the front window of the ship as regret plagued his mind, I yelled at her, I basically said she was useless to this mission and yet she was sweet and nice to me this morning…

Shira voiced echoed in his mind, "Bastila and I have a bond. We have to do this together. That's all I'm going to say". Carth sighed, I know she is hiding something, I know there is more to it…but maybe that's all she said because that's all the Jedi Council told her…Argh I don't know...

"I'll tell you this much… I am 'not' going to wait around until I'm betrayed again!" His words now haunting him. The memory of her reply followed his bitter words, "I am 'not' going to betray you! I am 'not' Saul". She's right damn it she's right, she's not Saul and I should not have said that ... He thought as her voice and memory disappeared from his mind.

Carth sighed, he knew there was no point in feeling regret because it was already done but still he found it strange how he was defending her against himself. Shira is a lot like my wife…she knows how to make a man want to protect her even against himself…as well as being able to pull on these, what I thought were, steel heart strings of mine he thought with a smile. Carth stared down at the people in the port and found himself distressed not to see Shira returning to the ship. He looked over at the small clock by the pilot's chair to see that she had not been gone for more then ten minutes. He groaned in frustrations, get a hold of yourself man… relax and breath she'll be back soon.

-()-()-

Carth was in the main hold when Shira returned. He felt his heart jump and his lips transforming into a huge grin. Shira returned the smile with a smaller sweeter grin. He was almost so distracted by Shira that he did not notice Bastila rush off to the cargo hold looking as if she was about to cry. "Ah is Bastila okay?" he asked

Shira smile disappeared, "we were told Bastila mother was sick and was looking for her we searched and found her in the local cantina. When we met her she and Bastila had a fight, followed by her telling Bastila that she was dying and that Bastila father had gone off to get the Krayt dragons pearl so they could pay for her treatments. However Bastila's father hasn't returned and he mother fears him dead and want Bastila to retrieve his holocrons"

"Are you going to help her?"

"I am but Bastila still a little angry over the meeting so I thought it was best for her to return to the ship and meditate on it before we head out into the dunes…" Shira paused for a moment, "oh and I brought us a new crew mate"

Before Carth could answer he heard the heavy metal foot steps of a droid. The droid was taller then him, it was brown and quiet rusted. "Statement: HK-47 is ready to serve master" it said to Shira

"Hello HK this is Carth" she gestured towards him "he is our pilot"

HK was silent seeming to scan Carth, "Sarcastic statement: joy another meatbag!"

"HK" Shira giggle

"You find him calling me a meatbag funny?"

Still giggling, "Not because it's directed at you I just find the way he calls us human's meatbags funny… as well as… slight déjà vu"

"I see" he replied with a slight smile

"Query: why does this meatbag smile at that comment?"

Shira giggled and Carth remained silent

"Annoyed query: Master are you mocking me?"

"No of course not HK" Shira replied. She gave a side glance at Carth and winked, "well I will go and check on Bastila see how she is"

As Shira walked towards the cargo hold Carth reached out with his hand to stop her, "wait don't leave me with…" Shira was out of the room before he could finish. Carth turned back to see HK staring at him.

"Statement: My scanner is detecting a strange amount of chemical in your system when master was around and it lingers in you still. Strange my scanners detected the same chemical in the Mandaloran. Annoyed statement: I may be a droid but I do know what those chemicals are to a meatbag. Threat: I will be watching you and the Mandaloran; if any harm comes to the master by you meatbags I'll have no trouble dismembering you"

Carth was silent as HK marched past him. Trust Shira to bring a homicidal droid on board he thought with a chuckle. Carth sat down in the main hold but it was not long before Shira returned and slumped down on the chair across from him. "Is Bastila having a tantrum again?" he asked

"Yes but the kind where she refuses to talk…" she laughed, "its relieving that I don't have to listen to her lectures but frustrating that she wont talk about her mother"

"What are you angry that she doesn't want to talk answer your questions?"

"Yes a little"

Carth laughed, "Ha! Now you know how I feel when you pester me about my past"

Shira face went stiff and she looked away from Carth, good work shits for brains you have just upset her again…god you're an ass…apologize... "I'm sorry that wasn't as funny as I thought"

Shira remained silent.

Great now she will never like you and Canderous will win her…he shook his head shut up you ass she is not a prize to win. A woman like that has to be earned now earn her trust and earn her; you can start by being nice to her he thought.

Carth laughed, "So did anything good happen today?"

"Well other than HK"

"Yes the homicidal droid" he said in a robotic voice

She giggled and smiled at Carth. You made her giggle… he smiled back at her, she is so cute when she giggles.

"I don't think HK will like you making fun of him"

Carth glanced back at HK and in the same robotic voice said, "Well we wouldn't want that now would we"

"Annoyed statement: I can hear you meatbag! And if it wasn't for the master I would shoot you right now! You would be dead before your head hit the table!" HK-47 said in a rather low tone. "Query: master can I shoot him please? I would enjoy it so much"

Shira smiled, "no HK… well maybe if he pisses me off"

"Statement: here that meatbag! 'piss' her off and I will get you"

Carth shook his head, "well then remind me not to 'piss' you off Shira… so what else did you get up to today?"

"I won a few swoop races today" she said with a huge grin.

"so you didn't do any work today?"

Shira raised her eyebrows, "I did to… I asked around about caves there are a few hundred just around Anchorhead alone…" she sighed in frustration. "The good news though is that I manage to get a hunting license so we can go out into the dunes on the condition that we kill the sand people's chieftain"

"ah… okay are we going to do that"

"no there is another thing we can do… we can help the Sand people by talking to them and seeing what they want"

"so what are you planning?"

"I am planning to talk to them, if there is a peaceful way to resolve this than that's what I'm going to choose"

How very noble of you he thought, "might I ask? Can you speak with the sand people?"

Shira smiled, "that's why I got HK silly"

"oh of course" he said with a snicker

"statement: I still feel that my assassination programming better requires me to kill the Chieftain rather than to talk"

Shira frowned, "we can't go killing every one without at least knowing all the facts"

"wry statement: very political of you master"

"don't worry HK you can kill who ever pisses me off..." she paused, "…but only if I tell you to"

"Statement: I hope a lot of meatbags do this, dismembering them will be fun"

Carth wanted to change the subject and fast mainly because he was the one who normally pissed off Shira, "ah… so…when do you want to head out?"

Shira smiled, "I wouldn't mind going now that is if you're coming along this time"

Carth couldn't help but smile, "I thought you'd never ask"

-()-()-

It wasn't long until they found themselves running into more trouble. Mission had bumped into her brother ex-girlfriend. After their meeting Mission was acting even worse than Bastila and Carth was thankful that Shira was able to calm her down and now they were looking for Mission brother as well. Their first stop was at the local hunting lodge but before they had gone in Shira had wonder over to talk to a woman who seemed very distressed. Carth surprised and heartened by Shira compassion. The woman's husband had died while on a hunt and she was not about to sell the wrath plate which she needed to sell to get credits to leave Tatooine. Without hesitation Shira bought the wrath plate for five hundred credits plus gave her two hundred more. The woman was overjoyed. Carth smiled, "I am glad to still we are still the good guys".

In the hunting lodge they met a man called Komad; he had told them about him hunting a Krayt Dragon. Carth saw Shira eyes light up at this news; he knew she was thinking about Bastila. He gave them the location of where he was hunting but not a map to get there. It seems things will never be easy for us he thought. They also met a man called Tanis Venn he was a slimball and that was all to him. Carth could feel his rage build up as Tanis talk to Shira like she was a piece of meat and staring at her breast. Carth was about to pull out his gun and shoot the bastard when Shira slid out her lightsaber subtly and growled, "if you dare talk to me like that again I will cut you balls off understood". Tanis backed away from her slowly and as they past him to leave the room Carth glared at him and said, "If I ever see you look at her like that again I promise you I will do more damage than you can imagine"

Carth hated the dessert, it was to hot and sand kept seeping into his shoes. He was glad when they had finally reached the sand people enclave and after talking with the chieftain with HK as translator they were able to make a deal. In return of giving them a moisture vaporators they were to receive the Chieftains Gaffi Stick and a promise to reduce the attacks on the miners. Shira also asked about the Star Map and the Chieftain told them of something of that description in the Eastern Sea's and were giving a map of the area. Before they left they discovered Mission brother was a hostage in the sand people enclave and after another rather heated argument which Carth was really hoping wouldn't happen, Mission brother Griff went back to Anchorhead.

-()-()-

There is was finally the second Star Map. This time the path on it seemed to get longer and Carth knew that they were slowly piecing together this puzzle As soon as they left the cave Calo Nord was waiting for them. Carth could not believe his eyes; he thought Calo died along with the rest of Taris. In the corner of his eye he saw Shira wince when Calo talked. Carth remembered Shira injuries from the last time they fought, and he was determined to repay Shira for saving his life that day. Calo's men were easy to take down but Calo blasters seemed to never stop. Shira was stuck reflecting the blaster shots with her lightsaber, while Mission and HK were pinned down by Calo's other firing line. Carth was the only one with a clear shot of Calo. He took cover behind the leg of the dead Krayt dragon. He lined up the shot and took a deep breath, his finger hovering over the trigger waiting eagerly to pull. He waited for the right moment, the perfect shot to take him down. It had arrived, one of Calo's blaster shot reflected off Shira lightsaber, just missing him by a few centimeters. Calo stop firing and jumped back but before he could do anything more Carth squeezed the trigger and Calo fell with a loud thud.

Carth ran over to Shira who was now on the ground panting, "Shira are you okay? Did he get you? Are you injured?"

Still heavily panting she replied, "no… no… I'm fine… just tired… and thirsty…"

Carth could see Shira sway slightly, "we need to get you back to the Ebon Hawk and get you some water now"

She stood up and shook her head, "no… no… I will be fine"

"Statement: the meatbag is right you have over exhausted yourself you need fluid"

Mission took Shira hand, "Carth's right you need some rest"

Shira wryly glared at them, "I am fine I am not a pushover to the heat". Shira suddenly stumbled backwards, Carth catching her in his arms.

"You might be a strong woman but you need to know your limits and I can tell you have pushed yourself too far".

Shira stood up and was about to protest when she collapsed. Carth caught her and picked her up in his arms. He gazed down at her and smiled I know this is serious so why do I feel this happy with her in my arms? he thought.

"statement: it would seem master has shut down we must get her back to the ship"

Carth looked up at HK-47, "your right HK. take point we need to get back to Anchorhead without any delay"

-()-()-

As Carth laid Shira on her bed he placed a glass of water next to her. He gazed at her elegant body as she slept. As he waited for her to wake he found himself admiring her beauty. Carth sat on the floor and leaned against the wall Shira had been asleep for a few hours now and he was beginning to worry. This reminded him of when they first crash landed on Taris he was just glad that this time she was not badly injured. As night settled on Tatooine Carth was shoved out of the dormitory so Mission and Bastila could go to sleep. Carth was reluctant to leave Shira side but soon he found himself waiting in the cockpit.

He had been trying to distract himself from worrying about Shira when a knock on the cockpit door startled him. Shira entered the room and smiled, "hello Carth I just wanted to thank you for ah you know carrying me back to the ship you were… you were… right"

Carth laughed, "what was that? I didn't quiet catch that…"

"you were right"

Carth smiled, "well that's a first for you to admit. Now if Bastila could only see that when I tell her things and my day would be complete"

"I don't think that's ever going to happen…" she paused for a moment "speaking of Bastila did she get her father's holocron?"

"yes and she gave it to her mother and well as a few credits"

"did she go see her while I was asleep?"

"I told her to I said that we will be leaving tomorrow after getting some more supplies"

Shira looked a little shocked, "she did what you told her to do?"

Carth chuckled, "I know I still can't believe it"

The two of them laughed and smiled at each other. Shira laugh sounded like music to him, it was so beautiful so full of life and love. She seemed to bring him alive, he did not know why and part of him did not care. He had now come to hate it when she was not around, the world would seem dead him if she was not next to him. He tried to control these feelings, he tried to fight them. Another part of him felt as if it was a betrayal to his wife, as if he was replacing her with Shira in his heart. This made a cold shiver run down his spine and he abruptly stopped laughing. His face became pale and stiff.

"Carth are you okay?"

He was silent he was not able to form the words. Speak damn it speak, say your okay don't make her upset or worried

Shira seemed uncomfortable with the silence, "I am glad Bastila has reconnected with her mother. I wish I could have known my… ah… it was nice that Mission was able to find her brother to I do hope they sort out there differences… if I could have one more…" her voice trailed off.

Shira? "what's wrong" he asked.

She looked away from Carth she tried to smile but he could see it was fake, "nothing I'm still tired I better go back to bed" she hastily turned to the door to leave.

"wait" he said grabbing her arm and pulling her back. He turned her around so she was facing him and he searched her eyes. He could see pain, guilt and sadness. He had never seen those emotions so strong and so deep in anyone. "Are you okay?"

She tried looking away from him, "I am just tired that's all. I only woke up to thank you"

"Well you thanked me but I feel like there was more you wanted to say"

"if there was I think I might have forgotten" she said trying to hide behind a fake laugh.

Carth could see the pain in her eyes he knew there was something deep inside her ripping her heart apart. He so desperately wanted to ask. He wanted to know how to fix it how to make her happy again. However he knew that pain. He felt that pain everyday. He knew pain like that was something you don't force out of a person. He did not know if she would ever tell him but he wanted to let her know that she could.

Carth pulled her into his arms and embraced her tightly, "I am glad you are okay…" his voice abruptly failed him as the scent of her hair wafted into his nose. That sweet smell drove him wild like it had done before. He wanted her, he wanted her so badly. He had to control himself he could not do it now no matter how much he wanted her. He could not do that to her or to his wife. Carth fought past his feeling, "What ever is troubling you, you can always come to me I will be here for you"

Carth could feel his shirt become wet as tear flowed from Shira eyes. She did not speak or make a noise but he could feel her tremble as she cried. He held onto her stroking her back trying to calm her. He never thought he would ever see her cry, she seemed so strong, seemed like nothing could break her. Carth reminded himself that even the strongest person can hind their true emotions behind a mask.


	9. Chapter 9 Trip to Kashyyyk

Chapter 9 – Trip to Kashyyyk

The next morning Shira did not leave her room at all and Carth was forced to take charge of the ship. He ordered Mission and Zaalbar to get some supplies while he and Bastila planned where to go next. Carth had wanted to go comfort Shira but after the night before where she cried for an hour and then disappeared, he thought she needed some space.

Carth was happy to leave Tatooine and all its sand behind as they jumped into hyperspace. "The trip is going to take us at least two, three days depending on how fast this ship really is" he said turning to Bastila.

"Good"

"Why is it that we are going to Kashyyyk next rather than somewhere closer like Manaan or Korriban?"

"because Carth, if the Sith are hunting us we need the less obvious path. They will assume that we would go to Manaan or Korriban next so by going to Kashyyyk we are keeping them guessing"

"sounds very cunning of you Bastila I am surprised"

"why? I am a Jedi after all I am trained to out think my enemies"

And there's that Jedi pride we have all come to love, he thought rolling his eyes. Carth switched on auto-pilot and relaxed in his chair. Bastila stood up and looked down at him, "I am going to meditate in the cargo hold if you need to disturb me please be sure it is for something important"

Carth just nodded his head, as if I would want to disturb you while you meditate, you would talk my ear off about respect for the Jedi.

Two hours had past and Carth had half expected Shira to come and see him but she didn't and that worried him. He hoped she wasn't avoiding him because of last night he was still shock and somewhat honored that she was so comfortable around him that she felt she could cry on his shoulder. I have to see if she okay I can't just sit here he thought as he jumped up and headed towards her room.

He stood outside her door, he took a deep breath but just as he was about to knock Mission interrupted him, "she is sleeping Carth"

He turned trying not to look disappointed and angry about her interruption, "still? She has been in there for hours"

Mission motioned him to follower her as she headed towards the main hold, "she is tired Carth and what do you expect she has just become a Jedi and for the first time she has to use the Force. I don't know about you but if I was her I would be exhausted" she sat down, "plus she hasn't been sleeping much lately"

Carth frowned, "do you know why?"

"I don't know why. She talks in her sleep, I can't understand what about but it seems bad like she is having a nightmare. I've notice it gets to a point where she wakes up from it and she can't fall back to sleep, she eventually leaves the room and doesn't return until early morning. Bastila and Juhani are deep sleepers, but I'm not and Shira thrashing around in bed wakes me"

I thought I was the only one having bad nightmare. Carth was silent he wondered if her nightmares was the reason she broke down and cried last night. Mission stood up looking awkward "well I better go keep Zaalbar company, I'm trying to convince him to have a bath" she smiled and left the room.

Carth wanted to talk to Shira but he didn't want to wake her. If what Mission said was true then she deserves some time to sleep and be on her own. He spent the day trying to find work to do to occupy his time. From time to time he would stop out side of Shira room longing to go in and comfort her, to talk to her, but most of all to be with her. The day seemed dull and empty without Shira's company. He would find himself missing their time they spent together on Taris, when it was just the two of them.

In space there is no day and night and if it wasn't for the Ebon Hawks clock Carth would have not know when the day would end. Through out the day he would find himself looking at the clock longing for the day to be done. He thought the sooner the day was over the sooner he could see Shira. He was hoping that with a whole day to herself she would come out of hiding and leave her room. When the night arrived he welcomed sleep looking forward to the prospect of seeing Shira.

-()-()-

Carth could not help but be disappointed the next day. Shira still had not left her room and he knew it was not because she was tired. He had waited all morning but for nothing. Carth paced around the main hold remembering all the moments he spent with her and trying to find any sign of what had made her suddenly feel this way. There is something I know there is. I must have missed it. There must be a clue in something she has said or done that would cause her to be like this he thought as he paced the room why am I so worried it cant because… no that can't be it… I couldn't feel that for her… could I.

"You still are pacing around in here? I thought you were use to being trapped on ships or is it something else that has you so worked up".

Carth froze as he heard Canderous's voice. "I don't have to answer for my actions to you. I'm not a Mandalorian who slaughtered innocent people for glory"

Canderous laughed, "taking a stab at my people ah Republican dog…" he grinned cheekily "so what got you all stirred up? Had another fight with Shira? Is that why she hasn't come out of her room?"

Carth glared at Canderous, "No"

"Than why is she so upset?"

That's what I want to find out, "I don't know and besides why do you care? To you she is a piece of meat"

"I resent that. She is a fine looking woman and a bloody strong and fierce warrior to my people she would make a perfect partner"

"Shira is not an object" he cried, "She is more than her looks and strength, she is funny, smart" he could hear his voice rising "cheeky, and has one hell of a personality and that's why you will never deserve a woman like her"

Canderous glared at Carth and stomped towards him, "you are just a weak willed man who hides behind the Republic" they were now face to face, "you are not a true warrior! You do not fight for what you want! And that is why you, do not deserve her"

Carth met his glare with the same intensity. He could feel his anger grow, "I'm not a warrior, I'm a soldier. There's a difference. Warriors attack and conquer, they prey on the weak. Soldiers defend and protect the innocent, usually from warriors."

Canderous chuckled, "nice speech. I bet you tell yourself that every night so you can sleep. But I accept who and what I am, I don't have to justify it with words – victory in battle is my justification!"

Carth raised his brow, "Justification through victory? So what happens when you lose? You know, like you did against us" Take that you smug Mandalorian

Canderous frowned, " you had us outnumber five to one. You had more ships, more troops, more supplies and the Jedi on you side" Canderous frown then turned into a fiendish smile, "and we still made the Republic tremble before we fell!"

Carth smiled, "nice speech. I bet you tell yourself that every night so you can sleep" he paused and sighed, "I don't want to talk about this anymore Canderous. The war is over. You lost."

Carth was ready to leave but stopped when the tone of Canderous's voice seemed almost sad, "I've killed many people." Canderous sighed, "I can't say I'm proud of it, but I have. Criminals, competitors, businessmen, police… women, children…" Canderous tone then became very serious almost threatening. "but I would still treat her better than you would"

Carth laughed, "that's a laugh, you're a Mandalorian you don't know what compassion is!"

"My people are not animals! You would not understand our ways! We…"

Before Canderous could continue HK-47 cut him off, "Query: why do you two meatabgs fight over pointless facts about who you are? Statement: I am an assassin droid, program to kill who ever my master commands me. The pointless fact of gender, age, or origin is irrelevant"

Canderous smiled, "even the droid is more man than you are"

Carth remained silent

"Query: you two meatbags are fighting over appropriate mate for the master correct?"

"To a point yes" Canderous answered bluntly.

Carth glared still remaining silent

"statement: the Mandalorian seem to be better suited to protect the master but that is what I am here and programmed for, so that attribute of the Mandalorian is irrelevant. Threat: ally or no ally to the master, if you two meatbags attempt something with my master harm her or other wise I will take away… what do you meatbags call it? 'Your manhood'"

Canderous grunted and glared back at Carth, "you don't have to worry about this one he doesn't have any"

"you are a bastard Canderous and if it wasn't for Shira I would shoot you where you stand"

"are you threatened by me Carth. Afraid she will choose a true warrior rather than a weak solider"

Carth glared and than brushed past Canderous leaving the room.

-()-()-

"Medic! Medic!" Carth screamed as the blood from the woman in his arms stained his clothes.

The woman was pale and her voice weak, "it's alright Carth"

He gazed down at the woman, she was faceless but he seemed not to notice, "No! you're going to be okay! Medic! Medic!"

The woman coughed out blood, "Where's Dustil?"

Carth tried to hold back his tears, "I don't know…"

"please find Dustil… he could still be alive…please"

"I promise" Carth rocked the woman's body in his arms holding her tight, "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… I was too late… I should have been here sooner… I shouldn't have left… I'm sorry… please…"

"shhh" the woman weakly raised her hand and cupped his cheek "it's not your fault… you couldn't have stopped this…"

"I shouldn't have left you…"

"I understand why you left you…"

Carth couldn't hold the tears back as they began to flow down his cheek "I'm sorry…" he could feel the woman skin become cold, "hold on… Medic! Medic!"

"I love you Carth"

Carth leant down and kissed the woman, "I love you to…"

The woman hand fell and Carth knew she was gone, "No! Medic! Medic!"

-()-()-

Carth jolted awake sweat covering his forehead, Damn it! Damn it! He could feel the guilt filling him and tears developing in his eyes, I'm sorry Morgana I'm sorry. Carth fought back his tears and guilt, this memory haunted him in his sleep almost every night since it happened and it still was able to make him feel so raw and numb. There had only been one difference in this dream, his wife was faceless. That was a first he thought as he remember the dream, am I forgetting her? The thought scared him, I need a drink lets hope this damn ship has some hiding somewhere.

Carth entered the main hold it was empty as he knew it would be. He began to search for anything strong to drink when he heard a noise coming from the cockpit. The cockpit door was shut and when he opened it he saw Shira sitting at the pilot seat with a large bottle in her hand. She didn't seem to notice Carth enter as she was talking to herself, "to us for another successful escape from the Republic ah..." She laughed and turned her head to the empty chair "and you want to be one of them why? I will never understand that"

Carth cautiously walk towards her, "Shira are you alright?"

She turned to Carth she looked like she had been crying, "yeah I am fine just been having a drink. You want some? It's Menkooro whiskey, you know like that smugglers saying you know the one along with bruallki, it was part of an old saying that was sometimes used by smugglers when they were seeking a solution to a problem…" laughter erupted from her, "oopsy… I forgot you're a solider you don't know anything about us smugglers…" her laughter died down, "you don't know why some of us become smugglers… sometimes we don't even know why… sometimes we dream of more…" she looked at the empty chair, "isn't that right"

"who are you talking to?"

Her face went stiff and pale as if the realization of the chair being empty finally hit her, "my brother…"

"You have a brother?"

"Had" tears filled her eyes as Carth sat down in the empty chair, "do you know what day it is Carth?

He did not take his gaze off of her, "no"

"It's the eight of July, it's his birthday" she raise the bottle, "Happy Birthday Bane" she then took big swig from her drink.

Carth gazed at her, she's like me, and she has lost someone that she loved that's why…why she seems to be in so much pain.

"Every year" she said, "I drink to his name and I forget he's gone… I pretend he is here talking and laughing with me… here to help me and protect me… even though he was the one who always got us in trouble…" she laughed, "he had a fascination with Republic soldiers… every time he would see one he would treat it like a rare animal and watched it like it was the last one in the galaxy… they would usually see us and us being wanted by the authority they would chase us…" She gazed out at hyperspace "we would always get away and he would make us jeru tea… it was his favorite" more tears rolled down her cheek.

Part of Carth was happy to know he wasn't the only one suffering from losing a loved one but he also hated seeing her sad and crying. He wanted to make her laugh, to make her smile, to make her happy. He had not wanted to do this for any one after his wife died he never felt a connection to anyone until he met Shira. He gazed at her, "is this why you cried the other night after Mission's brother and Bastila mother?" he asked.

"yeah it reminded me of the family I lost and never had…"

He didn't want to force her to talk about it. He knew how hard it was to talk about stuff like this, "Shira you don't have to talk about…"

She cut him off, "no… I should… you have told me so much about yourself I should at least tell you about my pain… it's good to have someone to talk to about this… and if I was to talk about it to anyone I do want it to be you"

"me?"

"yes Carth you" she stood up to walk towards him but she tripped and Carth jumped out of his chair catching her before she hit the ground, "oops… I've always been very clumsy" she said with a giggle as Carth sat her on the ground. "My brother would have liked you"

"Me?" he asked sitting next to her

"yeah, you're a good, a true solider and pilot just like what he wanted to be…" she sniffed

"tell me about him" he said smiling sweetly at her as he gazed into her teary eyes.

Shira began to tell him about how when she was a baby her parents were in the Mandalorian War as Republic soldiers, leaving them on Nar Shaddaa. Her brother Bane raised her and the only way they knew how to survive was stealing. They had no choice and no real future in Nar Shaddaa so they did what they could. When they got enough money they got their own ship and became wanted smuggler the best on Nar Shaddaa. She told Carth of how Bane looked up to soldiers as they protected innocent people and the only thing that stopped him from joining the Republic was leaving her and his criminal record. "I always felt guilty" she said "I was one reason that stopped him from his dreams". She continued saying how he was one of the best pilots she had ever met and he dreamed to fly a Starfighter. She told Carth many of their smuggling adventures but then finally she came to his death.

"My brother was a great man he died protecting me…" tears flowed down her cheek, Carth put his arm around her and hugged her tightly. She looked up at him, he could see rage in her eyes, "like you I… I hate the Sith… they killed him… we had been on Korriban, we had just finished a job and was refueling the ship when some Sith bastard attacked me…" she began to shiver and Carth pulled her close to him "they tried to rape me… I fought them off but they were three of them… I remember my brother charging them, attacking them he injured them but he got injured in the process. The Sith ran off and my brother was left dying in a pool of his own blood. I ran to him I tried to help him but he became cold and died with his last breath he told me to be strong, to be happy and to have a drink for him on his birthday. I promised him I would bring down those Sith bastards, all of them… but I didn't know how so I continued smuggling until the Republic caught me." She stopped shivering, "I took him to Telos… well what was left of it"

Carth felt his heart jumped, "Telos!"

"My brother loved it. Thought it was the most beautiful place in all the galaxy"

He wasn't wrong about that Carth thought.

"My brother would always say 'when we have enough money we will go there and live by its beaches' he used to joke and say 'we will find you a good farmer and you can start a family'" she laughed. "I buried him on the surface. I was hard to get there and dangerous but I buried him under a tree that faced the ocean. I think he would have loved that."

Carth smiled, "I am sure he does"

Shira gazed up at Carth and he wiped a tear from her cheek, "thank you Carth for listening… I'm sorry about my crying I will be better tomorrow" she laughed "I will have to or else Bastila and Juhani will give me a lecture on how emotions lead to the darkside"

Carth chuckled, "well you wouldn't want that. The Jedi pride and the ego of those two is sometimes over bearable"

"yeah one of the many downside of being a Jedi"

Carth laughed, "Well you are a brilliant Jedi, one of the best I've ever met"

"Then you haven't met a lot have you" she teased "Bane would be so jealous he…" her voiced trailed off as tears returned to her eyes.

"Bane would have been very proud of you" Carth cupped his hand on her cheek and wiped away another tear with his thumb, "he would want you to be happy he wouldn't want to miss important chances in your life because you were grieving". So would Morgana, she wouldn't want you to be miserable everyday he though to himself.

Shira smiled, "your right… thank you" she leaned up and softly pecked him on the lips.

Carth felt his heart stop and he gazed into her eyes, god you're beautiful he thought to himself.

They gazed into each other eyes for only a moment before he leaned down and kissed her tenderly on the lips. Their lips locked, Shira scent was intoxication and Carth slid his eyes shut. The memory of his dreams were washed away as Shira filled his mind. The touch of her lips seemed to send electricity to every nerve in his body. She moaned in pleasure as their tongues met. He didn't want this kiss to end, he wanted her, and he needed her. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her more passionately. He could feel her warm body against him and he longed to touch her to explore her body with his lips. He could feel it he was falling for her and this kiss, this passion proved it to himself. Shira wrapped her arms around his neck and broke off the kiss. She was silent with a slight smile on her face. He gazed down at her. He wanted more but he knew this wasn't the right time.

He kissed her quickly and sweetly on the lips and than said, "come on let's get you to bed" Carth stiffened as he realized how that must have sounded, "I didn't mean it like that I meant…"

Shira giggled, "I know. Its late and we will be arriving in Kashyyyk tomorrow"

Carth nodded, "yes we will but will you leave your room"

Shira smiled, "yes and I'm sorry around this time of year I just…"

"I understand"

They both stood up but as soon as Shira stood she stumbled over. Carth laughed and picked her up in his arms, "I better carry you if you're going to be stumbling everywhere"

Shira rested her head on his shoulder, "thank you" she whispered as he carried her to her room.


	10. Chapter 10 Kashyyyk

Chapter 10 – Kashyyyk

The day just seemed to drag on and the sight of the ship was heavenly to Carth. From the very first step they took on Kashyyyk everything had been non stop. Zaalbar had been very aggravated to the point that neither Shira nor Mission was able to calm him down. He refused to stay on the ship. Even at the mention of it he threatened to destroy everything. Carth's stomach dropped at the thought of his beautiful ship being ripped up by the Wookies sharp claws. Shira lifted one finger to shut him up before pushing the issues of Zaalbar anger further. The Wookie stayed tense as he explained how he had been exiled for attacking his brother Chuundar, who was now the chieftain of Rwookrrorro Village. Shira had agreed to let Zaalbar join the away team but within an hour that seemed like a big mistake. Chuundar had then taken Zaalbar captive and the only way they could free him was to deal with the "Mad Wookiee" who happens to be Zaalbar and Chuundar father. Carth knew from the first moment they landed that something like this was going to happen why wouldn't it he thought nothing is ever simple when it comes to this mission. When they were about to head for the lower shadowland the Wookiee elevator operator wouldn't let them go down. According to Shira it said that it was too dangerous to go down at night and they must wait until morning before it would take them. So they returned to the ship which wasn't much comfort to Carth for now the it was overrun by gizka's.

After Carth threw out half a dozen of gizka's from the cockpit, he shut the door and relaxed in his chair. Carth pulled out his pistol and stared at it, in all his years of fighting, he never imagine he'd be using it as much as he has been lately. He was a pilot; a pistol was just a safety precaution, just in case the ship got boarded. As he stared at it his mind began to wonder. Images from the previous night filled his mind. He smiled as he remembered the feel of Shira's lips, the smell of her hair, and the feel of her body. He knew it was wrong to be feeling this for another woman but his wife. It had been so long since she died and he was lonely. He missed the company of a woman who made his heart jump. He missed the feeling of being complete. He wasn't sure how much his feeling for Shira will grow or if he should even let his feelings grow, but what he did know was he was falling for her. "I'm falling for her" he groaned "how did this happen?" he put his pistol down and buried his face in his hands, "is this wrong of me? What about Morgana?..." his voice trailed off as a voice entered his head

"She's dead"

"I know she is but I vowed to revenge her"

"And you will but that doesn't mean you should ignore your feelings"

"How did this happen?"

"Shira is a brave, beautiful, smart, cheeky, fun, kind, caring, just and loyal. She is so much like you but at the same time she is so different why are you questioning this"

"But can I trust her?"

"Maybe, maybe not but why should that matter one day you will need to trust others"

"She's a smuggler"

"And a Jedi but that's not all she is. That is not who she is. It is what she has to do to survive you know that, she told you last night"

"I know but…"

"Carth stop this she is a wonderful woman who makes you feel like there is more to life than just revenge. Embrace her not push her away"

"But…"

"How many chances are you going to get in life to find a woman like her. Don't waste this."

Carth sighed the voice in his head was right but he just didn't want to feel like he was betraying his wife... Suddenly his train of thought was lost when he saw out of the window of the Ebon Hawk Shira leaning against the railing of the bridge gazing out into the forest. Carth smiled, her chocolate brown hair flowed in the wind. He felt compelled to go to her, to talk to her, to just be next to her. He couldn't fight the feeling and he went to her.

The night air was cool. The breeze softly flowed past Carth as he walked towards Shira. He was nervous he didn't know what of last night she remembered she hadn't said a word about it all day. As he got closer to her he could feel his heart racing but before he could say anything she turned around, "hello" she said with a cheerily smile.

Carth calmed his breathing and replied, "Hey". He now stood next to her trying to stay calm.

Shira looked away from him and stared out into the forest again, "I ah… I wanted to thank you for last night… I would have done it early but I though I was better to say it to you privately"

Carth smiled, "you don't need say thank you"

She frowned, "yes I do… you listened to me… I haven't been able to talk to anyone about my brother before…" she then chuckled, "I mean that's what happens when you are a smuggler you never make friends for fear of them backstabbing you or… dying"

Carth felt a pang of pain in his heart "I understand" he did he knew all to well.

Shira suddenly turned with a huge grin on her face, "but don't worry about me I will be fine… Anyway let's move on from what was my drunken whining… How are you?"

Carth was shocked at her sudden change of emotions women's mood swings he thought. At the same time he didn't know whether to be relived or disappointed that she did not mention their kiss last night. He thought it was best not to ask. Deep down inside he wanted the fact that she kissed him back to be true because she cared about him but he was scared it was because she was drunk. He didn't want that to be the reason. Shira looked at him strangely and he realized he had been silent for a little to long. "Ah good a little annoyed at those bloody gizka's. We need to find a way to get rid of them."

"Why I think their cute"

"Cute!" he laughed, "cute or not cute they're going to overrun our ship if they haven't already"

Shira smiled, "okay Carth I'm not quiet sure what to do about them but I will ask the others what they think".

Carth laughed, "Maybe HK-47 can use them as target practice"

Shira laughed, "He would love that"

"Yeah and I wouldn't mind joining him"

"Well then I think we found our solution"

"That is if Juhani and Bastila doesn't lecture us about killing the gizka's for fun"

They both laughed for a while and when silence filled the air they were both happy just to gaze out into the forest together. As they gazed out into the forest Carth notice Shira look at him then quickly turn away. At first she seems to be blushing but sometimes she looked scared uncertain something Carth wasn't quiet used to when it came to her.

After a while Shira broke the silence, "Carth?" Shira asked in a scared tone

"Yes?"

"I know this might be bad of me asking especially how I was last night but it has been on my mind nagging at me for days now"

"What is it?"

She paused for a moment, "Could you tell me why you want revenge on Saul so badly?"

Carth gripped the railing and looked away, "I already told you. He betrayed us all"

Shira placed her hand tenderly on his, "it just seems to be more… personal than that, is all"

Carth sighed you should tell her she was honest with you about her brother's death. "Well, there… there is more to it. I'm… I'm sure you don't want to hear about it"

Out of the corner of his eyes he could see her gazing at him, "I asked didn't I"

Tell her he thought. "It's just I… don't talk about it very much. Okay?" that's no excuse she doesn't talk very much about her brother and she told you. "I told you about my home world Telos. Four years ago, Saul led the Sith fleet there and demanded its surrender. The planet refused and Saul proceeded to devastate its entire surface. Millions died" He could feel the tears swelling in his eyes but he didn't want to cry in front of Shira he wanted to seem strong so he fought them back. He took a deep breath trying to bury his pain and continue. "I had… a wife and son on Telos. I thought they would be safe there. But my task force arrived too late to be of much help" the memories of that day flooded into his mind. "We didn't have enough medical supplies. The colony was burning and the dying were everywhere." The pain in Carth's heart burst as he remembered his wife and all his nightmare of that day, "I remember holding my wife and screaming for the medics. They… they didn't come in time."

"That's terrible, I'm sorry. I didn't know"

He gazed at her, "of course not. How could you? I… had nothing left after that, really. I devoted myself to the fleet. Hunting Saul was my only purpose" he took a deep breath and looked down at her hand on his, "I… miss them. I know killing Saul won't bring them back, and it won't make me happy again…but I have to do it. I don't expect you to understand" liar she understands completely, "I have to pay him back for what he has done… I have to. It's all I have left.

Shira lifted her hand from his, "what was she like, your wife?"

Carth was surprised by the questioned, "she had courage… and was stubborn" he chuckled, "Heh… a little like you in that respect. I could never talk her out of anything once she put her mind to it. And she hated it when I signed back onto the fleet at the start of the war. I had planned on… on leaving soon, to join her…"

"so what happened to your son? You didn't say."

"his name was Dustil and I don't know what happened to him. The colony was a complete ruin , and we never found any trace of him." Shame then filled him, "I made inquiries and followed the reports from Telos for years, but… I stopped." Carth felt better for at least telling Shira the whole truth of his family and quest to kill Saul but he just wanted to forget. Telling Shira all this opened up old wounds and he wanted the pain to stop. "anyway… that's the story. For what it's worth."

Shira kissed him on the cheek, "thank you for telling me."

"I've… never talked about it before. To anyone, I suppose it's time I finally did"

A long silence followed as the two of them again gazed out into the forest. At times Shira looked like she was about to say something but then didn't. The wind was beginning to die down but the air stayed icy. Shira shivered and wrapped her arms around herself trying to keep warm. Carth smiled, "here" he said taking off his jacket "take my jacket"

Shira smiled, "no that's okay I will be fine"

"come on you are shaking just take my jacket it will keep you warm"

"my Jedi robe is very warm thank you very much"

"Don't be so stubborn just put the jacket on"

"no" she said sticking her tongue out at him

"don't make me force you to wear it"

Shira laughed, "I like to see you try"

Carth smiled and then threw his jacket at her but she dodged it.

"ha-ha you missed"

"come here" he said playfully as he chased her. Shira force pushed him away but he just shrugged it off and cried, "hey no fair. No Jedi powers". As Carth chased her around the ship he finally caught up to her and softly tackled her to the ground. As they fell Shira landed on top of him and before either of them said anything Carth quickly wrapped his jacket around her.

Shira giggled as she looked down at him, "okay, okay you win"

Carth chuckled, "I beat a mighty Jedi"

"hey I haven't been a Jedi for that long"

"okay then I caught a wanted smuggler" he laughed.

"very funny" she said as she gazed down at him

Carth hadn't been this playful with anyone except his family it was nice and he couldn't help but grin. A strand of hair fell over Shira face and he softly tucked it behind her ear. Carth leaned up closer to her and whispered, "Shira…" but then was cut off by someone clearing their throat. It was Bastila and Carth cursed under his breath.

Bastila had her hand on her hips, "what are you two doing?"

The two of them quickly got off each other and Shira said, "nothing Bastila"

"I certainly hope not" she said in an annoyed tone, "you are a Jedi and you have a code and a set of rules to follow. Now if you kindly go back to the ship there are some techniques that Juhani and I need to teach you"

Shira rolled her eyes and said under her breath, "uptight bitch… she is such a kill joy"

Carth smirked at her comments as she walked back off to the ship. Carth followed but was soon stopped by Bastila, "Carth I do hope nothing just happened there, Shira is a Jedi and has rules to follow she does not need you distracting her"

Carth couldn't help but laugh he felt like a teenage boy being told off from a girl's mother. Carth had not experienced that since he was a teenager and when first met Morgana.

"Carth do you understand?"

Carth glared at Bastila, "look don't get all Jedi high and mighty with me you know I don't much care for it. And as for Shira well she is more than a Jedi she can do what ever she wants. It's about time you Jedi start treating each other like human beings. But to answer your question yes I do understand and no nothing happened." As Carth brushed past her Bastila grabbed his arm.

"Carth emotions can lead to the darkside. It is to dangerous to allow her to come close to the darkside she needs to follow the path of the light"

"there you go with all your darkside lightside garbage"

"It is not garbage!" she screamed, "the darkside is real and a threat to all Jedi we cannot allow Shira to fall down that path. I cannot allow her to repeat what she did in her dark past"

Just then warning bells rang in Carth's head "what?"

Bastila turned, "it is nothing Carth I am merely thinking out loud. Now if you will excuse me I have to go"

Again Bastila was hiding information from him and it infuriated him. But at the same time he was confused surly she can't mean back when Shira was a smuggler I mean sure that's a crime but not something that a Jedi would think would lead to the darkside… there is so much more to this but what… Carth shook his head he didn't want to think Shira could be again hiding something from him no Bastila must mean about her smuggling days. Shira would have told me last night when she was drunk if she did anything worse she would have… wouldn't she? Carth had to stop thinking like this. It had been a long day and he figured he was reading to much into what Bastila said so he returned to the ship.

Carth was stunned at what Jordo told him. His son Dustil is alive and with the Sith. The thought of his son being alive was overwhelming. He would be jumping for joy but bitter at the fact that he was a Sith crushed any happiness he would feel. Why would he be with the Sith? Where has he been all these year? Why didn't he try and contact me? All these questions and more ran through his mind making their search through the shadowlands a blur and before he knew it they had found the Star Map and was back on the Ebon Hawk ready to leave.

Carth sat quietly absent mindedly typing in the coordinates to Korriban when Shira entered the room.

"Carth?" she whispered

"hmm"

"are you okay?"

"yes, yes I'm fine"

"do you want to talk about it? About Dustil?"

Carth stood up and faced her, "what is there to talk about my son is alive and I must find him"

"I know but he's a…"

"a Sith" he said bitterly looking away.

"yeah… I mean how do you know you can trust him?"

Carth could feel his anger rising "he is my son he is my own flesh and blood. I will trust him no matter what… there has to be a reason why he has become a Sith"

"but… You said you don't trust people… I mean you didn't trust me before and I am with the Republic"

She's right, "he is my son" was all he could say.

"I know and family is important but… but a Sith!"

Carth sighed and took her hands, "Shira if instead of this being my son but your brother wouldn't you want to find him, to trust him and to know there is a reason for him becoming a Sith"

Shira sighed and smiled, "your right… we will go to…" she shivered and let go of Carth's hands "… Korriban to find your son…"

Carth hugged her tightly, he could feel her whole body relax at his touch, "thank you Shira thank you". Carth held her for a while fighting the argue to do more.

She gazed up at him with her sweet smile "your welcome" she then let go of him and cheekily said "now flyboy if you don't mind" she pointed to the pilot chair "could you get us off this planet".


	11. Chapter 11 Trip to Korriban

Chapter 11 – Trip to Korriban

As the ship jolted into space Carth could feel his heart ache. The thought of Dustil made him anxious he needed to confront him about being a Sith. He didn't know what hurt more the fact that Dustil was a Sith or that the fact he didn't try to contact him after all these years. Carth paced around the ship trying to clear his head. As he passed the cargo hold he caught a glimpse of Shira meditating with Juhani and Bastila. He stopped and gazed at Shira she looked so peaceful, how does she do it? He thought how is she able to push everything away and just sit there in complete peace.

"I wasn't aware that Jedi's meditating was so interesting" said a deep voice behind him.

Carth jumped and turned to see the newest member of their crew Jolee Bindo who was giving him an odd look.

"well boy?" Jolee asked, "what is in there that interest you so?"

"nothing"

"I may be old but I am not stupid!"

Carth said nothing as he glanced back at Shira

"if you keep gazing at her like that your eyes will fall out"

Carth rolled his eyes and turned back to Jolee, "is there something you want?"

"no not at all I was just about to teach these young Jedi's a trick or two when I caught you spying on them"

"I am not spying on them"

"well not on all of them your not" Jolee laughed

"you don't know anything"

"I have lived long enough to know what it means when a man gazes at a woman as you are to Shira"

"I was not…"

"It is not hard to read your thoughts either boy"

"You may be a Jedi but you stay out of my head" he snapped

Jolee chuckled, "fair enough boy but just some advice from this old coot. When it comes to her be careful. She is a Jedi she has the code to follow if she chooses to follow it"

"what do you mean if she chooses to follow it?"

"well she is still human"

Carth smiled at last a Jedi that wasn't like Bastila

Jolee walked into the cargo hold, "and another piece of advice people make choices without knowing all the facts, that can apply to you or your son"

Carth's eyes widened, "my son?"

Jolee smiled, "remember it's not hard to read your thoughts. Something you might want to work on before we get to Korriban"

Carth raised his brow as he watched Jolee disappear into the cargo hold, he read my thoughts? Damn it! I forgot Jedi's can do that Carth's eyes widened and he glanced back at Shira can she read my mind? Shit what if she can? Carth then heard Jolee chuckle from the cargo hold, shit! He thought as he rushed away. He was suddenly stopped in his tracks as he rammed into the steel body of HK-47

"irritated statement: watch where you are walking meatbag"

Carth rubbed his head and looked up at HK, "sorry HK I wasn't looking"

"Irritated statement: isn't that why you have eyes meatbag"

Carth pushed past HK and continued into the garage where he immediately wished he didn't.

"well well look what the Republican dog dragged in" scoffed Canderous as he cleaned his gun. "So I hear we are heading to a Sith planet… good I was looking forwarded to cracking some Sith skulls"

"statement: cracking any type of meatbag skull will be enjoyable"

Canderous laughed, "I love this droid. To bad you're not more like him Carth"

"I don't feel the need to kill every living thing in sight" commented Carth crossing his arms.

Canderous was silent as he aimed his gun at a passing gizka waiting for the perfect shot and then within seconds he fired hitting it clean in the head. Canderous looked up from his gun to Carth with a smile, "so tell me how does it feel to have your own flesh and blood betray you and join the Sith"

"what!" snarled Carth

Canderous laughed, "a Republican dog with a Sith pup. I mean your both mangy mutts that should be put down"

Carth glared at Canderous, "watch your tongue that is my son you are talking about!"

"oh yes your weak, pitiful, pathetic son just like you "

"shut your fucking mouth you bastard!" shouted Carth as his anger reached boiling point

Canderous smiled and stood up, "tell me Carth do you think this news about your son will hinder your chances with Shira"

How dare you bring her into this you have no idea what I feel for her "don't you bring her into this"

Canderous moved closer to Carth still mocking him, "why not Carth? Are you afraid that now she knows how weak you are, that you can't even stop your own son from becoming a Sith that she will go after a real warrior like me"

Dustil becoming a Sith isn't my fault "Shut up! I didn't know he was a Sith until now"

"what kind a man can't protect his son from that? What kind a man doesn't know when his son wants to become a Sith? A pathetic one. Which is exactly what you are"

"Shut your fucking mouth before I shut it for you"

Canderous laughed, "Bring it on Republic dog because once I beat your ass Shira will see what a weak and pathetic man you are and will want to…" he chuckled "have a hot and steamy night…"

Before Canderous could finish Carth struck him in the jaw. Canderous stagger backwards and smiled, "good hit but this is what a punch is really like". Canderous then swung and punched Carth in the gut throwing him backwards against the wall. Carth laid on the ground winded and gasping for air "you insult me, my son and again treat Shira as a toy and play thing for you I will see you burn for that you Mandalorian bastard".

Canderous turned away from Carth with a grunt. Carth glared at him as he slowly stood up. Then Canderous heard running feet. He turned. Carth ran into him, throwing him against the wall with a thundering crash. Fragments of metal stabbed into Canderous's bare arms. Canderous threw Carth off him. He swung a roundhouse punch. Carth bent backward and felt Canderous's knuckles swish past his nose. With his right hand Carth threw a punch at Canderous who caught it in his hand. Carth then tried to throw a punch with his left hand but Canderous caught that to, "is that it?" he laughed as he kneed Carth in the groin.

Carth staggered backwards trying to block out the pain. He glared up at Canderous. As the pain quickly numbed away Carth surprised Canderous with an uppercut to the jaw. The two men continued fighting. They kicked, punched, block, dodge and tackled neither of them willing to give up. They continued beating each other until an unseen forced tore them apart throwing them across the room.

"what the hell is going on in here!" cried Shira

As Carth and Canderous stood up Shira raised her hands in their directions freezing them in their place. "Neither of you will be released until you tell me what the hell is going on" she demanded

"this Republican dog is a…" Canderous's shouted

Carth's shouts then drowned out Canderous's, "this Mandalorian bastard insulted my son and my family and…"

"shut up" she shouted

Both of them stopped talking on her command but not willingly. Carth tired to speak but his words disappeared as he felt an invisible grip on his throat beginning to choke him. He stared at Shira her out stretched hands were slowly becoming fists. What is she doing? Is she trying to kill us? No she wouldn't she must not know she doing it His eyes darted to Bastila then Jolee. The two of them caught the panic in his eyes and told Shira to release them she did so with no argument. His head became light as air filled his lungs. He looked towards Shira who was now talking to Jolee. Carth couldn't hear what they were saying as a high pitch ringing in his ear drowned out everything. Before Carth realized it Shira was standing next to him holding him up and taking him towards the medical bay.

As he limped beside her he gazed at her she seem quite calm did she realize she was choking me? He thought if she did she did then she wouldn't be this calm about it would she? No she wouldn't have she still must be getting used to her Force power. She mustn't have realized how strong she is. She wouldn't have tried to choke me… right?

As Carth sat down on the medical bay bed the ringing in his ears had stopped just in time to hear her yell at him

"what the hell were you thinking fighting Canderous" she yelled

"I am a grown man I …"

"well you you're not acting like one"

"what are you my mother?"

"no… but I don't want to see you get hurt"

You would understand why I fought him if you heard what he said to me "look I can fight my own battles"

Shira laughed, "Well of course you can fight your own battles but I didn't think you were stupid enough to take on a Mandalorian in a fist fight you are half his size"

Carth pouted but remained silent she right but I couldn't let what he said slide I just couldn't

Shira sighed and collected the medipac, "well you were lucky he didn't do more damage to you. But why were you two fighting?"

Carth remained silent

"you know what Carth never mind forget I asked. Now if you don't mind could you lie down so I can check if he broke any bones"

Carth did what she instructed with a smile, "well this is new you patching me up for a change"

Shira laughed, "could you take off your shirt?"

Carth stared at her with a raise eye brow

She just rolled her eyes and said, "So I can check to see if your ribs are broken"

After Carth removed his jacket and shirt Shira check for broken ribs. Her fingers gently ran down his bare chest tracing each rib that she past. Her skin was as soft and light as a feather Carth could feel his body beginning to tremble in desire. He fought to control the one part of his body that could reveal his desire, his lust for her. He gazed up at her calm face god she's beautiful he thought you should kiss her while your both alone he remained still kiss her you fool. Her eyes slowly met his and she smiled. At that one smile his heart began to race and everything around him seem to melt away as he gazed into her eyes.

"you will be glad to hear that you have no broken ribs" she said softly

Carth released his held breath, "so am I okay?"

"well there is some swelling"

Carth hastily glanced towards his groin and then back at her.

Shira seem to notice his hasty glance as she giggled, "no the swelling is in your face where Canderous left you some cuts and bruises"

Carth sighed with relief, "so how long do you think it will take to heal?"

"it depends if I give you kolto the cuts and bruises should heal quickly but the swelling might not go down for a day or two but…" she rubbed her hands nervously

"but?" he said encouraging her to continue

"but… if I use The Force healing technique it should all be healed immediately… hopefully"

"hopefully?"

She looked away from him, "I just learned it and I haven't tested it yet"

Hmm lets see have a swollen face for a few days or be a test subject to Shira new technique… hard choice…well its only healing what harm could it really do? … Carth laughed nervously, "well I have just been in a fight with a Canderous and he didn't kill me so what's the worse thing this Force healing can do"

Shira warmly smiled at him, "okay then let's give it a shot..." she then placed her hands over Carth's face "now just hold still"

Shira gently cupped Carth's cheek with one hand and hovered her other over his eyes. She deeply inhaled as she closed her eyes. Immediately Carth could feel a warm sensation fill him as if warm water slowly flowed across his face healing every thing it touched. He closed his eyes the sensation was extraordinary and he wanted to savor it. Within seconds the warm flow retreated back into Shira's hands and he opened his eyes to see her grinning at him

"It worked my first healing was a success"

Carth smiled softly but notice her hand still cupped his cheek this is your chance kiss her. He covered her hand with his own keeping it on his cheek as he sat up. "thank you" he said as he slid her hand to his lips and kissed her palm tenderly.

Shira blushed, "you don't know if it worked if I'm lying to you to make you feel better"

Carth released her hand and then cupped her cheek, "I know" he leaned in close to her so their lips were almost touching, "but I don't care" he whispered as he yanked her to him and covered her mouth with his in a hungry kiss. She responded immediately, which surprised him but only made him want her more. Her mouth was so warm, the caress of her lips softer than he remembered. He tasted tentatively with his tongue, and Shira opened her mouth with a low moan. Carth pulled her onto his lap as his tongue went deeper into her mouth. She moaned and slowly began to grind against his groin. Shira broke the kiss as she pulled off her robe and pushed him down onto the bed. Carth gazed up at her, lust and affection in his eyes. She was still fully clothed minus the robe and all he could think was damn it why do Jedi's have to wear so many layers of clothes…but still she is so beautiful. Shira began to tenderly kiss him down the neck making her way down his chest. Each kiss sent a jolt of pleasure through his body making his groin become harder. Shira made her way to the top of his pants she looked up at him and smiled as her hands began to undo his belt.

Suddenly the two of them froze as someone banged on the door.

"Padawan do you need help with healing Carth? You two have been in there for a while and I sense something is wrong"

"shit its Juhani!" whispered Shira as she snatched her robe and put it back on

"did you lock the door?" he asked hastily

"yes now put your shirt on and keep your back facing the door you don't want her seeing…" she glanced down at his groin "your rather obvious erection"

"shit" he hissed as he threw on his shirt and jacket turning away from the door as she opened it

Juhani stared at them strangely, "is everything alright Padawan?"

"of course it is Juhani I just healed Carth face" replied Shira

"with The Force?"

"yep"

"marvelous Bastila will be pleased with your progress…now Carth could you turn around so I can how well she did"

Carth took a deep breath and tried to relax himself as he turned his upper body slightly so Juhani could see his face

Juhani smiled, "well done Shira all the cuts, bruises and swelling are gone"

Shira returned the smile, "thank you Juhani I just hope I can heal more difficult wounds in the future"

"you will in time but enough of talking Bastila and Jolee would like you to return to the cargo hold for some more training now"

Shira sighed "tell them I will be right there"

Juhani nodded and left.

Carth let out a huge breath, "that was a close one huh" he said turning fully towards Shira

She chuckled, "I thought we were real trouble there"

Carth couldn't help but laugh, "with Malak and all the Sith in the galaxy chasing as and we are acting like teenagers scared of being caught by the others as if they were our parents"

Shira giggled at the thought, "well I guess it's kind of nice I never got to experience that rush of being caught with a guy by my parents before… well I never had parents or a guy to have that experience"

"Really you must have been with guys before"

Shira smiled, "yeah of course I have been with more then a dozen but all of them were a causal thing"

"Wait… what… how many?" said Carth feeling shocked and slightly intimidated by the number of men

Shira just smiled and kiss him a on the cheek, "well I better go see Bastila before she sends out a search party"

Carth watched her disappear down the hallway leaving him still shocked at the statement she made. Did she say more then a dozen? How many more? She has been with more then a dozen men and I have only been with my wife. Wait she said they were all a causal thing does this mean she has serious feeling for me like I do for her. The thoughts swam through his mind but soon faded away and were replaced by the lingering feeling of Shira lips.

Carth looked out into the hallway, he didn't want to leave the medical bay, he didn't want all his worries and pain about his son and life to return. For that moment that he and Shira were alone and together nothing else mattered, all his worries, pain disappeared. You can't just stay in here forever he thought. Carth sighed "I know" he sniffed the air the sweet smell of Shira hair still filled it "I'm just going to stay a few more seconds". As the smell vanished Carth took a deep breath he had no more excuses to stay so he returned to the cockpit.

A/N: my first attempt at a fist fight hope it is good I just felt that Canderous had finally pushed the wrong button with Carth and Carth felt like punching him for it lol.

And things got a little steamy with Carth and Shira my first real attempt at a moment like that so I hope you like it

Thanks to all those reading and reviewing I always get the inspiration to write more when I see reviews and more people adding this story to their list of favorite so thank you all


	12. Chapter 12 Korriban

Chapter 12 –Korriban

There it was Korriban, the wasteland that the Sith called home. Dustil's here somewhere I have to find him. God knows what he has done as a Sith, I need to get to him, to convince him to leave before he… before he gets killed Carth stared out onto the planet as they landed I promise you Morgana I will find our son I will save him. The Ebon Hawk landed without a fuss it seemed that no one on the docking bay took any notice of them or even cared that they had landed.

"The ego of the Sith thinking that no one would attack them on their own planet" scoffed Carth.

"it is not ego they are right to feel safe no one in the republic is strong enough to take on the Sith at their home planet" remarked Bastila

Carth clenched his fist, "well we'll show them"

"no Carth!" snapped Bastila "it is unwise to go in there and attack. We must be subtle and manipulate them from the inside"

Carth sighed in frustration she's right, damn it she's right

Bastila slowly stood up "Carth when you are ready come to the main hold we all need to talk about our mission here"

Carth nodded as she left the room, screw this I need to find Dustil and fast I don't have time for pointless talk

-()-()-

Carth was once again the last one to arrive at in the main hold for he was the only pilot which made the process of shutting the ship down even longer. Carth rolled his eyes as he saw Bastila, Juhani and Jolee all standing together in front of the crew typical all three want to take the lead I can tell this is going to take a long time. All three were motioning for Shira to stand with them but she just shook her head. Carth was some what relieved to see this at least she is still staying the same person and not letting all that power go to her head.

Bastila cleared her throat, "Now this is a dangerous situation that we are in. As we all know we are on Korriban the Sith planet. Our main mission is to find the Star Map. Shira and I have had a shared vision that it is located somewhere in the ruins. The only entrance into those ruins is through the Sith academy"

"we have to be subtle and blend in with the Sith. We have to be able to get in and out without them knowing who we are" interjected Jolee.

"that won't be to hard Davik brought the Ebon Hawk here before so none of these Sith will bother us" grunted Canderous

Bastila nodded in agreement and then continued, "I will not be able to join you on this mission as the Sith know what I look like"

"Jolee and I have discussed and decided to stay on the ship with Bastila so we can mask her Force presents with our own so no high ranking Sith can sense her" explained Juhani

Carth was getting irritated with all this talk he just wanted to go find Dustil and get him out of here, "look this is all well and good but we are wasting our time talking lets just go and storm the Sith academy"

Bastila sighed, "I know you are eager to find your son but as I said to you before we can't just run in there and attack"

"Besides Carth" scoffed Canderous, "it is a waste of our time to search for your pathetic excuse for a son"

Shut up you asshole just shut up Carth tried to remained calm not letting his anger show as Canderous continued

"he is a Sith so if I even see him in there I will make sure you two never get your heart warming reunion"

That's it you bastard he thought as he pulled out his pistol and aimed at Canderous, "I have had enough of you I'm going to do what I should have done long before"

Canderous laughed, "oh so you didn't learn before. Come on then give it your best shot"

"Please violence is not the answer" pleaded Juhani

Carth couldn't control his anger he had enough of Canderous. Carth glanced at Shira she stared at him blankly her hand on her lightsaber. I can't do it not in front of her Carth lowered his pistol.

"Ha you can't even fight for your honor some warrior you are." Sneered Canderous "Here let me show you what a true warrior would have done". Canderous rapidly stood up pulling out his hidden pistol and fired at Carth.

Carth waited for the impact of the shot as every thing seemed to slow down. He watched from the corner of his eye as Shira jolted towards him, her lightsaber drawn. She stood in front of him like a shield, what is she doing? Time returned to normal as the shot hit her lightsaber reflecting off it and hitting the wall behind them. Carth stood motionless she saved me. He tried to speak but Shira drowned him out

"what the hell do you think your doing Canderous?" she cried

"oh calm down it wouldn't have killed him" Canderous said calmly

"I don't care! You do not attack a fellow crew member. I let your little fist fight pass but I will not have you firing a weapon on my ship. For this mission you are to stay on the ship."

"What!" protested Canderous, "I was looking forward to cracking some Sith skulls"

Shira pointed her lightsaber at him, "If you don't do what I tell you I will do more than crack your skull. I will slice off each and every one of your limbs and leave you in the dunes of Tatooine to suffer and die"

Everyone was silent for a moment Carth just stared at Shira in shock he deserves that but that is cruel for Shira. Carth glanced at the three Jedi's, Bastila and Jolee looked more shocked then everyone else. They even seem scared of that small comment from her.

Canderous plunked himself back down on his chair, "fine I will stay on the ship and I won't attack Carth again"

Shira glared at the three Jedi's, "if all of you are quiet done talking we will head out tomorrow morning I will decided the ground team later" and with that she swiftly left the room.

Bastila had a look of panic in her eyes as she stared at Jolee and Juhani. She turned and nodded to the others, "dismissed"

Straight away everyone but Canderous, HK-47 and Carth scattered.

"Statement: oh how I do like the master suggestion of kill the Mandalorian meatbag"

"shut up" growled Canderous

"mocking statement: oh did I hurt the Mandalorian meatbag's feeling"

Canderous ignored HK-47, "that was a new side of her… I think she is become a fearsome creature… I like it"

Carth glared at Canderous, "well I don't. It doesn't seem right she is not like that, she's not that dark"

"statement: my scans do not detect any difference in the master's brain. It is not a mental change that you meatbag tend to have"

Canderous stood up, "maybe she is just sick of acting like a nice person… but either way I don't care" without another word Canderous left

This isn't like her what is going on maybe she is angry and upset that we are back on Korriban. Maybe now that we are here her desire for revenge over her brother's death is consuming her. Or is this that darkside the Jedi's talk about, maybe it is closing in on her. Either way I have to keep my eye on her I know something is wrong.

-()-()-

The next morning as Carth made his way to the engine room to do his daily repair check he notice Bastila and Jolee quietly arguing in the cargo hold. Carth thought it was strange as it was still early and usually no one else was awake at this time but him. Carth quietly stood next to the entrance and listened.

"look I know you know you. You are wise enough to sense it so I must protest about her going into the Sith academy who knows what the taint of the darkside will do to her" argued Bastila

"I sense a memory is clouding her emotions at this point in time which drove her to have that short temper. Just because she showed anger yesterday does not mean she is falling to the darkside." sighed Jolee

"remember the code there is no emotion there is peace"

"do not give me a lecture on the code youngster I have been a Jedi far longer than you. I know what the darkside looks like"

"I can sense something is wrong through my link with her"

"There is something wrong the taint of this planet is affecting us all. She is just learning her powers of course the lure of the darkside will affect her it is why we must make this mission quick"

"we can't let her leave the ship"

"enough young Padawan! She will be fine"

"but Jolee…"

"enough! the only one in danger of falling is you. You are too headstrong. We have agreed for you to stay on the ship with us protecting you. Shira will be fine she has her friends who will keep her head leveled. If she takes Carth I do not doubt that his presents will be enough for her to resist the darkside"

"why Carth?"

"do you not sense it?"

"I do but I can not allow it she is a Jedi"

"As well as a human. Like all humans she is allowed to make mistakes and she is allowed to feel"

"but what if that simple feeling makes her turn again"

Turn again? Carth shook his head in disgust damn Jedi's always hiding things from us, things that could put Shira in danger. Carth stepped into the entrance of the room and cleared his throat. Bastila and Jolee turned to face him their eyes wide

Carth glared at them, "I don't know what you guys are hiding but by the sounds of it you are putting Shira in danger…" Jolee tried to speak but Carth put his hand up to stop him "I don't care about your reasons I just want her to be safe. I don't know much about what the darkside does to Jedi's but while we are in that academy I will make sure nothing will happen to her"

Bastila smiled, "Carth how much of that did you hear?"

"enough"

Jolee smiled, "no doubt you heard our reference to you"

Carth nodded

"well than boy all there is to say is make sure you look after her down there"

"yes thank you Carth for wanting to protect her" whispered Bastila who was clearing uncomfortable in saying that.

Carth said nothing and left the room I'm not doing it for you I am doing it for her. She has been through enough her brother died here for Christ sake.

-()-()-

They had made it into the academy without any problems Shira had manage to convince Yuthura who was the apprentice of the academy's headmaster that Carth was a slave and HK-47 was her assistance droid. Carth couldn't help but smile at the idea of being Shira's slave of all the things she could have said, she said that I was her slave. Once they were in the academy they met the headmaster Uthar who told them that they needed to gain more prestige than the other students to take the final test and see the Star Map. Carth was hoping that they could be in and out of this place as soon as possible but with this talk of gaining prestige it sounded like they were going to be there more than a day. As Shira stood talking to Uthar Carth scanned the room, Dustil could be anywhere how the hell am I going to be able to find him without drawing attention to myself…he was snapped out of his thoughts as Shira motioned him to follow her.

For the rest of that day they were running through the Valley of Dark Lords going into different tombs and Carth was overjoyed when they returned to their room in the academy. Carth crashed on the bed and groaned in relief "it feels so good to get off my feet"

"Statement: another flaw that you meatbag have. You all wear out quiet fast"

Shira stood by the door of their room and in a low voice said, "Don't get at all comfortable I don't want to be stuck here with all these Sith more than I have to"

Carth sat up and stared at her, "neither do I but…"

Shira cut him off "you two stay here while I go and present Uthar with Yuthura plan to betray him as well as the things we did in the tombs"

"Shira I don't think you should go alone"

"just stay here Carth!" shouted Shira as she left the room

"Query: why is it that the master has become more hostile since we have landed?"

Carth stared at the ground he didn't know why but he could see her becoming crueler as they had stayed longer on Korriban is it the taint of the darkside that is consuming her like Bastila and Jolee feared. Since they had stepped off the ship there was an immediate change in Shira. She looked around and seem like she was deeply lost in a memory. The first moment Carth noticed her cruelty was on the port. They had run into a Sith yelling at three Sith hopefuls, he was asking them questions which they seem to be answering wrong and once he notice Shira he asked her how he should punish them. Carth notice a sinister smile creep onto her lips as she told him to kill them. Carth watched in horror as the Sith electrocuted the three hopefuls and Shira seem to enjoy it. Later they ran into more Sith who threatened them HK-47 seemed to relish in the challenge but Shira just smiled, insulted them and then threatened there lives. It was like she wanted an excuse to kill them. Even after that the way she spoke and the actions she took in the academy were a lot darker than usual. Carth tried to talk to her, to calm her down, to question her about her behavior but he never got the chance.

Ten or twenty minutes had past until Shira returned to the room, "well I talk to Uthar told him what we had done and now we have enough prestige to continue into the final test"

Carth furrowed his brow, "what just like that no hidden catch or anything?"

"well at the end of the final test we have to kill Yuthura" she smiled "and that won't be too hard"

Carth threw his arms in the air in disbelief, "what the hell is wrong with you lately. Ever since we landed on this planet you have been eager to kill everything in sight"

Shira crossed her arms, "I don't know what you are talking about"

"Bullshit that is complete bullshit. Here I am putting my trust in you, trusting someone in a long time and you turn around and act like this. What is happening to you?" he shouted

"statement: the meatbag is right you have had an erratic change in behavior"

Shira glared at them, "so what? So what if I don't care about killing these Sith scum they deserve it!"

"at what cost to yourself! You are becoming one of them by acting that way!"

She stared at the ground clenching her fist, "how dare you say that I am acting like them. How do you think I feel? I am stuck on this planet… this planet where my brother was killed… and I… and I have to pretend like I am one of them"

Carth was silent he suddenly felt ashamed of what he said "Shira I…"

"so yeah Carth I am acting like a Sith but every face I see in this place reminds me of my brother's murder's and all I want to do is kill them all. You can handle being here everywhere you look you are hoping to see Dustil but me… I am barley able to hold myself together and if getting through this means I have to act vicious and cruel to them than that's what I am going to do"

"but Shira what about…"

"enough" she whispered as she left the room

Carth sighed look what you have done now he thought

"annoyed statement: you have now angered the master. Delighted statement: I do recall she once commanded that I shoot you if you piss her off" HK aimed his gun at Carth for a moment and then lowered it, "Statement: shooting you would compromise the mission and make her more upset. For some reason she favors you meatbag above the rest of them" he looked towards the door, "Statement: I shall follow the master and be sure she is safe you stay here"

Carth didn't move a muscle as HK left the room. As Carth sat alone he couldn't help but wonder I knew that her brother's death would be affecting her while we are here but I just didn't think it would affect this much. Is she really acting this way to keep herself from breaking down or is it more than that, is it the darkside? She seems so lost in thought like more has happened to her here then she's letting on…he sighed out of all the people to trust and I trust her, and I will have to trust that she will return to her old self once we leave Korriban. Carth then lay on the spare bed that was placed out for him and waited for Shira to return.

-()-()-

Carth awoke the next morning to see Shira was gone. Carth jumped out of his bed in a panic. He turned to HK-47 "where is Shira?"

"statement: the master has gone off to the final test. She has informed me that she was forbidden for us to accompany her, she explained it was the Sith tradition."

"how long has she been gone for?"

"statement: well over two hours"

Carth snatched up his jacket and ran to the door "we have to go find her!"

"statement: that would be unadvisable I have been ordered to keep you in this room until she returns, she stated that she knew you would follow her and she could not allow it"

Carth stood in front of the door he turned and sighed so this is why she brought the damn droid to keep me under control

HK-47 head sharply turned towards the door "statement: my sensors have located the master she is returning to this location she will arrive in several seconds"

Carth turned towards the door as it slid open. He smiled at Shira and waved awkwardly as she looked up at him from the door way, "hello"

"hi" she grunted as she brushed past him

"did you find the Star Map?" he asked

"yes"

"are you alright?"

"yes"

What is with the short answers? "so what did you do about Yuthura?"

"I killed her it was either kill her or Uthar and if I killed Uthar I would have had the whole academy coming after us and I… couldn't put you in danger"

Carth smiled, he was still worried about her but he couldn't help but feel happy at the thought that she did something to protect him. He gazed at her scanning her from top to bottom. His smile faded away when he saw large slash marks in her robe, it was stained in blood. "Shira what happened to you?"

Shira look at him strangely, "what do you mean?" she then looked at her robe "oh that I ran into a Sith called Darth Bandon he was Malak's apprentice. Apparently Malak sent him to kill me after Calo Nord failed to"

Carth mouth was slightly agape and a mixture of emotions filled him, anger, shock, fear. These emotions took control as he spoke, "see this is why you take us with you, and not leave us in a room while you're out there being attacked! He could have killed you! He was Darth Malak's apprentice for damn sake!' he shouted

Shira rolled her eyes and walk towards him, "calm down Carth I was fine. Darth Bandon is dead and I am sure that will send a message to Malak"

"I know you're strong but you have to stop being stupid and let us help you. I hoped that now you are a Jedi you wouldn't get that Jedi ego but I was…" Carth words disappeared as Shira kissed him.

The kiss was short but tender and Shira quickly pulled away as she said, "now before you lecture and yell at me some more I thought I would tell you that I found him"

The first thought that jumped into his mind was Dustil "when?… how did you find him?"

Shira frowned, "yesterday after we yelled at each other and I left the room. I wondered around the academy and I over heard someone talking to him in the training room and when he left I followed him to his room"

"why didn't tell me sooner?"

"I knew talking to him could be dangerous so I figured we see him last before we leave. That way it is safer for us and for him if we get caught or if he rats us out"

"you think he would rat us out?"

"he is a Sith Carth and I don't trust Sith"

Carth eyes wondered to the ground she is right he is a Sith so trusting Dustil would be unwise but he is my son I have to talk to him… I can't believe after all these years I can see him and talk to him… I just hope it's not too late and I can help him.

"Carth?" asked Shira when Carth failed to speak for several seconds

"take me to him" was all he could say

Shira nodded her head and lead him towards Dustil's room

I wonder how much he has grown. He must be a man by now. I wonder if he will recognize me. I wonder if I will recognize him. I found him Morgana I found our son.

-()-()-

Carth stood outside Dustil's room this is it he thought time to face my son. Carth turned to Shira and nodded and then they entered the room

At the end of the room stood Dustil, Carth recognized him straight away. Dustil was tall and had similar features as himself but as he looked at Dustil's face he could see Morgana shinning through his eyes.

Dustil notice their arrival and growled, "You take a wrong turn somewhere?"

Sheer happiness filled Carth at the sound of his sons voice, "Dustil is that you?"

Dustil glared at Carth "oh lovely… its father… figures you'd show up after all this time. How did you manage to get inside the academy?"

"Does it matter? We're here now" replied Shira before Carth could

Dustil raised an eye brow, "maybe it doesn't matter or maybe Master Uthar would be interested knowing just what kind of company he has present here. Just why are you here father? Not for me I hope couldn't you got yourself blown up on some ship and spared us this reunion."

Carth happiness vanished why isn't he happy that I am here? And what does he mean he hope I am not here for him? What have these Sith done to him? "Dustil what… what are you talking about I thought you were dead"

Dustil glare intensified, "too bad you didn't still think that, or did you really think that I'd be happy to see you. Look everyone" he mocked "it's father come to rescue me at long last sure he may have left mother and I to die on Telos but that doesn't matter"

Carth felt his heart sink, "no I didn't abandon you the task force just arrived to late. Telos was in ruins and your mother" the memory flashed into his head "I… I held her while…" Carth couldn't continue on that thought, "but I looked for you I swear I looked everywhere" please Dustil believe me

"ah save it!" shouted Dustil, "you abandon us long before. We were alone all during the wars and even once you came back you still didn't stay."

Carth glanced away in shame, "I didn't have a choice I was needed…"

"yeah" interrupted Dustil, "well you were needed at home to. You were needed when the bombing started and I got captured…" Dustil sighed "you know what it doesn't matter… not anymore. I have a new family now, a family that cares about me. I don't need you."

Carth glared at Dustil "the Sith? You cant mean that no… no the Sith killed your mother. The Sith destroyed Telos"

"so you are the solider father how many mothers have you killed?"

"no you've been brainwashed the son I knew would never…"

"you never knew me!" Dustil shouted "you weren't even there to get to know me so don't presume to tell me what I would or wouldn't do!"

"I don't know what's been done to you but you are coming with me out of here now" Carth took a step forward

Dustil pulled out his pistol and aimed it at him, "touch me old man and I'll kill you. Get out! Get out of here before I tell the Sith that you're here"

Shira then stepped between them facing Dustil. She gave him one of her sweet smiles and said, "calm down, Dustil. Carth is only trying to protect you."

Dustil glare softened as he glanced at Shira "I don't need his protection not anymore. The Sith give me everything I need."

"you cant mean that" pleaded Carth "The Sith they are… they're evil… they're the darkside. They took me away from you and your mother. Their what took you from me"

"no, they are not evil they're not! The darkside is superior. You… you were at war long before they came along"

Why wont he listen to me. "The Sith war to conquer, to rule the helpless. I went to war for you Dustil, for your freedom and your future"

Dustil chuckled, "ha I don't believe you"

"if I failed you son then it's my failure please don't add to it by becoming part of something evil"

Dustil stopped glaring at Carth, "prove it! Prove that the Sith are so evil and I'll think about it"

Shira glanced back at Carth and then at Dustil, "how can we prove something like that"

Dustil seemed to relax slightly and Carth hoped on some level Dustil believed him. Dustil didn't take his eyes off Shira "I'll stay right here I wont tell anyone that you're here for now. You find some proof and you bring it to me. If I hear you asking questions about me or doing a single thing to jeopardize my position in the Sith I swear I'll tell everyone what your up to." He then shot a glare at Carth "You got that father? You prove what you're saying is true, I'm not going anywhere otherwise"

Carth sighed, "I got it Dustil… I'll be back I swear it"

Shira turned to Carth and indicated to leave. As they exit the room Shira whispered, "follow me I know where we can find some proof"

They had snuck into Master Uthar's room and found a datapad that talked about one of Dustil's friend being disposed of. Carth knew that this was proof enough for Dustil that the Sith were evil but he still felt nervous about Dustil reaction.

Once they returned to Dustil's room he stared at each one of them thoughtfully before saying, "back already? So tell me father where's this proof you promised"

Shira remained silent as Carth pulled out the datapad and began to talk, "I have a datapad I want you to look at. You knew someone named Selene?"

Dustil's eyes widened, "Selene? She's the one who convinced me to come to the academy with her, why?" Carth handed the datapad to Dustil "where did you get this?"

"look at it. It belongs to Master Uthar doesn't it?"

Dustil stared at the datapad reading it, "yes it is but he… he told me… he said that she'd been lost on a mission in the valley this… this says that they…"

"killed her because she was hindering your progress. Superiority at any cost Dustil. There's your evil or can you live with that?"

"no… no I cant I… I had no idea… they lied to me"

Carth smiled, "well there's the son I remember. Now will you leave here?"

Dustil looked up at Carth, "I… no… you go do whatever you have to father I have some other friends here. I have to warn them about what's going on and maybe I can you know… look around here and find out some more information, from the inside something that might help you"

Carth walked towards Dustil, "I don't suppose there's anyway I can talk you out of that is there? I mean you're not going to do anything halfway" he sighed, "sounds familiar"

For the first time Dustil smiled, "I guess it does"

"I'm proud of you Dustil. You weren't hanging onto a lie after you see it for what it is not everyone can do that"

"maybe after this is all over we can…" Dustil took a deep breath "talk. I'm still not sure about us but I'll listen maybe we can get back to where we should have been"

"well I'd like that'

"I'll go back to Telos when this is all over, you can find me there. Goodbye father"

"goodbye son and good luck"

The two of them awkwardly hugged and Carth felt a huge weight on his shoulder lift. I did it he's my son again Carth had to stop himself from crying after all these years he's alive and I found him.

Once they left Dustil's room Shira hugged Carth and smiled, "come on" she said "let get back to the ship"

-()-()-

As Carth got the ship ready for take off, Shira sat down quietly next to him.

Shira "hey Carth?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you think you'll see Dustil again?"

Carth stopped and stared out the window, "I think so. If he is anything like he used to be Dustil hates to be tricked, there's no way he'll let the Sith trick him again." Carth sighed, "As for whether he'll be my son again, I don't know… he's so full of anger and hate… I wasn't expecting him to be like this. Well maybe we can work it out, I hope so I… I guess I'll just have to wait and see" Carth smiled at Shira warmly and took her hand "But thanks by the way for all your help".

Shira smiled, "your welcome… I just wished I could find my brother killers and get the peace that you got today when finding Dustil."

"Shira…"

Shira grinned, "its okay Carth. My ultimate revenge will be when Malak dies and those smug Sith's have their empire crumble beneath them. But for now I will tell everyone to get ready for take off"

Before Carth could say anything Shira jolted out of the room. As she left, he couldn't help but feel this lingering dark force floating in the space where she just stood. Carth shook his head. He knew something was wrong. The taint of the darkside? maybe it's not just a story to scare Jedi maybe it's real. Maybe it's the real reason why Shira acted so cruel. Why Dustil was so consumed with anger. In any case, we have to get out of here before things get worse.


	13. Chapter 13 Trip to Manaan

A/N: As I write this I want to be faithful to the dialog between Carth and Shira (Revan) that is in the game. So I am determined to add all of their game dialog in.

Chapter 13 – Trip to Manaan

Carth gazed lovely at a holopic of his family. The holopic was old and the face of his wife had faded and was almost completely gone, but he still smiled at it. Until now, Carth was afraid to look at the picture, he felt so ashamed for losing them. But now that he had found Dustil he could feel his shame fade away. All that was left to do was to kill Saul and he would finally be at peace. Carth smiled as he stared at his wife, "You should have seen him Morgana he has grown up so fast. He has your eyes" Carth chuckled "of course he has your eyes he has always had them…. I wish you were there when I found him, some of the things he said… he was so angry… but he was right… I'm so sorry for abandoning you… I was only trying to make the galaxy safer for you… I'm so sorry…" a small tear trickled down Carth's cheek, "I'm so sorry". He wiped the tear away as he placed the holopic back into his jacket pocket. He went to leave the room but when he opened the door he found Mission standing at the entrance. "Mission what are you doing here?"

"I ah… Bastila sent me to ask you how long until we reach Manaan"

Carth raised his brow in suspicion, "tell her we will be there in a day or two"

"Ah… okay" she blurted out as she quickly turned to leave.

"Mission wait! What is the real reason you're here?"

She stopped and turned to him, "what do you mean? Bastila sent me" she said defensively

"Mission I have had a son I know when a child is lying to me"

"I am not a child"

Carth frowned slightly

"Okay… I came to say that…" she paused seemly trying to find the right words "I came to say that your son is a jerk and he shouldn't have been so rude to you"

Carth looked surprised, "did Shira tell you?"

"Yes but not a lot just that he wasn't happy to see you"

"My son was angry at me he…"

"That's no excuse" Mission shouted "if I had a chance to see my parents again I would not have been angry at them. No matter what they did"

"Mission are you okay?"

She frowned "yes I am fine. I am just saying that he had no reason to be angry at you, you did nothing wrong."

"Thank you Mission I…"

"And when he sees you again he better be happy or else I will teach him a thing or two"

Carth laughed, "Well next time I see him I will be sure to bring you along so you can tell him that"

"I'm not kidding"

"I know" Carth smiled, "you remind me of him when he was younger. I think if you two met you would both get along quite well"

Mission smiled "we'll see if I meet him" Mission then turned to leave "oh Carth, Shira is sitting alone in the main hold if you want to go and talk to her" Mission then giggled and left.

-()-()-

As Carth entered the main hold he found Bastila and Shira in a rather heated argument. Well either Mission was lying about Shira being alone or Bastila had come to lecture her some more.

"As a young Jedi in training, you should study the Jedi's of the past. You need to study them to gain their wisdom in their decisions of choosing peace instead of war" snapped Bastila

Carth rolled his eyes yep she has come to lecture Shira. Predictable Jedi

"Look Bastila, I was a smuggler long before I was a Jedi so I know a fair few things about the galaxy. I don't need to study" hissed Shira

"That type of arrogance is what leads to the darkside"

"My arrogance! You should really listen yourself sometimes"

"And what you should listen to is the Council's wisdom and wishes for you to study"

Carth could see that Shira was having a hard time keeping control of her temper. He knew that he had to intervene before Shira cut Bastila head off. "Bastila" he called. The two women focused their sights on him. Great work genius. You now have their attention and broke up their fight, but you have nothing to say. Carth was silent they are staring at you think of something to say, something that will change the topic. Carth was silent for to long so Bastila and Shira returned to glaring at each other. Say something now anything "Bastila, did you ever think about joining all the Jedi who were running off to follow Revan and Malak when they went to fight the Mandalorians?" that it? You couldn't ask her about mission details or something along those lines that's all you could come up with to distract her. Now you are going to get a lecture from her about the war, a lecture that is not nearly far enough away from their previous conversation.

Bastila returned her gaze to Carth and frowned slightly, "that was nearly five years ago. I was still an apprentice; my Battle Meditation hadn't even manifested itself." Then she turned her glare onto Shira, "yet even then I had the wisdom to obey the will of the Council." Her glared seem to deepen, "Unlike Revan"

She's back to glaring at Shira keep the conversation going, "I guess. Still do you ever wonder if things could have been different? Would Revan and Malak still have been corrupted if the Council had supported them instead of dragging its feet?"

Shira smiled slightly at Carth's comment and Bastila moved her glare back onto him, "Do not blame Revan's corruption on the Council! Your Republic saw only the threat of the Mandalorians, but the wisdom of the masters saw beyond the immediate threat"

"Sounds like you're just making excuses, Bastila" Shira snidely commented

Bastila ignored Shira and continued, "There was something lurking out there, something that devoured Revan and Malak, and many other Jedi. Had the Council sent us all into the unknown, how many more would have fallen"

Carth clenched his fist, "so you're saying we should have down nothing? Just let the Mandalorians conquer us unopposed? I mean the Republic was under attack, and the Order abandoned us!

Bastila sighed, "We did not abandon you! But the Council were not about to throw lives away foolishly."

What! Throw away lives foolishly! What about all the soldiers who fought to save their families? Was that foolish of them! He thought

"In time we would have aided you against the Mandalorians. But you couldn't wait, Revan and Malak offered a quicker answer, and the Republic chose to walk the easy path rather than the path of wisdom."

The easy path! What we did wasn't easy! Revan and Malak saved many lives by helping the Republic!

"Now we see the results all around us. You asked me if I think things could have been different. I know they could have been! If Revan had only listened to the Council, millions of innocent people would still be alive"

"Yeah, right. And every single one of them would be speaking Mandalorian." He said through gritted teeth. I knew I was going to get a lecture from the egotistic little Jedi

Bastila then turned to Shira, "you can learn from what I just said young Padawan, about listening to the wisdom of the Council instead of being rash and going off to wars"

Shira glanced at Carth and he could see how angry she was, "you know Bastila I am done listening to you right now. As you can see I am not running off to wars and doing any dark deeds. I am following my orders from the Council. I am searching for the Star Maps. So if you do not mind, I have just come off the planet where my brother was killed. I managed not to give into my argues for revenge and kill every single Sith down there. True I did things and acted in a certain way which I don't fully understand why and so you know I am not to proud of it. But if you don't mind, not only have you crossed the line with me, I suspect you have done the same with Carth"

Bastila glared at Shira and then in a huff she stuck up her nose and left.

"stuck up little bitch" growled Shira.

"I couldn't agree more" replied Carth

Shira weakly smiled and then said, "I need a drink. Come on I think I still have half a bottle of Menkooro whiskey in the cockpit. Care to join me?"

Before Carth could reply Shira seized his arm and dragged him towards the cock-pit.

-()-()-

Carth couldn't help but smile as he heard Shira enchanting laugh. The two of them had been sitting in the cock-pit for several hours talking and laughing, their anger towards Bastila had completely disappeared. Carth found it strange though, at the amount of question Shira asked him about the Manalorian war. It was as if she wasn't around during it. Each story he would tell her, she would get a blank expression on her face, as if she was trying to recall a forgotten memory.

"What do you know about Revan and Malak?" she asked

Carth sighed and leaned back in his chair, "to think that I once looked up to those two as the best that humanity had to offer." Carth smiled and pulled out his pistol, "now I'd like nothing more than to put a blaster to both their heads." Carth notice Shira slightly shivered at those words, however she seem unaware of it. Carth put his pistol away and continued, "Although I suppose only Malak is left, isn't he? Turned on his own master, not that Revan didn't have it coming. Heh. Typical for their kind, I guess."

Shira shook her head, "how did they get away with all this?"

"well… when they returned from where ever they went, they had an entire fleet with them. Nobody knows where they got the ships. They had a lot of them and as the years have passed there always seems to be more and more… while" his face went grim "our forces dwindled. Did they really get away with it, though? Revan was betrayed by Malak… and Malak hasn't won. In the end, the darkside won't help him"

"do you know why they turned to the darkside?"

"nobody does. When they left after the Mandalorian wars ended, they were Jedi. When they returned… they were something else"

Shira leaned in closer to Carth, "you knew them personally?"

Me? Know Revan and Malak of course not. "No, not personally. They aided the Republic during the Mandalorian wars. They were heroes. Without them, the Mandalorians would have finished us for certain. In the fleet, we didn't see much of Jedi. I only met Malak once, but I was impressed by him" Carth then glared at the floor, "I guess that just shows how much the darkside can change someone"

Shira leaned away from Carth and took a swig from the bottle of Menkooro whiskey before asking, "what do you know about the darkside?"

Odd question for her to ask, "I, uh… used to think it was a fancy name for something that I see everyday. Corruption is everywhere. People are greedy and stupid and do horrible things." Carth gazed into Shira's eyes; he could see something different in them, something almost dark that wasn't there before. "I'm starting to think it's different for the Jedi, however. That there's this evil watching them, waiting for its chance." Carth took Shira hands and held onto them tightly, "you have so much courage and strength in you… yet, somehow, I have no trouble imagining it differently. Like the flip side of a coin." Shira looked scared and Carth left go of her hands, "It's Bastila as well" he reassured her, "she's so… intense. I don't pretend to know much about the Force… but I know evil."

For some reason Shira look ashamed as she whispered, "you think Bastila and I are evil?"

"no, of course not." He blurted out, "all I'm saying is that when you have so much power, the stakes are higher. I can only imagine the kind of conflict that goes on inside you. Neither you nor Bastila are fully trained on how to handle your power. I'm just concerned at what might come."

Shira giggled and smiled "that's sweet. I didn't know you cared."

Carth could feel his cheeks growing hot, oh course I care about you. "well, that's not what I… I mean…" what? Yes of course that's what you mean! Why are you denying it? "I wouldn't want to see you hurt" good now tell her you care, "either of you" what? Now she might think you care about Bastila! Stop talking man before you make this worse. "I suppose finding the Star Maps is more important than your training… and your safety. I just hope there isn't a price for you to pay".

Shira smiled and looked away from Carth. The two of them sat in silence for what seemed like hours. Carth tried to focus on something else other then the grim memory of war. But as his mind began to wonder away as he stared out into hyperspace. His thoughts eventually turned to his wife. He thought back to his dream about his wife, she was faceless in the dream. He thought back to the picture he had of her, her face had faded away in it. Carth could feel this gnawing guilt inside of him. Maybe I shouldn't feel this way towards Shira, maybe that's the reason I can't remember my wife's face. Just the thought made his heart sink, god I can't remember her face, I remember her eyes only because Dustil has them, but why can't I remember her face?

"Carth?"

He glanced at Shira "hmmm?"

"you seem like you're far away. Is something wrong?"

Carth brought his thought back to Shira question, "oh… it's nothing. Sorry." it is not nothing! you care about Shira but you still love your wife. You're losing your wife because of your feelings for Shira.

"it doesn't seem like nothing"

Carth sighed you know she wont stop asking until you tell her "I told you my wife died four years ago. I… I've been trying to remember what she looked like. It shouldn't be so difficult. I can remember things about her… things she did. The way she smiled, what her hair smelled like, our last fight… just not her face. I try to hold it in my head but it's gone. Is that strange? Maybe I shouldn't be talking to you about this."

Shira smiled and placed her hand on his, "no, it's not strange, Carth. You remember the important things."

Carth threw his hands in the air, "but… I should be able to remember her face. It's frustrating! I…" pain washed over him "feel like I'm losing her." Carth stared at the ground. He wanted to stop talking about this. It was too painful. He glanced up at Shira who gazed at him kindly "I, uh… it must look really strange for me to be obsessing like this, still." He sighed "you must think I'm incredibly stupid"

Shira softly placed her hand on his shoulder, "no, but I doubt you wife would want you to do this to yourself."

"I… suppose you're probably right." Carth paused and tried to remember her face, but like always it slipped away from him. He clenched his fist and looked up at Shira "but I have to do it, anyway. The only thing that's kept me going since she died has been the need to find Saul and kill him. It's better to think about that than…anything else" that's not true, thinking about Shira and forgetting the pain is far better. "If I can do that, then maybe I can let her go. Let it all go" and then maybe you can finally accept how you truly feel for Shira. Carth released the tension in his fist and placed his hand over Shira's "if we encounter Saul… if we ever have the chance, promise me that I will be the one to kill him. I have to settle this… I need to."

Shira was silent for a long moment. She seem uneasy in promising him this, but then finally she softly smiled, "if we get the opportunity… then I promise"

Carth smiled and pulled her towards him embracing her. "Thank you" he whispered as he hugged her.

"You don't have to thank me; if I had the chance I would do the same for my brother Bane. I understand your pain" she whispered. Shira then pushed away from him slightly so she could gaze into his eyes. "When I was young and grieving over our parents, he would take me in his arms and say 'Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal' since his death I have kept that close to my heart. I hope… that it might help you."

Carth gazed into her eyes, they shined like the stars. He was enchanted by her. Even when he spoke about his wife she did not shy away, she comfort him. She did not give any false sympathy, she just understood. He admired her on so many levels. It was getting harder for him to fight his feeling for her. Every time he looked at her he would get butterflies in his stomach and his heart would feel light. This mission that they were on was becoming more important to him. He felt that need to protect, to make things safer for the people he cared most for. Maybe I have a purpose after revenge as long as Shira is with me.

"Carth?"

"Hmmm?"

"You seemed lost in thought again"

Carth rubbed his eyes pretending to be tired, "it has been a long day I best go off to bed"

As Carth stood up Shira remained still.

"Are you alright Shira?"

Shira glanced up at Carth, "yes, it is nothing"

"Are you sure?" he asked

She jumped up out of her chair, "yes I'm just tired like you that's all." As she made her way to the door she took Carth's hands and kissed him on the cheek, "I had a nice time talking to you"

He smiled, "so did I and thank you"

"I don't suppose we will be arriving in Manaan anytime soon"

"no, we shouldn't come out of hyperspace for at least another two days"

Shira face lit up, "wonderful that means we have more time to talk" she then hugged him "I will see you in the morning at breakfast maybe we can talk before Bastila drags me off to do some more training"

Carth chuckled, "sound good"

"It's a date then" she giggled.

Carth watched as Shira left the room, a date? Heh I… sort of like the sound of that. As he made his way down the hall Shira scent lingered in the air. Carth breathed in the enchanting aroma, even with all his doubt about his feeling he allowed himself to smile. He allowed the pleasant memories of Shira lips fill his mind.

A/N: I always wanted to betray Carth as a loyal person (which is how I see him when I play the game and listen to his dialog) so I don't want to jump the relationship too far because I feel he is still loyal to his wife. But because Carth is fighting his feeling he might seem a bit hot and cold when it comes to them so sorry about that I assure you that will stop in the chapters to come when he finds his peace and lets go of his wife


	14. Chapter 14 Captured

Chapter 14 – Captured

The next morning Carth made his way into the main hold. It was still early and he was pleased that no one else had woken up. As the table in the main hold came into view, he saw Shira sitting down eating.

"good morning" she said in an cheerful tone as she saw him enter.

"morning" he replied

Shira passed him a cup of tea as he sat down next to her, "I thought you might like some for when you woke up"

Carth smiled as he took the tea and sipped out of it, "you're up early"

Shira blushed "I was to excited to sleep"

"Excited for what?"

"For this"

Carth grinned taking her hand and lightly pecking it, "so was I"

Shira giggled for a short moment before releasing her hand from him, "Carth? may I ask you something? It has been on mind since last night"

Oh, no she is going to ask more about your wife, "what's on your mind?"

"What happens if you ever get your revenge on Saul?"

Carth sighed with relief but it was short-lived as his mind started racing trying to find an answer to her question, "you mean if I kill him?"

She nodded, "yes. What happens afterwards?"

I…I don't know "I… never thought about it. I suppose I always assumed that I would be dead once Saul was."

Shira furrowed her brow, "why? What kind of risks do you plan on taking?"

She's right. What risk do you plan on taking? You can't just leave her, you care about her… What happened to her being the purpose to live past revenge? "Understand" His answer now focused towards both Shira and himself, "that whenever I envisioned taking on Saul in the past, it was always as the captain of my own ship… or alone. In those cases, I would risk everything. I'm not in the same situation, now. I wouldn't risk hurting you… or the others"

Shira put on a cheeky grin, "I would certainly hope not."

"You don't think I would throw away everything we're doing here, do you?"

Shira smile faded, "I don't know. What wouldn't you stop at to kill Saul?"

Carth paused I wouldn't hurt you, I wouldn't put you in danger "I would like to think that I wouldn't put you in danger" that's because I care about you "that I wouldn't forget that there's more behind Saul that needs to be stopped." The image of Saul's face flashed into his mind and he could feel his rage towards it. "If I saw Saul, however… if I had the chance… I don't know what I would do. I really don't. I mean his death has been my entire focus for so long.

"I need your help, Carth. There's more than Saul to fight"

He timidly smiled, "I know. I'll… see this through. I promise you that. No matter what. As for what comes afterwards… well, let's wait until I know that I'm around to see it"

Shira playfully nudged him, "of course you will be around to see it. Who is going to fly the ship and let me tease them? Sure as hell not Canderous or Bastila."

Carth felt a bit of satisfaction at the idea of Shira wanted him around rather than Canderous, even if it was just to tease him. He laughed, "well I am pretty important, aren't I?"

"there you go. Now come on flyboy you better get some food in that stomach before Zalbaar wakes up and eat it all".

Carth stood to gather some breakfast but before he had moved an inch from the table Shira snatched his arm. He turned and looked at her curiously. She filled the distance between them and rested her body against his. Her lips captured his. He made no move to fight her and parted his lips to allow her tongue access to his. He kiss was passionate as their tongue wrestle for dominance. He could feel his desire harden and she did not ignore it either. Her hands made their way to his groin, slowly stroking it. Carth groaned in pleasure which only drove her to tease him more. Carth wrapped him arms around her waist. The feel of the curves of her body drove him insane. Carth was being bombarded with different sensations and it took all his self control not to throw her down on the table and have his way with her. Suddenly Shira broke the kiss and moved away. Carth let out a low whine of disappointment which only make her smile wickedly. Before Carth had a chance to speak Mission walked into the room. Carth turned to hide and made his way to the food trying not to seem to obvious.

"good morning Mission" Shira said cheerfully.

"morning guys. You sleep okay?" Mission asked through a yawn.

"Never better since we are off that bloody planet"

"I know what you mean Shira that place gave me the creeps"

Shira smiled, "well lets not dwell on it would you like something to eat?" Mission nodded and moved towards where Carth was until Shira stopped her, "Sit down and relax Mission i'll get it for you"

Mission eyed her suspiciously but said nothing and sat. Shira stood next to Carth and gathered some food for Mission. Carth gave her a side glance, "what was that earlier for?"

Shira giggled, "what are you complaining?"

"no I..."

Shira leaned against Carth making it look like to Mission that she was leaning to reach something next to Carth. The scent of her hair captured his senses, "you are evil"

She smiled "And that not the half of it." She lightly tranced her fingers across his hand causing shivers to run down his spine before she turned and joined Mission at the table.

-()-()-

The next few hours flew past pleasantly as Carth, Shira, and Mission ate and talked. As time went by more and more people began to wake up and enter the main hold. Carth reluctantly let Shira go as Bastila forced her off to training. Before Shira left the room she cried back, "Carth after my training we'll keep talking okay"

Carth smiled and allowed himself to be happy as he waited for Shira to return.

-()-()-

While Shira trained, Carth wondered around the ship fixing anything and everything just to past the time. He would routinely wonder by the cargo hold and gaze at Shira but only for a short amount of time, fearing that Jolee or Bastila might notice. As the day slowly began to slip away, Carth made his way into the main hold, sitting down to relax. A short time later, he heard footsteps coming towards him. He looked down the hall and watched as Jolee, Juhani, Bastila, and Shira entered the room. Carth's eyes were fixed on Shira as the four of them made their way to the water to pour themselves a drink. As Shira drank, Carth watched as a small droplet of water slithered from her mouth down her neck. Carth quietly gulped as he tried to push away his desire for her before they became physically noticeable. Shira eyes glanced at him her eyes locking onto his. Carth ripped his sight away from her and acted causal as she walked towards him.

"hey Carth you miss me while I was gone," she asked playfully

A small voice growled in desire in his head you have no idea, "Yeah. There wasn't much to do around the ship and no one to talk to"

"aww isn't that sweet" she teased

Carth just chuckled as Shira sat down next to him.

"you know Carth I have noticed something lately"

"and what is that?" he asked with an raised eyebrow

"you've been watching me very closely as of late. Why is that?"

Carth's eyes widened with shock and embarrassment, "oh. I hadn't thought you'd notice…"

"If you were any more obvious, your eyes would fall out of your head"

"err… I'm not that bad, am I?"

"relax, Carth, I'm only teasing you"

"damn it woman. If you keep hounding me I'm going to put you over my knee and teach you a lesson!"

"is that a promise?" she asked seductively

"oh, no, I'm not even going there, sister. At any rate I wasn't ogling you." well maybe a little "I've just been admiring you. I've been watching you in action. Your skills… you have a natural talent that is incredible. Not that, ah, all I do is watch you or anything."

"Oh? Any other observations?"

Yes. You are beautiful, enchanting, have the sweetest aroma, the most desirable body, your lips are like rose petals, your skin as soft and smooth as silk. At times, I have to stop myself from giving into my hunger for you. However, most importantly when I am with you I forget all my pain. "well… maybe a few, I hope you won't mind if I keep those to myself. I will say one thing, however. We've come a long way with your help. Whether it's the Force, fate, or just dumb luck… I'm glad you're here. We probably would have never made it this far without you. I… should have said this long before, instead of doubting you. I, ah, hope you can forgive me"

"you already apologized once, Carth"

"and you accepted it… but that doesn't mean I'm forgiven. I'd like to be.

"why do you need my forgiveness, anyway?"

"because you're an impressive and beautiful woman. In some ways… good ways… you remind me of my wife and I'd like to make things right between us" So when I take revenge on Saul and finally be able to allow my wife to rest in peace. I want to be able to stop feeling all this doubt and just be with you, no guilt or pain attached.

"you think I'm beautiful?"

Carth chuckled "I'll, ah, take that as a yes. I'm glad that's settled. Shall we… shall we get back to what we were doing?"

"you think I'm beautiful?"

"Shira"

Shira giggled, "okay, okay… look Carth there's something I want to apologize for. But… ah… could do that somewhere private, away from them" she indicated towards the three Jedi's who were now talking amongst themselves

Carth nodded, "sure why don't we talk in the communication room"

Once the two of them made their way into the communication room Shira closed the door. "I wanted to apologize for what I was like on Korriban. I know I said I acted cruel to blend in with the Sith and to stop myself from killing every single one of them, for what they did to my brother. That is all true but there was more to it."

"More?"

"Yes. I don't understand why I acted so cruel but from the first moment we landed on that planet, I felt something creeping into my skull."

"Could it have been the taint of the darkside?"

"That's possible, but I've never felt the darkside, and this feeling I had on Korriban felt so familiar. It was like remembering something you had forgotten from your past, something that was part of you" Shira eyes became distant, "part of me enjoyed it. Enjoyed being cruel and evil, but another part of me was scared and knew that what I was acting like was wrong."

Carth gazed at her what do I say. What if she was corrupted by the darkside? What if she turns on me like Saul did? NO! … She is a good person. She is kind and helped you find Dustil. She is not evil like Saul you know that. Carth took a deep breath, "how are you feeling now?"

"as soon as we left that planet I felt better… but I feel this lingering dread and guilt… so I wanted to apologize for what I was like. I really was not myself, I am sorry"

Carth smiled and hugged her "I forgive you"

Shira looked up at him, her eyes so warm and inviting to Carth. Kiss her. Stop being afraid, you have held her like this before. You have given into your desires before let yourself be happy stop doubting this already. Carth smiled "okay" he said to himself under his breath. As Carth lent down to kiss Shira, the ship began violently shaking.

"what's happening?" cried Shira

"I don't know this. This shouldn't happen while we are in hyperspace"

"do you think we are coming out of hyperspace?"

"That's impossible we shouldn't come out of hyperspace for another day or so." he shouted as he made his way to the door. Carth ran to the cockpit and sat in the pilots chair out of the corner of his eye he saw Bastila sit in the copilot's chair. Carth frantically check the ship status while trying to get control of it. The ship shook again as it left hyperspace. Carth glanced down at the controls checking the ships reading, it appeared they had been intercepted by a Sith interdictor ship. Shit no! This is bad this is really bad!

"what happened? What's going on?" shouted Bastila

"Sith interdictor ship, they must have been waiting for us in the hyperspace route. We're caught in their tractor beam."

"Do you recognize the ship?"

Carth glanced out the window and his heart sank, he knew that ship… Saul, "It's the Leviathan. Saul Karath's vessel" Carth released the ships controls and crossed his arms "my old mentor."

Shira ran into the cockpit "everyone okay. What's happening?"

"we have been intersected by a Sith ship" replied Bastila

"shit what!" she stared at Carth, "Carth can't you get out of their tractor beam"

"no we are stuck" he answered bluntly

"well if we are going to be captured we need to make a plan of escape. Get into the main hold, I will gather everyone else." Shouted Shira as she ran out the door.

-()-()-

Everyone stood around the table in the main hold, each one of them getting tenser by the minute. Everyone remained silent and it was driving Carth insane he knew they had to make a plan and quick. "That is one of the Sith fleets flag ship. Admiral Karath taught me everything I know about being a solider. He was a legend in the Republic fleet, and a hero to me until he betrayed us. When the Sith attacked my home world the Leviathan - which is Saul Karath's flagship - was at the head of the fleet. My family was destroyed that day and my wife died in the Sith bombardment."

Shira glanced at him, "don't do anything you'll regret, Carth"

"I'm not going to do anything stupid. I mean I won't throw our lives away for some mad quest for vengeance. But if I get a chance to kill Saul during our escape nobody better get in my way." I will make sure that he dies today

"Talk of an escape is somewhat premature, don't you think? We don't even have a plan to get out of this mess yet" Bastila stated

"well I'll admit it wont be easy Saul's no fool, he wont underestimate us either. You can count on plenty of guards watching every move we make." Grunted Carth

"Maybe Admiral Karath wont know how many of us are on board. We all have special talents. Talents we can exploit so that one of us can stage a rescue. We just have to figure out who has the best chance to avoid capture so they can come and rescue us later. It's a long shot but it's our only hope." Bastila mentioned with a grim frown.

Shira began to pace, "Admiral Karath will be watching the three of us very closely. One of the other is going to have to save us"

Carth frowned she is right. I was hoping they wouldn't know Shira was on board but the Sith soldiers must have reported seeing the three of us, we have to pick someone else. "well if we're going to pick someone to save our skins we better do it quick. In another minute we're going to have Sith troops marching up our loading ramp."

Shira continue to pace in silent before announcing, "Juhani, you can use your Force powers and camouflage abilities to avoid capture."

Juhani nodded, "you speak the truth. I alone of all the group might be able to remain hidden when the Sith search the ship. I could wait until the guards have completed their search then come to rescue you."

Shira sighed, "we'll try it your way, Juhani. May the Force be with you."

The ship then shook again as it entered the Leviathan "hold on they're dragging us into the docking bridge"

Bastila nodded "everyone separate around the ship Carth, Shira and I will remain in here."

-()-()-

A few more minutes past until they could hear the Sith troops opening the loading ramp. Carth glanced at Shira who was gazing at him.

"Carth when you see Saul don't do anything stupid please"

"I won't Shira. I promised you I wouldn't jeopardize what we are doing here but if I do get my chance I will kill him"

Shira sighed, "I know. Just be careful."

The three of them stood facing the hallway as five Sith troops entered the room, "well, well" said the commanding officer "what do we have here? The famous Jedi Bastila, a Republican dog and a very pretty Jedi."

"what? Saul Karath to cowardly to face us, so he sent you pathetic lot" scoffed Carth

The Sith commander laughed, "You have a loud mouth on you Republic dog. However, you will see Admiral Karath soon enough. Men arrest and remove all weapons from these three." As one of the Sith soldiers made his way to Shira the commanding officer stopped him "you help the others, this pretty Jedi is all mine"

"You keep your hands off her," bellowed Carth

"troops restrain him"

On their commanding officer order, the three Sith forced Carth onto the ground immobilizing him. Carth had to watch as the commanding officer tied Shira hands together, placed a neutralizing band on her head so she could not use the Force and felt up every inch of her body for weapons.

Shira glared at the Sith, "if you dare touch me again I will kill you"

The Sith chuckled, "oh you are a fiery one, aren't you?" Shira spat at the Sith who just wiped it from his helmet and said, "it is a good thing I was wearing a helmet". Suddenly the Sith struck Shira across the face, throwing her backwards. "Or that punch would have been a pistol shot to the head"

"you bastard! How dare you hit her!" screamed Carth as he struggles to free himself from the Sith holding him down. Every bone in his body demanded him to protect Shira, to kill this Sith for even touching her.

"shut him up" cried the Sith commander.

Carth was then gagged by the Sith troops if I get free of here I am going to kill you and Saul

Shira slowly stood up and continue to glare at the Sith "you are a pathetic excuse for a man"

The Sith commander struck her again and then shouted, "Take these three to the torture room. Once you are there remove them of all but their bare essential clothing. But leave this pretty Jedi to me" he glared at Shira

"Touch me and you will die"

"Still haven't learnt your place?" He chuckled "I do love a challenge, but unfortunately Admiral Karath is in charge of your torture. Oh well, maybe we can have some fun before he arrives"

Carth struggled hard to get free I'm going to kill you he screamed in his head

The Sith commander stared at Carth, "hmm? Your reaction to the pretty Jedi's pain is interesting. Perhaps I should inform Admiral Karath about it, maybe it could be useful to him"

"Please leave him alone," begged Shira

The Sith turned his sights on Shira, "oh now you act nice... Take them away"

As the Sith forced Carth up he gazed at Shira, her face was red from where she had been struck. She gazed back at him, smiled, and mouthed the words, "I'm okay, don't worry" before they were dragged off the ship.


	15. Chapter 15 Torture

Chapter 15 – Torture 

The doors opened and Carth finally saw the man he had been hunting for, Saul. As Saul entered the room he stared at Carth with a smug look on his face. Carth wanted nothing more then to tear Saul's head off just for looking at him.

Saul walked towards Carth cell, "Carth it has been far too long since we last spoke. I see the recent months have not been kind in your case, I barely recognized you"

Carth glared at Saul with intense hatred, "but I recognize you Saul. I see your face every night even as I promise myself I will kill you for what you did to my home world."

Saul rolled his eyes, "did you learn nothing in your time under me? As a solider you should understand the casualties were unavoidable. This was an act of war"

"No it was a cowardly act of betrayal" he spat, "your fleet bombed a civilian target into oblivion without warning or provocation and the blood of those innocent people are on your hands."

Saul remained calm showing no emotion, "in war even the innocent must die. The Sith would not accept me until I truly proved that I had turned my back on the Republic by bombing the planet."

Carth could feel his anger growing but he hid it from Saul he did not want to give the bastard any pleaser in his pain, "my wife died in that attack Saul and for that I swear I'll kill you."

Saul chuckled slightly, "you used to be a man of action not of empty words. Cling to your last revenge if you must but spare me your tired threats I've heard them all before." Saul then turned his attention away from Carth as he stared at both Shira and Bastila. "You're an insignificant part of these events anyway. Lord Malak is far more interested in your Jedi companions. He has great plans for them"

Bastila raised her head high and said in a noble voice, "we will never serve Malak or the darkside. The Sith will be destroyed Admiral Karath as will you if you don't turn away from this path."

Carth rolled his eyes you are talking to a brick wall. Saul is far past redemption.

Saul smiled wickedly, "your words are brave Bastila but the lure of the darkside is hard to resist or so I've been told." He then gazed at Shira, "I wonder if your companion is as devoted to the light as you are."

Carth watched as the side of Shira's lip twitched into a smile. It lasted a microsecond and then her face returned to her blank expression before replying, "You're wasting your time, Saul. I'll never betray the Jedi!"

Saul raised an eye brow and his smile grew, "you're defiant. I'm certain Malak will find your loyalty to the Jedi amusing. The Dark Lord would probably reward me if I just kill you once and for all but he may want to question you given the trouble you've caused him, and the history between you."

What the hell is Saul talking about? What history? Carth glanced at Bastila, she looked shocked and terrified. Carth knew something wasn't right.

Shira stared at Saul with a confused expression on her face, "history? What are you talking about?"

"You mean… oh this can't be true can it. You really don't know what's going on here, do you?" Saul quietly laughed. "Well I won't be the one to deprive Malak of the pleaser of telling you himself. The Dark Lord will no doubt torture you for information and for his own twisted pleaser. Eventually you will tell him everything, the Sith can be very persuasive. However Lord Malak is in another section, it may some time before he arrives so I suppose I will have to fill in for him until then. Activate the torture fields"

At Saul's command a surge of electricity ran through their bodies. Carth screamed in pain as he felt each bolt of electricity burn his flesh. Even through his cries of pain Carth could still hear Shira screaming and that was more painful then the electricity.

"enough! I don't want them to pass out before I question them"

The flow of electricity abruptly stopped. Carth could feel his whole body ache but he forced himself to remain standing.

Saul continued talking "Malak will appreciate any information I can give him when he arrives."

"Don't waste your breath Saul. We won't answer any of your questions" bellowed Carth through ragged breaths.

"I'm sure you won't. However we both know your friend's loyalties have proven in the past to be somewhat… flexible."

"my loyalty is as true as Carth's" hissed Shira

Saul glared at Shira and strolled towards her cell, "it is time to put your loyalties to the test. I doubt torturing you will gain your true cooperation, your will is too strong to be broken that way. However even the strongest heroes have trouble watching those they care about suffering. The interrogation will begin now. Each time you refuse to answer or give me a false answer, Carth will suffer."

Carth's heart jumped and his skin twitched he did not want to be tortured. He gazed over at Shira it's either I get tortured or her. I rather suffer then to hear her scream in pain again.

"don't hurt him. I beg you" she cried in desperation.

Shira…I must remain strong I can't seem weak not now. "my pain is meaningless tell him nothing" he shouted

Saul sighed, "I tier of these games. Now I want answers. On what planet is the Jedi academy on which you were trained?"

Shira gazed at Carth, he could see the pain in her eyes and he readied himself for the torture. "Jedi academy? I have no idea what you're talking about." She lied

Saul bit his lip in frustration "very well this is the price you pay for resistance" he then nodded to the guard.

The flow of electricity ran through Carth's body. He tried to ignore the pain, he tried not to scream. Thankfully the torture was quick as Saul cried, "enough! You see what happens when you try to defy me. This first question was a test. Obviously Malak knew the academy was on Dantooine, and has since been destroyed by our fleet. Dantooine is an empty graveyard now. Nothing is there but a smoking ruin and the charred remains of your former masters"

What! First you destroy Telos then Taris and now Dantooine. You are a sick bastard Saul.

As if Shira read Carth's thoughts she screamed, "you will pay for this crime, Saul. You and all the Sith!"

"more empty threats" scoffed Saul, "we Sith preferred to let our actions speak for us perhaps this is why we are winning this war. Now tell me your mission. How were the Jedi planning on using you to stop Lord Malak and our Sith armada?"

Again Shira gazed at Carth with pained eyes and again he ready himself for the torture to come, "I won't betray the Jedi"

Saul brows furrowed, "perhaps you need a reminder of the consequences of refusing to cooperate"

The electricity surged through Carth again, this time it was stronger. He could feel parts of his flesh burning. Carth fought to ignore the pain but as it continued it grew stronger and he cracked, "no… ah the pain, the pain. ahhhh." Carth could feel apart of him praying that Shira would tell Saul what he wanted to know so the pain would stop.

"Listen. Can you not hear him suffering?" Saul shouted over Carth's screams. "You can spare him further pain by simply answering my questions. Now I'll ask again what mission did the Jedi Council send you?"

"this accomplishes nothing, Saul. We will never betray the Republic." Shira answered

"perhaps another lesson is in order" snarled Saul

The electricity intensified. The electrical currents ran through every inch of Carth's body, he could feel himself growing weaker. Carth's skin seemed to boil, he could not take the pain much longer, "ah no… I beg you, mercy. No!"

Saul motioned for the torture to stop and then smiled, "I am surprised he did not pass out sooner. Rarely have I seen someone withstand such punishment and remain conscious. I see I am wasting my time here. When Malak arrives you will learn my interrogation techniques are considered merciful among the Sith. I will leave you here in your cell with a small taste of the horrors you will suffer when Malak arrives".

The torture began again and Carth watched as Saul exited the room, I will get you for this you sick son of a bitch.

-()-()-

As Carth slowly opened his eyes, his head pounded, his ears rang, and his sight was blurry "where? What happened?" he mumbled. As the pounding in his head died down and his vision and hearing returning, he could hear the familiar sound of electricity. Carth glanced towards Bastila she was unconscious lying in her cell. He then looked to Shira. She was lying on the floor of her cell her body convulsing as electricity flowed through her. Immediately Carth began to panic "Shira! Shira wake up!" he screamed. Carth looked to the guards "turn it off! Turn it off now!" The two men laughed as they ignored him, "Shira!" Carth stared in horror as they continued to torture her. He felt so helpless I can't let them keep doing this I have to stop them. She could die… no anything but that I can't let her die. I have to protect her. "Shira!" he screamed in vain.

In the cell next to him Bastila began to stir as Carth screams woke her "Carth? What is happening?"

"Shira! They are torturing Shira"

"is she okay?"

Carth glared at Bastila, "of course she's not okay! They are fucking torturing her! Just look at her!"

"Carth calm down. She is a strong woman she can survive this"

"Shut up Bastila! Just shut up! They are fucking torturing her! Don't you tell me to fucking calm down!" As Carth stared at Shira he could feel his hope of anything draining away this is Telos all over again. I can't let her die. I need her. I…I…lo… "Shira! Wake up please" he glared at the guards "turn it off please she has had enough"

The two guards look at each other before one said, "We don't want her dying before Lord Malak arrives. Turn off the machine"

The electricity retreated from Shira leaving her motionless on the ground. The two guards then made their way to leave.

"wait! Where are you going?" Carth cried "she needs a medic now! Get her a medic please"

The two guards ignored him and left. Damn it! he thought why didn't I tell her how I feel? Why didn't I take every chance I had to act upon how I feel? Why didn't I kiss her again before we got captured? Damn it! I might have lost every chance I have… if she doesn't wake up… then I have lost the only other woman I have ever cared about…

"Medic! Medic! Please we need a medic now" he screamed

"Carth she is okay" reassured Bastila

Carth gazed hopelessly at Shira "Bastila is she still alive?"

Bastila nodded, "I still sense her present, and it's very weak but still there"

"what does that mean?"

"It means she is still alive, Carth. Weak but alive."

Carth released his breath she's alive, she's okay… but for how long? I never want to see that again. I can't let that happen to her again. I can't let anyone, not even herself inflict harm on her again. If I am to have any sort of purpose now it has to be to protect her. It has to be! I can't leave her not now not ever I need her. She is the most important thing I have in my life now and I can't lose that… I just can't.

-()-()-

A few hours past and Carth never removed his sight from Shira. He was waiting for any sign that she was going to wake up.

Bastila fidgeted uncomfortable in her cell before speaking "Carth we need to discuss something"

What does she want now? "Can it wait Bastila? I am not in the mood to talk"

"It has to be now before we can go any further in our mission?"

Carth sighed and dragged his gaze away from Shira's body, "what is it about?"

"It is about Shira"

"What about Shira? Is it about what Saul said? About Shira and Malak having a history?"

Bastila gasped silently but remained silent

"Bastila is it about what Saul said?" Carth demanded

"No" she blurted out "it is… uh… it is about you and Shira"

Not this again "what about me and Shira?"

"I have seen the way you two look at each other. The way you two talk to each other. And I have heard your thoughts"

"You have been in my head. Is it that easy to read my thoughts? Damn you Jedi first I need to tell Jolee to stay out and now you, don't you have any manners and common sense to stay out of someone's head?" Carth furrowed his brow "You have this sense of nobility of honor and yet you invade a persons privacy. Just stay out of my damn head Bastila. You might be a Jedi but you have no right to enter my mind" he snarled

"I know your thoughts about her how you feel towards her. Don't think your actions have gone unnoticed" she continued

"You know nothing about how I feel"

"We have talk about this before, Carth. She is a Jedi. She has to follow Jedi Code"

"No she doesn't! She has lead a life outside of the Jedi." Carth notice Bastila bite the bottom of her lip like she was hiding something but he ignored it and continued "She knows what emotions feel like. She knows how to control them. You know nothing about emotion. You have been with the Jedi since you were young, all you know is discipline without emotion." snapped Carth

"You do not truly know her"

Bullshit! "I know more about her then you ever will"

Bastila sighed, "the future is uncertain, Carth"

I know there are greater dangers ahead for me and for her. I have this feeling that something bad will happen to her. I know after this she will become a target. And I have seen a sliver of the fall she could face if she is not careful. But I can't just leave her because of that. I have to stay with her to help her. Carth gazed back at Shira, "that may be true but I am willing to face whatever comes next as long as I am with her." Bastila went to speak but Carth cut her off, "Enough Bastila. I do not want to hear anymore. I know what I feel is real and I will not throw it away because she is a Jedi"

The two of them remained silent as Carth waited patiently for Shira to wake up. Finally his patience paid off as he heard her moan and she slowly lifted up her head.

Bastila noticed Shira movements "Don't try to move to quickly you might not be fully recovered yet. Admiral Karath had his guards continue you to torture you even after you past out"

Carth smiled overjoyed that she was okay this is not the time to sappy, you need to explain what has happened and try and plan out what to do next, "they tortured all of us though you got the worst of it by far…" Carth clenched his fist in anger, "Saul wanted to make us suffer. He has become some sort of sadistic monster."

"the darkside has perverted him, Carth. Once you start down the tainted path it leads you ever further into the depth of evil. I fear he is forever lost." Bastila replied

Shira shook her head as she sat up "no one is without hope of redemption, Bastila" she whispered

"yes. I'm suppose you're correct. Sometimes it's easy to lose sight of that hope in the sight of such unbridled cruelty. But you speak the truth. I suppose I'm taking the news of Dantooine's destruction quite hard, first Taris now the academy. Is there no end to the killing?"

Shira stared at the ground, "I know… it's hard to believe they're all gone."

For the first time Carth could see the emotion of sadness in Bastila's eyes as she replied, "I'd like to believe Saul was lying to us. But even as he said the words I knew they were true, the academy is gone. We should have felt a disturbance in the Force when the attack came. The fact that we did not is a bad sign. I fear the darkside has grown stronger casting shadows our vision can not pierce. I can only hope that some of the Jedi escaped. Vrook, Vandar, Zhar, I can not imagine all of them being gone. In any case we have lost our one place of refuge in the galaxy"

Carth closed his eyes and rubbed his temples, "none of this will matter if we don't get out of this prison before Saul gets back."

"where is Saul now?" Asked Shira

"Saul mentioned that Lord Malak was on his way. I think the Admiral left to prepare for his arrival and to report the results of our interrogation."

"it is fortunate you were able to resist the Admiral's questioning. The fate of the galaxy could have been changed by relieving the slightest piece of vital information" remarked Bastila

Carth shuddered at the memory of his torture, "I ah… I have to confess something. There was a moment… just a moment… when part of me was hoping you tell him what he wanted to know. Just to make the horrible pain stop"

Tears swelled in Shira's eyes as she gazed into Carth's "I'm sorry, Carth. Watching you suffer tore me apart."

Carth wanted to reach out and hold her, to let her know more then in just words that he understood, "I know you would never do anything to intentionally cause me pain but… you had no other choice. You couldn't betray our cause. I… I don't honesty know if I could have been as strong in your position. Watch you suffer like that…" Shira screams of pain echoed in his head "I would have cracked…" his voice trailed away.

"did you feel that?" interrupted Bastila "a disturbance in the Force. The Admiral has sent his message, the Dark Lord knows we're here now. Malak is coming."

Carth sighed, "well then we better Juhani busts us out of here before he arrives."

Shira just nodded and remained quiet. Carth searched her eyes. They seemed hollow and empty. Carth had seen this look in her eyes before she was lost in some sort of thought. Carth couldn't help but feel scared for her. It was like there was a dark force hovered over her recently. Maybe it was the fear of Malak that he saw or Malak's dark present affecting Shira, either way he was scared for her. Carth wanted to tell Shira what he felt. He would open his mouth to say something but couldn't find the right words. So he remained silent trying to figure out what to say.

-()-()-

Carth stirred out of his thoughts as a commotion behind the door to their room. The cell doors abruptly died as the power to their cells were cut off and they were free. Carth, Bastila and Shira smiled and cheered as they ran out of the room.

"well done Juhani. In freeing us from the cell you have proven yourself truly worthily of the title of Jedi" commented Bastila

Carth rolled his eyes that must be the coldest thank you I have ever heard but I guess Juhani will have to be happy with that. It's the closet she'll get to a complement from Bastila "now if I remember the layout of the ship our equipment should be in a storage chamber just through the north doors. After we grab our stuff we need to get to the main bridge controls. The bridge is the only place where we can open the docking gates to the hanger where they've got the Ebon Hawk. We have to open those gates before we can fly out of here"

Bastila nodded, "we better get moving. I can feel the darkness of Malak's presents approaching and I don't want to be here when he arrives. None of us is a match for the Sith Lord."

"We need some type of plan." Shira pointed out

"surprise and secrecy will serve us best. A small group will have a better change of sneaking onto the bridge undetected, while the others make their way down to the Ebon Hawk."

If we are going to the bridge I bet Saul will be there and I will kill the bastard for what he did to my wife, my home world, and for torturing Shira "count me in then. I have a score to settle with the Admiral before we get off this ship and I have a feeling I'm going to find him on the Leviathan's bridge."

Shira smiled at Carth, "I'm coming to"

Bastila then continued explaining her plan as the rest of their team joined them, "The three of us will get our equipment and make our way to the bridge. The rest of you head down to the docking hanger where they've got the Ebon Hawk. You'll have to find a way to deal with the guards."

Canderous smiled and cracked him knuckles, "don't you worry about that. I know how to deal with the guards. They won't know what hit them!"

"Good. Get to the equipment room, grab what you need, and get going" Shira commanded.

Each one of them ran to the equipment room and grabbed their gear. Once they were all ready Canderous and the others headed off towards the hanger bay. Bastila strapped on her lightsaber and then turned towards Carth and Shira, "I will scout up ahead and make sure the way is clear I will return once I find the elevator to the bridge"

As Bastila rushed off Carth smiled, good this will give me a chance to talk to Shira. "Shira?"

"Yeah Carth?" she answered with a warm smile as she clipped her lightsaber onto her belt.

Carth was silent as he soaked in her smile its fantastic to see her smile so warmly after what just happened.

"Carth? You look like you want to say something"

"oh, you can tell, can you?" he asked absentmindedly

"well your mouth keeps opening that's a sign, I think" she teased

Carth forgot everything that was happening around them he was happy just to play along with her, "oh, yeah? Well listen, beautiful, I don't need to take this abuse. I get enough female Jedi bashing from Bastila, thank you very much."

"you love the attention. Admit it."

Look as great and fantastic as it is that Shira is acting like her cheeky self but this isn't the time or place for playing around, be serious. Carth laughed ignoring the voice in his head, "you think so? I could probably get the same kind of attention from a blaster rifle."

Shira smiled wickedly as she leaned into Carth's ear and whispered, "oh, I think there's things I can do that a blaster rifle can't"

A shiver of pleasure ran down Carth's spine as his mind automatically pictured Shira naked in his head, "now that I'd like to see, or would I? You've got my damn head on backwards, you know that?" Suddenly and only for a few seconds they could hear blaster fire in the distance. Alright now listen to me. I love the fact that Shira is being cheeky and I hope her good mood last I mean its amazing that she is even acting this way after being torture. She is truly a remarkably woman but this isn't the time to be playing around and picturing her naked no matter how great it is. You need to talk to her now! Seriously! You need to tell her that you want to protect her, to tell her she is what your purpose will be after you kill Saul. Hurry you don't have a lot of time. Carth sighed he knew the voice in his head was right "Anyway… as fun, ah, as this is, I do have to talk to you about something serious. Really serious. Uh, is this a good time?" Idiot! Of course this isn't a good time but it's the only time you have.

They then heard another blaster fire in the distance. Shira ignored it as she grinned and said cheerily, "this is fine"

Even though Carth was happy that Shira was acting cheery, it confused him how can she be this happy after being tortured? She is a remarkable and strong woman but this must be a mask. She can't be this happy, can she? I don't know maybe this is how she deals with what is happening. Damn it she confuses me. "Alright. I'm, uh… I'm concerned about you. I've been keeping these thoughts to myself, mostly, but I think it's time I say something."

Shira smiled vanished immediately, "what's this about?"

"it's about you. I'm worried about what might happen to you. You have a lot of courage, and the face you've remained strong is amazing, but there is even greater danger ahead. I think you might be setting yourself up for a fall. Maybe at the urging of the Jedi, I don't know… but you've definitely going to become a target" I'm afraid you are already a target I mean after how they tortured you and with what Saul said… "if, uh… if I'm going to find some purpose beyond revenge on Saul, then its going to have to be in protecting you. I don't know why, but I think some terrible fate is waiting for you" I'm also afraid that terrible fate is beginning to emerge. "I think the Jedi Council knows it, too. And I don't want that to come to pass."

Shira crossed her arms and furrowed her brow, "and just how are you suppose to protect me?"

"I" he sighed, "I… don't know. I'm not the best of men and I'm not the strongest fighter there is…" my fight with Canderous proved that "but I'll find a way. If I'm going to live past Saul I need you to, as well. Let me protect you… from yourself from the Sith… you have to let me try…"

"why are you doing this?"

Because I care about you more then anything in this galaxy "because… because I never got the chance to save my wife and son. Because I didn't stop Saul when I had the chance. Because finally I have the chance to do it right. You are a extraordinary woman… you make me think that maybe I might have some purpose beyond revenge. I don't know whether it means anything to you… but it does to me."

Shira smiled and held Carth's hand, "it means a lot to me, Carth. Thank you."

Carth squeezed her hand "I'm glad to hear that. I'll do my best."

"Carth, Shira" shouted Bastila "I have found the elevator. Hurry we don't have a lot of time.


	16. Chapter 16 The Truth

Chapter 16 – The Truth

It was done Saul was dead. Carth could feel the burden of his wife's death fading away. He could finally let go of her. However, Carth's freedom from his burden was quickly snatched away as Saul's finally words rang through his mind. "Remember my dying words. Remember them whenever… whenever you look at those you thought were your friends"

Carth stood up and backed away from Saul's lifeless body, "he's gone… he said… it can't be true, can it? No! No... No, it can't be true. Damn you, Saul! Damn you!" he muttered in disbelief and anger.

"What did he say, Carth?" Shira asked innocently

Monster he thought as he turned and glared at Shira. He then turned his glare onto Bastila, "Bastila! It is true, isn't it? And you knew. You and the whole damn Jedi Council, you knew the whole time!"

"Carth it's not what you think. We had no other choice please, you don't understand," pleaded Bastila

"So make me understand!" he snarled

"What are you two talking about? What's going on?" Shira asked frantically

Carth glared at her annd she slightly backed away from him

"Not here Carth please there's no time. Malak is coming this isn't the place. Please Carth I'm asking you to trust me for just a little while longer" Bastila continued.

"She's right, Carth. This isn't the time. We can get into this after we escape" Shira remarked.

Carth glanced back at Bastila but his glare remained strong, "I'll trust you Bastila but as soon as we're off this ship I expect some answers."

"Of course, Carth as soon as we get to the Ebon Hawk I will explain everything. To both of you I promise"

Shira looked at both of them, "wait? Both of us? Okay whatever this is, can I at least be filled in briefly? I know I just said this isn't the place but just a small hint so I know what's going on"

"Shut up!" Carth barked

"Carth…" Shira whimpered as he stormed off the bridge.

-()-()-

Carth glared with uncontrollable hatred at Malak as he blocked their exit.

"Darth Malak!" hissed Bastila

Carth whipped out his pistols this is my chance to kill the bastard "down you go," he cried as he fired at Malak who instantly pulled out his lightsaber and block the shots. Carth glared and was seconds away from firing again when he was thrown to the ground by Malak Force push. Bloody Jedi

Malak laughed at Carth attempts to kill him before he concentrated on Bastila "I hope you weren't thinking about leaving so soon Bastila. I spent far too much energy hunting down you and your companions to let you get away from me now." He then set his sights on Shira "Besides I had to see for my self if it was true. Even now I can hardly believe my eyes, tell me why did the Jedi spare you? Is it vengeance you seek at this reunion?"

Carth glanced at Shira Maybe now that she is in front of Malak she will finally reveal who she is.

Shira took a step back her hand tightly on her lightsaber, "reunion? What are you talking about?"

Why the hell is she still lying? Who is she trying to fool? I know who she is and so does Bastila thought Carth

"What?" Malak laughed, "You mean you don't know? All this time and you still haven't figured it out? I wonder how long you would have stayed blind to the truth. Surely some of what you once were has surfaced by now"

Carth saw Shira shiver he knew that parts of who she is had surfaced. He saw it on Korriban and now she could no longer keep lying about it.

Malak continued, "Even the combine power of the Jedi Council couldn't keep your true identity buried forever, could it?"

A strange blue glow shivered down Shira body as she grabbed her skull in pain. Carth had to hold himself back as he battled his instinct to hold her she is evil remember hissed an angry voice in Carth's mind. She in pain cried another voice I love her I can't let her be in pain. Carth didn't move as his anger controlled him she is not the woman that you love. That woman was a lie she conjured up to fool you. Remember who she really is and what she has done.

A strange energy pulsated out of Shira body as she moaned in pain

She doesn't know the truth please help her pleaded the whimpering voice in Carth's mind. She is lying! She know exactly who she is screamed the angry voice. The whimpering voice became stronger, no. She doesn't know anything. If she did, she wouldn't have let Saul torture her. She wouldn't have let Malak torture her.

The strange energy began to fade away as Shira released her skull and stumbled backwards "no… no it can't be true please... no it can't be true" she pleaded

Malak glared at her "you can not hide from what you once were, Revan! Recognize that you were once the Dark Lord and know that I have taken your place!"

Shira shook her head, "no… this is some kind of trick! A Sith lie!"

"You do not yet remember Revan? The Jedi sent a trap; they lured us into battle against a small Republic fleet. During the attack, a team of Jedi Knights boarded your ship. The Jedi strike team captured you and the Jedi Council used the Force to reprogram your mind. They whipped away your identity and turned you against your own followers."

"No, I don't believe you, Malak!" she screamed

"You must have seen flashes of your own life in your dreams, Revan; memories bubbling up to the surface? Surely you must remember the battle in which you were captured"

"Why wouldn't the Jedi simple kill me?"

I would have snarled the angry voice in Carth's mind

Malak crossed his arms, "the Jedi are fools! They do not believe in executing prisoners. Originally, I assumed you died in the battle. Imagine my surprise when I found out that you were still alive, Revan."

"Do you mean I'm really…? You're Master?"

"Once I severed you, Revan. But I always knew that the title of Dark Lord would be mine when the Jedi strike team boarded your vessel I saw my day had come. I ordered my own ships to fire on your bridge. I thought I could destroy all my enemies with a single glorious victory! I never dreamed the Jedi would take you alive from the wreckage."

Carth watched and was surprise to see when Shira pain filled eyes as she turned to Bastila, "Basitla is this true?"

Bastila looked away with shame, "it's true. I was part of the team that was sent to capture Revan… to capture you. When Malak fired on the ship you were badly injured we thought you were dead. Your mind was destroyed but I used the Force to preserve the flicker of life in your body. I brought you to the Jedi Council they were the ones who healed your damaged mind."

"Then why don't I remember being Revan?"

"the Jedi Council didn't restore your wounded mind, Revan. They merely programmed you with a new identity, one loyal to the Republic! They tired tried to make you their slave!" Replied Malak

Shira sighed and she glanced at Carth, "I understand, Bastila. You had no choice."

She forgave Bastila? But if she is Revan then why did she forgive Bastila? Carth's anger disappeared but his conflicting emotions remained She truly doesn't remember being Revan. But that doesn't change the fact that she is Revan. What do I do? What do I think? I love her… no I love Shira not Revan… I hate Revan! And she's Revan. Damn it! What the hell do I do?

"Forgiveness Revan?" Malak mocked, "you are weak! I was right to betray you! You are not fit to rule the Sith! A small part of me has always regretted betraying you from afar. I always knew that there were some who thought I acted out of fear. That I did not want to face you. But now fate has given me a seconded chance to prove myself. Once I defeat you in combat no one will question my claim to the Sith throne; my triumph will be complete!"

Shira pulled out her double bladed light saber and growled, "your power is no match for the light!"

"The Jedi Council were foolish to let you live, I wont make the same mistake. We will finish this alone in the ancient Sith tradition. Master verses apprentice as it was meant to be!" Malak raised his hand placing Carth and Bastila in status.

Carth had to watch helplessly as Shira and Malak fought. The fight went on for several minutes before Malak knocked Shira down and fled out the door behind him. Shira stood up but before she chased after Malak, she stood in front of Carth gazing into his eyes.

"I know you hate me now… I understand why you hate me… but I didn't know. I'm sorry"

Carth saw tears forming in her eye before she ran off after Malak.

-()-()-

Carth was finally released from status not long after Bastila. Carth chased Bastila but arrive to late as he watched her fling Shira frozen body away from Malak and cried out, "I'll hold him off. You two get out of here find the Star Forge."

"no Bastila he's to strong." The doors between them closed and locked "No!" he roared. Carth ran to the door trying to open them. It was no use. He glanced back at Shira who was now able to move, "the doors are sealed we can't get pas, come on we have to get to the Ebon Hawk"

"what about Bastila? We have to help her"

Carth shook his head, "Bastila doesn't stand a chance against Malak, but we can't help her. Not here we have to get off this ship and find the Star Forge. That's the key to beating the Dark Lord. Bastila sacrificed herself so we could get away we can't let her sacrifice be in vain. Come on" he said before bolting off towards the Ebon Hawk.


	17. Chapter 17 Trip to Manaan

Chapter 17 – Trip to Manaan

They had made it back to the Ebon Hawk safely. Canderous's team had removed all the guards and had the ship was ready for their escape. Carth rocketed toward the pilot's chair and frantically took control. The sound of the ships engines did not go unnoticed and within seconds they had Sith trooper firing at them and sending fighters after them. As soon as they Ebon Hawk was a safe distance away from the Leviathan and the fighters were dealt with Carth jumped the ship into hyperspace. As soon as they were safe in hyperspace Carth gathered the crew in the main hold.

"where is Bastila? What happened on that Ship?" demanded Jolee

Carth took a deep breath trying to let go of his anger before he began to explaining the situation. "We ran into Malak. He would have killed us, but Bastila sacrificed herself so we could get away."

Mission gasped in horror, "you mean she's… she's dead?"

Hopefully she's okay Carth thought

"bah. Malak won't kill her, don't be foolish" he scoffed, "he'll want to use her battle meditation against the Republic. Turn her to the darkside and the Sith will always be victorious."

Shira slammed her fist on the table "we have to go back for Bastila!" she cried

At the sound of Shira voice Carth's anger flared up, "not so fast. We've got a bigger issue to deal with here. They deserve to know the truth about you." He crossed his arms and glared at her, "Do you want to tell them what Malak said, or should I?"

Shira lowered her eyes for a moment before meeting Carth glare and hissing, "I don't care what Malak said! I'm not Darth Revan, I'm Shira"

Mission shook her head, "Revan? What… what are you talking about? Is this some kind of joke?"

"no, it's no joke." Snarled Carth, "the Jedi Council captured Revan and erased the Dark Lord's mind, programming a new identity. Saul Karath told me on the Leviathan and Bastila confirmed it!"

Mission stepped back slightly in disbelief, "You're Darth Revan? This is… this is big. Do you… do you remember anything about being the Dark Lord?"

Shira closed her eyes, "Small bits. A few strange dreams and visions. That's all."

"just a few flashes? This it? Nothing more? Then I don't think there's a problem. It seems to me that if you don't really remember anything about being Revan, then I doesn't really matter anymore. You are who you are now, right?" commented Mission

What! "of course it still matters!" Carth screamed, "how do we know more memories won't come flooding back? how do we know Revan won't suddenly turn on us? The whole time we've been chasing after Malak we've has his old Sith Master right at our side; listening to our secrets; hearing our plans!" Carth's hands began to tremble as his hatred for Revan grew stronger. He pulled out his pistol and pointed it to Shira's head "you are the reason I was taken away from my family! You are the reason we are in this war! You were a hero and you betrayed us all!" he roared.

Canderous, HK, Zalbaar and Mission all drew out their weapons and aimed them at Carth

HK-47 loaded his rifle and aimed it at Carth's head "threat: If your finger pull that trigger you will be dead before the blast reaches the master"

"shut up you god forsaken droid!"

A tear strolled down Shira cheek "I'm sorry, Carth… I wish this wasn't true."

"I trusted you and you lied and tricked me from day one. All the moments we shared meant nothing to you" Carth could feel his skin crawl at the thought that he kissed her.

"That's not true. I meant everything to me. I didn't lie or trick you I..."

"shut up! I swore if I ever met Revan I would kill her for what she has done."

Shira stepped forward so that the barrel of the pistol touched her forehead, "I'm sorry Carth I wish I wasn't Revan" she then gazed up into his eyes, "I understand if you pull that trigger… I won't blame you… I would do it"

Everyone fell silent as Carth gazed down at her, this is your chance to kill Revan. Carth's hand began to tremble as small memories of the time he spend with her flooded into his mind. Their first kiss, the first time they met, the first moment they danced with each other, and all the times they had talked and laughed were few of the memories that flashed into his mind. Carth felt his heart ache I can't do it… it's still Shira and I still love her. Carth growled in frustration as he threw his pistol away and for the moment his anger melted away.

The others put their guns away and Shira took a ragged breath in and stepped away from Carth "I'm sorry Carth"

Mission grabbed Shira hand and hugged her, "hey – you've got nothing to be sorry about! You didn't ask for this. besides, I know you… you're not Revan anymore. Whatever you used to be, you're one of us now! Big Z and I will stick by you. we owe you our lives; we won't desert you now!"

Carth felt disgusted at what Mission said and clenched his fist to control in his anger, "how can you say that, Mission? The Sith bombed my home world! Revan took away my family and destroyed my life!"

Canderous uncrossed his arms and stood up, "everyone knows it was Malak who gave the order to attack you people, Carth. You can't blame Revan for that."

He's right… damn it he is right Carth relaxed his fist and released his anger trying to remain calm. "I… I suppose you've proven yourself to be a friend of the Republic by your actions so far… Revan. But can I trust you? can any of us?" Carth then listen as everyone around him remarked on how they trusted Revan. Carth sighed he was outnumbered and did not want to start a fight he could not win "well, the others seem to trust you… and I don't see any other way that we can stop the Sith. And I suppose that Malak is the real enemy here… I really don't have any other choice, do I?"

Shira moved closer to Carth, "I'm not Revan anymore, Carth. You have to believe that."

Carth couldn't look her in the eyes, "I want to believe you. You've proven yourself time and time again during our mission, but this is a little much for me to wrap my mind around"

Shira shivered a little and tried to hide her fear behind a smile, "how do you think I feel?"

Carth ignored her smile, "this must be even more of a shock to you… I don't know how you even keep going. I guess we both just have to find a way to push forward. Don't worry - I won't let my personal feelings get in the way of my assignments or this mission. But don't forget: I've sworn an oath to defend the Republic! As long as this mission stays on course, I'll stick with you. but I won't let you betray the Republic under any circumstances!" Carth sighed, "So I guess that's it then… we keep going. We've still got one more Star Map to uncover if we're going to find that Star Forge and save Bastila, so let's do it before it's too late."

The crew then disbursed back to their areas but Carth remained in the main hold with Shira. He picked up his pistol and placed it back into his holster.

"Carth?" whispered Shira

"What?"

"I am sorry I wish it wasn't true"

"yeah well… so do I"

Shira placed a hand on Carth's shoulder, "I never lied to you and everything that we did, everything that we felt… I felt was real"

Carth yanked her hand off his shoulder, "how do I know that? How do I know that everything I feel for you wasn't planted in my mind by your Jedi mind tricks?"

"I would never do that"

Carth shook his head, "you are Revan it sound exactly like something you would do"

Shira clenched her fist, "I am not Revan… not anymore…"

"well we'll see about that" Carth then stormed out of the main hold.

-()-()-

Carth had been staring at the ceiling for a few hours now trying to wrap his mind around what had just happened. Carth couldn't stand the thought that she was Revan but couldn't just forget his feeling for her. Sure he hated who she truly was but she had helped find his son and gave him the chance to take revenge on Saul and finally be able to put his wife to rest. He wanted to hate her for everything. He wanted to make her responsible for everything. But he just couldn't. She had freed him from the shadows of his pain and he had to look past simple revenge he had to try to look past image of Revan and see her as Shira again. He stood up and left his room he needed to do something to distract himself he had enough of sitting and stewing in his thought.

Carth made his way to the cock-pit in hope of some form of work to do but instead found Shira talking to herself. Carth stopped at the door and hid in the shadows listening to her.

"I am Revan" she quietly sobbed, "I am a monster"

Yes you are Carth thought vindictively

"how… how can I be Revan… I have tried so hard to be good like Bane…" Shira moaned with anguish at the thought of Bane. "Bane… my brother and the only family that I can remember is a lie… my whole life is a lie…" Tears flooded from her eyes as she began to violently weep, "All I know about myself, about my life is that I am a monster…" She glanced at the empty chair next to her, "Bane?"

A strange shimmer ran through the air. The space in the empty chair seem to vibrate. Carth furrowed his brow, What the hell? Is she doing that? Is it the force?

Shira watched the vibrating air as if it was a person, "how?" she asked it, "how can the Jedi Council just create a false life? How could they create you Bane? How were they able to twist my emotions?" The space did not answer her and she began to sob again. "I know your not real Bane but I wish you were here. Please somebody end this torment. I don't want to be this monster. I want my brother back. I want the life i had back, I don't care if it was a lie" The shimmering air began to disappear. Shira reached out desperately towards it, "no please don't leave me please I don't want to be alone." The shimmering air vanished completely and she wailed in agony. "why didn't Carth shoot me? He should have killed me"

Carth bowed his head in shame, I could never shoot you… his train of thought was interrupted by his pistol being yanked and thrown into the cock-pit by an invisible force.

"why?" screamed Shira as she turned to face him, "why couldn't you shoot me? I am a monster"

Carth stepped out of the shadows, "how did you know I was…"

"you don't hide your presence very well" she interrupted, "or your thoughts for that matter"

Carth clenched his fist, "Shira I told you to stay out of my thought"

"I know but what do you expect from a monster"

"you are not a monster! Revan is the monster!"

Shria launched up from her seat and screamed, "I am Revan!"

Carth remained silent he glanced at the empty chair. He didn't even attempt to ask about what had just happened

Shira glared at him and then Force pulled the pistol into her hand, "you never answered my question, why didn't you shoot me?"

Carth stepped forward filling the space between them, "I couldn't shoot you because I would have never been able to live with myself if I killed you"

"you should have done it… you should have killed me"

"no Shira I should have never raised that gun to your head"

Shira whole body began to shake as more tears flowed from her eyes. She slowly raised the pistol to her head, "then I will do it"

Shira moved her finger to the trigger and Carth's instinct didn't fail him. Just as she pulled the trigger Carth pulled the pistol away from her head and tackled her to the ground. The blast from the pistol hit the ceiling of the cock-pit. Carth snatched the gun and threw it away from her and then sat up. She stared up at him pain filled eyes and then she hugged him crying into his chest. Carth wrapped his arms around her and held her, allowing her to cry. The part of him that hated Revan relished in her pain but the part of him that love Shira soul was being ripped apart with each one of her sobs. Carth stroked her hair and whispered "it's okay".


	18. Chapter 18 Manaan

Chapter 18 – Manaan

The ship was still. The others off on the planets surface. He waited patiently. His thoughts a million miles away as he stared at his pistol. The pistol that almost stole Shira life, by her hand and his. He felt numb. I pushed her to that point he regretfully thought, if hadn't taken aim at her she wouldn't have tried to kill herself. Carth placed the pistol back in its holster and sighed. He needed to get off the ship, he needed some air. As he made his way to the exit ramp he was stopped by Mission

"Where you going Carth?"

He froze. He needed an excuse, "ah" say something believable damn it "we are running low on supplies. I am just going to pick up a few things"

"Oh I will come with you," she said with a smile.

"No! It will be quicker if I go alone"

"How would it be…"

"Stay here I've got to go… bye" he then hurried off the ship.

-()-()-

As Carth wondered around each district in Manaan he was pleasantly surprised at how well the Sith and the Republican soldiers were behaving. As he discovered the Sith and the Republic had sighed a peace treaty for this planet, because Manaan is the only planet were kolto could be harvest both side, so they had no choice but to play nice with each other. Carth hated the sight of the Sith but he was just happy that he didn't have to fight, he was too tired to fight. He soon found his way into a swoop race cantina. He smiled fondly as as the memory of watching Shira first race entered his mind. Carth sat down and watched one of the races. When the final race was about to begin, the name of the racer appeared on screen. He rolled his eyes of course he thought as Shira name flashed on the screen here we are out on an important mission and she stops for a race. Shira tear stricken face appeared in his mind and he sighed, I guess she does need something to cheer her up. Carth look away from the screen and left with the sudden urge for a drink.

-()-()-

Carth had lost track of time as he continuously gulped down more Juma Juice. He hoped that maybe the Juma Juice would help him forget everything. This was a first for him to turn towards alcohol to solve his problems but he was in love with a woman who he also hated. She was Revan and yet she wasn't. He continued to battle with his feeling until the alcohol finally led him to the realization that he didn't care if Shira was Revan, he loved her all the same. I have to tell her everything. I have to talk to her. I have to kiss her and feel her silky lips on mine. I need Shira damn it and nothing going to stop me tonight. Carth slurred his thanks to the bartender and staggered back to the Ebon Hawk.

Carth stumbled onto the Ebon Hawk slurring under his breath, "bloody loading ramp being so steep" he glanced around the ship, "right now where is she?" he clumsily wonder around the ship searching for her but it seemed that everyone was asleep. "Right then I will just wake her up". As he made his way to Shira room, he was stopped by HK-47 who was standing in front of her door.

"command: stop right there meatbag"

"move you stupid droid I am talking to Shira now," he drunkenly hissed

"statement: the master is sleeping"

"yeah" cried Canderous as he walked up behind Carth, "after you almost killed her, do you even think we are going to allow you to see her?"

Carth glared at Canderous, "why don't you mind your own fucking business Canderous. I can talk to her if I want to"

Canderous chuckled, "well, well the respectable Republican solider is drunk."

"statement: that would explain the meatbag's slowing functioning brain waves"

"I may have had a few Juma Juice's" remarked Carth

"a few?" laughed Canderous, "and how many was that? One I bet, that would be enough to get you drunk"

"it was more like eight or nine" Carth said proudly although he wasn't sure why he was proud of that.

Canderous smiled, "I will give you some credit Republican dog you can hold your drink, but I still won't let you see Shira"

Carth sneered at Canderous, "look I know you are jealous that she picked a true solider over a pitiful Mandalorian so I know that nothing you can do will stop me from seeing her" Carth took a step towards Shira door

HK pulled out his rifle, "threat: if you enter that room I will be forced to shoot you"

"move droid! Or I will…" Carth sentence was cut short as Canderous knocked him on the back of his head with a pistol handle. Carth slumped to the floor.

Canderous loomed over Carth's body, "don't you ever call me pitiful!" Canderous then grabbed the back of Carth's jacket dragging him towards the cargo bay, throwing him in there.

"statement: I would have just killed the meatbag" HK commented

Canderous crossed his arms, "Shira would never forgive me if I killed him"

"statement: the master would have never allowed that meatbag's actions to go unpunished when she was Revan. Now she forgives the meatbag and wants to continue relations with him, it is truly irrational. The master is truly not Revan anymore with her behavior."

Canderous scoffed, "well at least she still fights like Revan. Come on lets leave the drunken fool to sleep"

-()-()-

Carth awoke in the medbay with a painful headache. He rubbed the back of his head as he remembered the night before. Carth cringe at the thought of what he was going to do, I would have made a complete ass of myself. I will have to thank Canderous for stopping me. But did the bloody bastard have to hit me on the back of the head.

As Carth sat up Jolee smiled, "well I was wondering when you were going to wake up. We found you passed out in the cargo bay thought we would bring you in here. It appears that you had too much to drink last night"

Carth groaned, "yeah but I needed it "

Just then Juhani walked into the room and shook her head, "I know that discovering Shira was Revan is hard for you but turning to alcohol is not the answer Carth"

Carth rolled his eyes when did you become my mother "well what did you do when you found out?"

"I meditated on the subject" Juhani bluntly answered

"well we are not all Jedi's we don't all meditated" Carth scoffed. He glanced at Jolee, "and what about you? how did you deal with it?"

Jolee kept a calm face, "I already knew she was Revan"

Carth sighed, "I do remember you saying that when she first told all of you." he then shook his head, "but how could you not tell us?"

"it was not my place to tell her or anyone one else"

"just like the Jedi to keep secret" Carth snarled

"I may be a Jedi but my actions are of my own doing not because my Jedi code told me to" Jolee growled angrily

Carth bowed his head, "I know I know I'm sorry. It's just she is Revan, how do we deal with that? How do I trust her?"

Juhani placed a hand on Carth's shoulder, "surely Carth you can sense that she is no longer Revan."

"then who is she?" he asked

"she is the women she was before, she was corrupted by the darkside." Answered Jolee

"but what about her reprogrammed mind?" Carth asked

"the Council did not change who she is, they only placed new memories to ensure that she turns away from the darkside and hate the Sith. Tell me Carth what were some of the things from her past that she told you"

"Her parents were killed and she and her brother ended up on Nar Shaddaa. They became criminals, smugglers. Her brother wanted to be a Republican solider she could never understand why. She was attacked by Sith soldiers and her brother was killed by them when he was trying to save her. Then she ended up working with the Republic until the Endar Spire crashed."

Jolee nodded his head, "the Council was truly clever. They gave her a dark past, perhaps to represent her time as a Sith. They gave her family that were killed by the Sith. No doubt her brother was meant to represent Malak before he was corrupted by the darkside and in her mind killed by the Sith. They gave her means to hate the Sith and want and reason to work with the Republic."

"why Malak? Why make her brother be the representation of Malak?" he asked

This time Juhani answered, "Malak was Revan's only family. She looked at him as if he was a brother. That relationship must have died when they became Sith"

"the darkside can destroy everything you hold dear" Jolee agreed

Carth shook his head, "her memory of her brother, whether it had been created or not is important to her. We cannot tell her that it was meant to represent Malak". Carth was silent for a moment.

Juhani sighed she could sense what he was feeling; "you must look past the fact that she is Revan. You can see she is no longer the same Revan. Look at all the good she has done"

Carth slightly smiled, "I know. I will try"

Suddenly Mission ran into the med bay, "Carth! thank god, you're awake. Shira is in jail along with HK-47 and Canderous"

Carth jumped up "What! How the hell?"

"there is a Selkath waiting for you outside the ship"

Carth sighed, "okay stay here I will get her"

-()-()-

Carth thanked the Selkath for taking him to Shira as he walked up to her cell. He crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow, "how did you manage to land yourself in jail?"

Shira gazed up at him sheepishly, "well ah… we kind of broke into the Sith base and ah… sort of killed some Sith's that attacked us"

"So you just happened to break into a Sith base and happened to kill some Sith on a planet with a peace treaty and a no violence law."

Shira tried to smile, "yes"

"and you happened to take Canderous, a Mandalorian and mercenary. As well as HK-47, an assignation droid. Both of which I don't see in here"

"ah… yeah they are in a separate cell block. They were getting a bit violent"

Figures. Carth uncrossed his arms and rubbed his temples, "and may I ask why you were doing this?"

Shira rubbed her arm, "the Republic soldiers here found the Star Map near their kolto harvesting base on the sea floor. They agreed that if we get back a stolen data module from the Sith they will let us go down to Hrakert station and access the Star Map"

Carth smiled, "well at least you were helping the Republic. But what were you thinking? Do you know how hard this will be for you to get out of?"

Shira frowned, "yeah I know. That's why" she gazed up at Carth and smiled, "that's why I ask for you to help me"

Carth chuckled I can't believe that she would turn to me for help. After everything, I have said and done she still trust me like this. "I don't know much about law"

"but you are respectable Republican solider, you can give me advice about this. I'm not very good with law enforcement and they will look into my criminal record…" she paused. Pain filled her eyes and she bit the top of her lip, "even though it is, fake"

Carth gazed into her pain-filled eyes, all he wanted was to hold her and somehow let her know its okay. However, there was a damn cage between them. Carth thought for a moment, "Well they will take into consideration that you are a Jedi. Tell them that you are on a mission for the Republic and that the Sith let you into their base." He paused, "they did let you into the base right?"

Shira nodded, "yes we got a clearance code and they let us in, before attacking us"

"tell them that. It sounds like a Sith trap. They should believe it."

Shira sweetly smiled, "thank you Carth"

Carth returned the smile, "your welcome. Just try not to get placed in jail again"

Shira laughed, "deal"

-()-()-

Carth stood at the back of the courtroom watching the proceedings. Shira spoke politely and with dignity. Unlike the Sith solider who kept yelling and making accusations against Shira. Through out the trails hearing Shira would glance back at Carth, she would have a worried fill face but as soon as Carth smiled at her, she would smile back being fully at ease. As Carth thought, the judges put the fact that Shira was a Jedi into consideration. As well as the fact, that how the fight began sounded undoubtedly like a trap. The judges let Shira and the others off with a warning. Carth chuckled as the Sith solider swore at the judges as Shira began to leave. Shira ran up and hugged Carth. The scent of her hair wafted into his nose and a shiver of pleasure ran down his spine. He missed the feel of her body against his. As she moved to let go of him he found himself whispering, "don't let go". Shira held onto him longer until Canderous cleared his throat and she let go blushing.

Shira smiled at Carth, "thank you Carth for the advice"

He gazed into her eyes, "it was my pleasure"

Shira nodded her head to Canderous and HK and they both left. She then turned to Carth, "I have asked Canderous and HK to go back to the Ebon Hawk and tell Mission to meet us at the Republic embassy. I want you and her to come with me to Hrakert station to see the last Star Map"

"Shouldn't we head back to the ship as well? You know to get some rest"

Shira shook her head, "we are so close to finding the Star Forge, Carth. We can't stop now not when Bastila is in trouble. Each minute that passes Bastia could be closer to falling to the darkside". Shira began to walk towards a barrier facing the ocean.

Carth followed asking, "Do you really think she will fall?" there is a high chance with the way she acted

Shira sighed, "You saw how she acted. She couldn't control her emotions. It's only a matter of time before she will break."

Carth leaned against the barrier she's right he thought.

There was a long pause between them as they tired to think of something to say. Carth wanted to talk to her about being Revan but he knew this wasn't the right place. A cool breeze hit them and he watched as Shira face lit up with joy and she giggled.

Carth smiled, "what are you giggling about?"

"A memory from before… when I was Revan… it just popped into my head"

Carth smiled faded, "oh…"

Shira turned seeing his frown, "no. It's not a bad memory. I think it was from before I fell. Although Malak is in it and he has his metal jaw, so it's after the War"

"What was the memory?" he asked cautiously

Shira closed her eyes, "Me and Malak had arrived here on Manaan. I think we were looking for the Star Map. I remember feeling happy and excited; I think it was my first time seeing the ocean. We came up to the barrier and I wanted to go for a swim. Malak protested against it. He was no fun. When he wasn't looking I jumped into the ocean. People started gathering and making a scene about me swimming. Malak was making a bigger fuss about it, he yelled something about firaxan sharks but I didn't care. Malak lifted me out of the water using the Force. He yelled at me about being more careful and something about how I do the same thing in battle. He was treating me like I was a child and I teased him about being no fun before he hugged me and we went back to searching for the Star Map."

A smile tugged at the corner of Carth's lips, "well its good to see you haven't lost your child like quality from when you were Revan."

Shira opened her eyes again and laughed, "Yeah well acting like a child sometimes is way more fun then acting like an adult."

"Malak hugged you? He doesn't seem like the hugging type"

Shira closed her eyes again, "I think he used to be nicer. From the flashes of memories I get, he seems like he was protective of me. Even though I was his master he acted like an older brother trying to keep me out of to much trouble…" Shira opened her eyes, "it's scary how much the darkside can corrupt a person and make them the complete opposite from who they are"

"Shira?" he kindly asked, "Why are you remembering all this stuff now?"

She was silent for a moment before replying, "When we met Malak he did something to me with the Force. What ever it was it opened up a floodgate of memories. I get flashes of being Revan now and then but it's alright, I mostly get good ones"

"Mostly get good ones?"

Shira shivered, "yeah every now and then I get memories of fighting and sometimes I get memories of me torturing people"

Carth moved closer to her as she bowed her head.

"Those bad ones make me feel even more like a monster" she sighed

Carth placed his hand on hers, gazed into her eyes, and then pulled her into a hug, "you are not a monster. You are a beautiful and caring woman."

Shira wrapped her arms around Carth. They both held each other as they looked out at the ocean.

-()-()-

Now they waited, as Shira search through shark infested water for the Star Map. They were told something went wrong down on the station but they didn't imagine this type of blood bath. The Selkath had gone mad and began to kill everything in sight. While they searched they were able to avoid big hordes of them, but every room or two there would a Selkath waiting. When they first traveled to the station in the sub Mission was excited and in awe of the ocean, but now all her excitement had disappeared as they traveled. As they waited for Shira, Mission would constantly ask "do you think she is okay?" Carth could never answer her because he had no idea. His stomach would churn with fear as he wondered how she would be able to fight off the sharks. She wouldn't be able to use her lightsaber it's in her suit he thought anxiously. He remembered that they found a sonic emitter but he had no idea if that would kill the sharks. An hour had passed by until finally Shira walk through the airlock.

Carth ran up and hugged her, "are you alright? What took you so long? Did you find the Star Map?"

Shira smiled and explain how she found two survivors who told her where the Star Map was. However the Star Map was blocked by a giant firaxan shark and she could either save it by destroying the mining equipment or kill it with a type of gas they had made. She told them how she decided to save the shark, which let her pass and go to the Star Map. Shira pulled out a data pad, "I have the location of the Star Forge right here"

"Good. Now can we get out of here this place is giving me the creeps" Mission asked

-()-()-

Once they returned to the surface they informed the Republic embassy what they had found. They weren't happy about Shira destroying their mining equipment. Carth didn't care, he was proud of her for saving the giant firaxan shark, it was more proof that she was no longer Revan. However before they were even able to step two feet out of the embassy they were arrested.

As Carth stood in his cell he glanced over at Shira and joked, "Didn't I tell you not to get put in jail again"

Shira laughed, "yes but you said nothing about me going to jail with you"

Carth laughed, "True. Now how do I let you get us into these situations"

"You take one look into my big brown eyes and you are lost and willing to do anything" Shira teased sticking her tongue out at him

"Would you two please save this stuff for when you are alone" Mission complained

-()-()-

The court hearing went by with out a hitch. They mentioned how they saved the giant firaxan shark and the Selkath decided to let them go. Once they were back on the Ebon Hawk, Shira handed Carth the data pad with the Star Forges location. It amazed him that no one had come across it before. That no other map had its location. Carth typed in the coordinates and an instant the ship was off into hyperspace.


	19. Chapter 19 Trip to the Star Forge

Chapter 19 – Trip to the Star Forge

Their mission was almost over. They were almost at the Star Forge. Soon the Republic would have the upper hand against the Sith. All they had to do was destroy it. It shouldn't be too hard? He thought. Carth sighed and leaned back in his chair. What would happen to them after the mission was over? He would most likely be sent back into the fleet, maybe a promotion. Canderous would go back to mercenary work. Mission and Zaalbar would most likely follow Shira. There was no question where the droids would go. Bastila might go back to Dantooine and help rebuild the Jedi's that is if she manages to fight off Malak's corruption. What about Shira? Would she follow Bastila or would the Star Forge awaken the slumbering monster that is Revan. These thoughts and questions filled his mind making him feel more anxious. Carth thought back to Mannaan and how he held Shira as they looked out onto the ocean. How he panic for her safety when she was alone with the firaxan sharks. Carth shook his head. He had been proud and selfish when he found out she was Revan. His hatred for her didn't last long. He knew deep in his heart that his hatred was never going to last more then a day. That need to talk to Shira, to tell her he wanted to be with her. To have a future with her burn like a raging fire in his heart. However he was afraid. He was scared of losing her to the darkside. He was scared that if they face Malak he could kill her. But most of all he was scared that she wouldn't want to be with him anymore. He rose from his seat and sighed, "We have maybe a day before we get to the Star Forge. I need to tell her now. I need to be with her now. Before the risk of the darkside, of the death that is the Star Forge could take her" Carth slammed his fist on the control panel, "No! I won't let her slip away from me no matter what. I have a chance to save her. Something I didn't have with Morgana." Carth shoved himself away from the control panel and made his way to the main hold.

The sound of the low hum of a lightsaber reverberated around the ship. He made his way towards the sound. He past the medbay Jolee wasn't in there. Maybe it was him who was training. He peered into the cargo hold. It was Shira training. She had stripped off her robe and was wearing her old scouting uniform. The same one she was wearing when they first met. Her double bladed lightsaber shone a deep red lighting up the whole room. Carth cocked his head in confusion, Red? The colour of the Sith's lightsaber. When did she change it to red? Carth watched as Shira trained. Her body seemed to flow with the lightsaber, as if they were a single entity. Only the most skilled Jedi could wield a double bladed lightsaber. Shira was defiantly the most skilled Jedi. He knew that one slip of her concentration could result in her losing control. One wrong step, one wrong twist of the body could result in self amputation. Sweat beaded off her as her movements became fiercer. The lightsaber twisted and turn so fast in the air that soon only streaks of its colour could be seen. Shira face seemed like stone. No emotions could be read from her eyes. She seemed to stare at an invisible enemy, fighting it with all her will. Soon her body movement seemed to slow until she finally stopped. The colour from her lightsaber faded away as she placed it back on her belt. The cargo hold seemed to be darker place now. Shira didn't seem to notice Carth standing at the door as she gulped down a bottle of water.

Carth cleared his throat to gain her attention.

She turned and smiled at him, "oh hello"

"hey"

Shira wiped the sweat from her forehead, "I was just testing some new modifications to my lightsaber. It is now lighter and can do a hell of a lot more damage."

"it is also red" Carth pointed out.

Shira frowned, "yeah so?"

"red, as in the colour the dark Jedi use."

"oh give me a break" she groaned in frustration, "just because they use the colour red doesn't mean I can't"

Carth placed his hands up defensively, "I know. I am just saying that it's their trade mark."

Shira was silent for a moment and Carth could see anger in her eyes."Carth I like the colour. It doesn't mean I have fallen or anything" suddenly her face stiffened and her eyes seemed distant. Carth knew that look. Another memory from her past was seeping back. Shira shook her head, "I remember when I made my first lightsaber, as all Padawans have to do. I made the colour of it red. My master gave me a blue crystal, the colour of a Jedi guardian. But I didn't like it. I had found a red crystal in my training and I had been saving it for my first lightsaber. It caused a stir with my masters but nothing they said could make me change it."

Carth smiled, "alright point taken."

"Besides it looks pretty when I twirl it really fast"

Carth chuckled slightly.

Silence soon filled the room. Carth wanted to talk to her about everything. They had only a day at the most before they hit the Star Forge. He wanted to speak. To say something. But he couldn't seem to form the words. The only thing he could seem to say was, "it will take a day at the most until we reach the Star Forge. Who knows what will be waiting for us I guess it's a good thing your training."

Shira looked down at her hands, "I guess we will have to face Malak again"

"yeah" was all he could say.

Shira opened her mouth as if to continue the topic but she snapped it shut in an instant.

There was silence between them again. Carth didn't know what to do. He moved to leave when Shira called for him.

"Carth, I think it's time we talked about me being Revan, don't you?"

Carth internally sighed thankful that she had brought up the subject he had been longing to talk about. "If you're ready to talk, then yes… so am I."

"and?"

Carth bowed his head, "I can't hate you. I tried… I wanted to hold you responsible for all the things you've done. For my… for my wife, for Telos… for Dustil. But I can't." He glanced back up at Shira waiting for her reply. He saw confusion and self hatred in her eyes. Did she want me to hate her?

Shira reply answered his question, "why can't you?"

Even though he could no longer hate her, it seemed that she still hated herself. I guess I can understand why he thought grimly. "I got the revenge I always wanted when Saul died." He explained, "But it hasn't brought me the peace, I thought it would." Carth paused trying to find the right way to explain how he felt, "all I can think of now is the promise that I made to protect you from what's going to come." Carth gazed into Shira eyes hoping that she could see, could sense his feelings. "it has given me a reason to look past simple revenge. Despite whatever part of Revan that is inside you, the darkness that must surly be there. It isn't who you are. That's why I can't hate you. Why I don't want anymore revenge." Carth inched closer to Shira "You don't have to be Revan you can be so much more. Whatever the Jedi did to you. They gave you that chance." Carth stepped closer and held her hands, "you have this huge destiny waiting for you, and I just fear that if you're alone it could swallow you whole. I mean, is there room in there for me? Will you let me help you?" Carth could feel his fear turning in his stomach. Please he prayed let there be room in there for me.

Tear slowly trickled from her eyes, "I don't want you hurt protecting me, Carth?"

Carth closed the gap between them and held her. He stroked her hair and could feel her tears soaking his shirt, "shhh" he whispered "I promise you I won't get hurt. I have to try and protect you somehow you have to let me try."

Shira gazed up at Carth, "okay" she whispered.

Carth smiled. She was going to let him help her. He could feel a weight being lifted off his shoulders at the thought. But telling her, he wanted to protect her wasn't enough. Carth took a deep breath and fought past his fear. He wanted to let his heart form the words for him. Carth pushed her away slightly so he could look at her, "whatever has happened up until this point, there's going to come a time very soon where you're going to have to make a choice, and there won't be any turning back. I want you to make the right choice. I want to give you a reason to."

Shira tried to wipe the tears from her eyes, "what sort of reason?"

Carth smiled warmly and placed his hand on her cheek softly wiping the tears away with his thumb, "you gave me a future." Carth paused. He could feel his heart racing, and he tried his best to keep his hands from shaking. "I want to give you a future too. With me. I think I could love you." What are you saying you think! You do love her, you fool! "if you give me the chance."

Carth could see colour rise to her cheeks as she smiled, "I think I could love you, too."

Carth felt his heart soar, "well I'm… I'm glad. Let's face the future together. There's still a lot to do."

Shira smiled. Joy dancing in her eyes.

This was the moment. The perfect moment, Carth had been waiting for. He didn't know what waited for them on the Star Forge. However, he now knew for sure, that she wanted a future with him. That she felt the same, and he wasn't going to let anything tear that away from him. More than anything, he wanted to show her his passion for her while they still had time. He wanted to share that intimate bond that only two people in love could truly share. Her sweet scent wafted through his nose making him yearn for the touch of her skin. He could see it in her eyes, she wanted the same thing. Carth didn't hesitate. He leaned down and covered her lips with his. He deepened the kiss. Shira groaned with pleasure as she returned the kiss. Carth knew that sheer kissing wouldnt satisfy the hunger he felt for her. Carth lifted her up into his arms, never breaking the kiss and carried her to his room.

Carth laid Shira gently down on the bed. He made sure to lock the door so they would never be disturbed. He gazed at her for a brief moment, soaking in all her beauty. He hungered for her more than he could even imagine. He hungered for the touch of her skin, for the warmth and softness of her body. Shira mouth curved slightly. He could see that she hungered for him to. He moved towards her and passionately kissed her again. His tongue explored the inside of her mouth. She tasted so sweet. He moved his lips to her neck and he began to softly kiss her. His kisses trailed down to the top of her shirt. Shira moaned in pleasure. He could feel his desire pressing against her and she ached her back so her hips grinned against it. Before he knew it Shira flipped him on his back. She straddled him and began to slowly grind against him. That simple act drove him insane. Shira ripped open his shirt and began to kiss him down his bare chest. Each kiss sent sparks through his body and he wasn't able to hold back a groan. Shira smiled at the sound and began to grind faster. Carth couldn't take it anymore he sat up and persistently kissed her before ripping her shirt off. He gazed at her beautiful chest, "god you are beautiful" he whispered. Carth caressed her breasts with his hands. They fitted perfectly in his hands. Shira gasp a little at the first touch of flesh-to-flesh. He took one of her perfect breast in his mouth and began to tongue the tip of the nipple. Shira gasped in surprise and delight. Carth carefully flipped Shira onto her back and they removed the rest of their close. Carth embrace wander, caressing her boldly. He could feel her move into his touch. He traced his fingers over her stomach. He savored every touch of her sensual curves. He reached out towards her hair and removed the clip, freeing her long beautiful hair. He ran his fingers through her soft hair. He inhaled her sweet scent. It acted like a powerful drug filing his senses. He softly kissed her neck making his way down to her breast. She moaned with pleasure as he kissed her, arousing him even more. She was everything he dreamed of. He moved his hand down to her groin and stroked the inside of her with his fingers, making her tremble and arch her body and close her eyes in pleasure. Her moans and groans egged him on until he couldn't hold back. He buried himself inside her. She arched her back to meet him. Sheer ecstasy filled him as he continued to thrust into her. He could feel Shira wrap her legs around his hips. Her body seemed to shudder with pleasure as she arch her hips to follow his rhythm. He could hear her call his name. It aroused him more making him thrust deeper. In this moment, nothing else existed. It was them and only them that mattered. For this one moment, they were the same person. Carth cried out her name and kissed her greedily. He could feel himself almost reaching bursting point, and in one last thrust, he released.

Carth rolled off Shira and held her close. They were both panting. Sweat rolling off their naked bodies. But Carth wouldn't let go of her. He gazed down at Shira, and she grinned back up at him. For a long time, they just held each other, smiling and gazing in one another's eyes until they finally fell asleep.

-()-()-

Carth was beginning to stir awake but a part of him was scared that Shira wouldn't be in his arms if he opened his eyes. Reluctantly, he opened them and found Shira still curled up next to him. He smiled and gazed at her. A strand of her messy hair covered the side of her face. Carth softly moved it away trying not to wake her. He didn't want this moment to end. He didn't want to leave this bed, this room, or even this ship. Carth hadn't felt this complete since Morgana but in saying that apart of him knew that he cared more about Shira then his late wife. He felt no guilt in this. He knew that he had let go of his wife the moment, he met Shira. He knew that Morgana could rest in piece, with Saul death and the knowledge that Carth was happy.

Shira began slowly tossing and turning in his arms. Her smile had faded away, and she began to mumble. Carth wonder if she was having a nightmare or if another memory of Revan was slipping in.

"I'm sorry" she whispered in her sleep.

Carth didn't reply.

"I'm sorry" she whispered again "I am so sorry this is the only way"

Carth looked down at her confused who is she talking to?

"I must do this Malak you do not need to follow me"

She's talking to Malak? It must be another memory.

"I know this is forbidden but so was fighting in the war. If I do this maybe I can use its power to help the Republic."

Help the Republic? Is this a memory from when they discovered the Star Forge?

"Yes I know Malak. I know that this has the taint of the darkside. I know the risk of corruption is great, but I must try" Shira tossed away from Carth's arm as her dream continued. "Do you feel that power Malak? Just imagine what we can do with this power. But before we continue, there is no turning back and know that I am sorry if anything happens. Now come our destiny awaits us"

Shira tossed and turn violently he could feel a raw power surge from her. Suddenly, she clutched onto Carth chest, as if she was afraid of something. Shira began to shiver. Carth stroked her hair and trying to sooth her. Shira eyes fluttered open and she gazed up at Carth.

"Another bad memory?" He asked

Shira nodded, "it was the moment when I began to fall to the darkside. When I discovered the Star Forge"

"from the sound of it you thought you could use it to help the Republic"

Shira looked at him surprised, "how did you…"

"you were talking in your sleep"

Shira cheeks flushed, "well… yes… I thought I could control the power and use it to help the Republic. I thought I was strong enough to fight the darkside. But I was wrong and I was consumed by the immense power. I became what I never wanted to be. A Sith."

"What about Malak? Did he want to be a Sith?"

Shira paused, "I don't honestly know. He was very much like Bastila but he loved the rush of fighting." Shira look away in shame, "I'm sorry Carth"

Carth hugged Shira, "for what? For the fact that you remember something from your past, you cannot help that."

"I know but…"

"Shira, they are only memories. It is nothing to be sorry about"

Shira smiled returned and Carth kissed her tenderly on the lip. She hummed with joy at his touch.

Shira smiled up at him cheekily, "I think we have time for another go, are you up for it?"

He kissed her again, "just try and stop me"

-()-()-

Carth and Shira made their way to the cockpit. They were about to arrive at the Star Forge. Carth sat down in his chair and ready the ship to leave hyperspace. Carth didn't know what to expect when they arrived and Shira sure wasn't giving him any hints to what it looked like. He was cautious though and made sure the turrets were ready, in case they flew into a fight. Carth looked down at the control panel. One minute until they leave hyperspace. The tension was killing him. Finally, the wait was over. The lights of hyperspace disappeared, and they were surrounded by stars. Carth could see that they were flying close to a sun. They was something hovering over the sun though, it seemed to be sucking in its heat and rays. As they got closer the more they could see of this massive station. It was surround by an armada of Sith

Carth stared in wonder, "the Star Forge. I've never seen anything like it." He frantically began to type at the control panel, "I'm transmitting these coordinates to admiral Dodonna. It will be a quick strike from the Republic, could cripple the Sith fleet. Message is away." Carth looked up and stared at the Star Forge again "now we just wait for the Republic to show up." He glanced over at Shira, who was standing next to him, "we should be safe here. We're outside their sensor range..." The ship's control panel suddenly lit up, and alarm bells rang catching Carth attention. "Small vanguards of Sith fighters coming in hard. Someone needs to get on those gun turrets" He heard Shira running off, and he yelled after her, "Take those fighters out before they report our position to the main fleet."

-()-()-

Carth watched his radar as the last Sith fighter was destroyed. But he had no time to feel relief. During the fight he had to evade the fighter's attacks and it seemed that he had flown right into something. All of Carth controls began flaring up and the alarms rang loudly. Carth did his best to take back control of the ship. Carth hit the com button, "Ah, we've got problems. We've flown into some kind of disrupter field. All my instruments are jammed. We've got massive overloads in all systems. I'm picking up a single planet in the system. I'll try and put us down there. Hold on this may be a rough landing." Carth latched onto the edge of his seat and prepared for impact.


	20. Chapter 20 Unknown planet

Chapter 20 – Unknown World

The Ebon Hawk plummeted down towards the unknown planet. Carth frantically tried to gain some control of the ship as the disrupter field brought them closer to crashing. He could see out of the corner of his eyes images of crashed republic ship. The image caught his attention and he glanced its way. There close it the republic ship wreckage was a clearing on the beach. If Carth could gain control of the ship he might be able to land it there. The Ebon Hawk's controls refused to work. They refused to obey Carth's orders. Panic started to set in. The Ebon Hawk was on a direct course to hit the beach cliff side. As they got closer to the surface it began to violently shake. Suddenly it lurched in the air throwing Carth from his seat. He scrambled back to his seat and stared down at his controls. They were no longer flashing. The alarms were no longer ringing. The cockpit was now eerily silent. We must have left the disrupter field range he thought to himself with a sigh of relief. Finally he could take back control. However it still wasn't easy guiding the ship to a safe landing. Key parts of the ship were damage. Thankfully he was able to get the landing gears to activate and the Ebon Hawk landed with a solid thump.

Carth ran out of the cockpit searching for Shira. The crash had been rough. He needed make sure that she was okay. As he ran through the ship to the turret guns, where Shira last was, he jumped and dodged past parts of the ship that had been dislodged by the crash. Across from the ladder to the turret gun was the med bay. There Shira sat clutching onto the bed.

"Shira!" he cried, "Are you alright? Is anything broken?"

Shira smiled and giggled, "I am fine Carth, although your landing skills do need a little work"

Carth relaxed and laughed, "Well next time we are crash landing I will hand over the controls to you."

Shira raised her hands in mock defense, "oh no piloting is your thing fly boy"

Carth gazed at her in silence for a few moments before he embraced her. He smiled at the familiar touch of her body. "I'm glad you are safe" he whispered

-()-()-

Before the whole crew gathered in the main hold Carth check the ships stabilizers. He prayed that they were not damaged in the crash. He checked the system it seemed that the ships mechanics wernt to badly damage and the chance of being airborne was realistic. So far nothing needed to be replaced only needed to be rewired. However even with most of the systems working the ships stabilizers were fried and there was no way he would be able to repair it without the right parts. He sighed and shook his head; the others will need to know he thought grimly.

He entered the main hold and Mission began to playfully mock him. "Few! Talk about your rough landing, Carth. What's the matter your flying like you have been on an all night tarisian ale drinking binge."

Carth didn't even bother to glare at her. He turned to the others and explained the situation, "that disrupter field fried our stabilizers. We're lucky we made it down in one piece but if I cant find the salvage to make the repairs. I wont even be able to get the Ebon Hawk airborne again."

"During our rather rapid descent, I notices the hauls of many crashed ships scattered across the landscape. Perhaps the parts you need, can be found among the wreckage." Juhani suggested.

Canderous grunted, "The Cathar is right. This planets a technological grave yard, I saw dozens of downed ships out there. That disrupter field must have whipped them all out." He paused and scratched his chin, "where could it be coming from?"

Carth sighed they have a point but that not enough to get us off this planet. "Even if we get the stabilizers fixed, we have to find and disable the source of the disrupter field before we can take off. Otherwise we'll end up crashing again."

Shira slumped lazily against the table and stared at the others, "I wonder why the Sith ships aren't affected by the disrupter field?"

Carth rubbed his face with his hands slowly becoming more frustrated with this situation, "they must have some kind of protection against it" he sighed. Suddenly a disturbing thought entered his mind. The Republic fleet they will be on there way to the Star Forge and with this disrupter field they will be whipped out. And as if his thought spilled out of his mouth he said, "but the Republic fleet wont. We have to find a way to disable that disrupter field, or the Sith will slaughter them." We could fail the entire galaxy if we don't destroy the Star Forge. We mist find a way to… Carth's thoughts were cut short as T3 began erratically beeping

Mission seemed to understand T3 and moved towards the ships sensors at the end of the room. "T3 picking up massive power fluctuations on the ships sensors. They seemed to be coming from a large stone structure to the east… it looks like some kind of ancient temple."

Shira furrowed her brow and shouted, "you all seem to be forgetting about Bastila!"

The main hold was silent. A pang of guilt touched Carth's heart as he remembered Bastila. Carth moved towards her, softly placing his hand on her shoulder. He could understand her outburst. She was worried and felt responsible for Bastila capture. Carth softened his tone before he spoke. "We haven't forgotten about her but we wont do her much good if we're stuck down here. We have to help ourselves before we can help her". He could feel her shoulders relaxed as she sighed. She turned and gazed up him before nodding.

Juhani sighed "I only hope we are not to late. Bastila has been Malak's prisoner for a long time… if he can turn her to the darkside, she will join him and the Sith will be invincible."

Carth felt Shira body tense at Juhani words, "Bastila would never turned to the darkside!" she cried.

Jolee bowed his head, "I fear Bastila will find the lure of the darkside difficult to resist. She is strong in The Force. But she is impulsive, willful, and proud. As you once were Revan"

Shira stood up furiously throwing Carth's hand away as she screamed at Jolee, "Don't call me that! I'm not Revan anymore!"

Jolee only smiled at her outburst, "I'm glad to hear that. Now that you know your true identity, I was afraid that you might slip back over to the darkside. If Bastila feels as you do, there may yet be hope for her."

"well if Bastila on the Star Forge as you think, Jolee." Interrupted Carth, "we can't rescue her until we disable that disrupter field. The sooner we investigate that temple to the east, the better. We could probably find the wreckage of a downed ship along the way. If we're lucky we can salvage some stabilizers to get off this planet."

"I hope everything works out as smoothly as you make it sound Carth" Mission said while shaking her head.

"well so do I Mission. So do I" he replied wryly.

Shira took in a deep breath and turned to the other, "right then. I guess we better get started. Canderous you come with me, just incase we run into any hostile natives. You to HK, I will need you to look out for the stabilizers. Everyone else listen to Carth and try to help him with repairs, hopefully I won't be gone to long" Everyone nodded. She turned looking as if she was going to the cargo bay "I will meet you boys at the ramp in a few minuets"

Carth could see the pain in her eyes. Her slump shoulders and her missing smile. The fact that Jolee called her Revan had cut her deep. Carth chase after Shira as she walked away. He grabbed her arm and turned her towards him. "hey, are you alright?"

Shira didn't bother to smile; "I'm not Revan" was all she could muster

Carth pulled her close and held her tightly, stroking her hair. "I know you're not Revan"

"but Jolee…"

"Jolee is an old fool" Carth gazed down at her eyes, "hey where is my strong Jedi? Where is Shira?"

Shira smiled and laughed "I'm right here"

Carth smiled back and tenderly kissed her lips, "you be careful out there"

"aren't I always?"

Carth laughed.

-()-()-

It was several hours before Shira returned to the ship with the parts that he needed. Carth wanted to talk to her. He wanted to make sure that everything was going smoothly. But she didn't stay long on the ship she didn't even give Carth the parts HK did. Before he even had a chance to find her they were back on the planets surface and Carth knew better then to stall the ships repairs by going after her. The entire time Carth worked on the ship he could not shake this dark present in the air. It was similar to what he felt on Korriban but this… it was more subtle, like it was an assassin hiding in the shadows waiting to attack. It worried Carth. He remembered what Shira was like of Korriban. How the taint in its air seem to change who she was. He was afraid that it was going to happen again. He promised to protect her. Promise to be there for her so she would never fall and here he was repairing the ship, helpless to do anything.

Carth was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he almost missed the commotion that was coming from the main hold. He made his way into the room just in time to witness Shira storming off away from Jolee and Juhani.

Jolee noticed Carth standing in the hall, "maybe you can talk some sense into her"

Carth raised his brow, "what's going on?"

"she is determined to enter that damned temple all on her own"

"what?"

Before Jolee could reply Carth was half way off the ship running after Shira.

-()-()-

Carth finally caught up to Shira as she was exiting the beach. "Shira are you crazy!"

She turned glaring at him, "I suppose the old fool told you."

"yes he told me! What are you thinking heading off in there alone?"

"please Carth!" she snapped, "I am not a fragile little girl I can look after myself"

"I know but…"

"but nothing, Carth. I am heading into that temple alone. I am going to obey the Rakata's tradition. I am going to be fine"

"you don't know what's in there!"

"Carth!"

He was about to continue but snapped his mouth shut instead.

Shira eyes softened and she lowered her voice, "Carth I do not need you or anyone coddling me. I'm tired of it. Please trust me that I will be okay"

He bowed his head, "I just don't… I just cant stand the thought that I could lose you"

Shira placed a soft hand on his cheek, gazing into his eyes, "I promise I am not going to disappear on you."

Carth placed his hand over hers and then moved into kiss her. "Be careful" he whispered

-()-()-

Carth sat at the exit ramp staring out onto the beach. It had been hours since Shira left and only a few minuets since Jolee and Juhani ran after her babbling about some sort of premonition and the fact that Bastila could be in the temple. He stared blankly at the beach not realizing that Canderous had sat down next to him.

"calm down solider boy. Shira will be safe. She still has a lot of Revan in her"

Carth was to tired to shout but he still manage to hiss, "she is not Revan anymore"

Canderous grunted, "true, but she still fights like Revan and still as smart and talented as Revan. She no longer holds Revan dark spirit anymore."

"you sound almost disappointed"

Canderous chuckled, "no more then any other Mandalorian that fought in the war. It would have been an honor to meet the original Revan. The one that defeated us"

Carth glared at Canderous who only smiled back at him

"Calm down solider boy. I do prefer her this way"

Carth face softened and he smiled, "so do I"

Canderous stood with a grunt, "well the best man won"

Carth glanced up at him, "huh?"

"the best man won her heart"

Carth smiled, "oh yes"

"Canderous shook his head, "I honestly don't know what she sees in you"

-()-()-

By the time Carth had finished all his repairs the sun was starting to set. T3 informed them that Shira and the others were heading back to the ship. Carth ran out onto the beach and waited and soon the others joined him. Once Shira turned the corner Carth could feel his heart jump for joy. She was safe.

Carth ran to embrace her but as Jolee and Juhani turned the corner he realized Bastila wasn't with them. Thousands of questions ran through Carth's mind, "You're back! But where's Bastila? Is she alive? What happen inside that temple?"

Shira didn't look Carth in the eyes, "Bastila has fallen to the darkside. She fled to the Star Forge."

No! "the darkside? Bastila? No! no how could that happen?"

Jolee stepped forward, "she was always in danger at being seduced by the darkside, Carth. Bastila was strong but she was always impatience and headstrong. Malak preyed upon her weakness. This planet is a tainted place. The Star Forge and the temple have twisted the force into an instrument of evil. Just as Malak has twisted Bastila into a servant of the Sith".

The whole time Jolee spoke Carth did not remove his gaze from Shira. She still hadn't met his eyes and it worried him. Was she ashamed? Is she scared? Did she… did she become tainted by the darkside in there?

When Shira looked up at Jolee, Carth could see fear in her eyes, "She can still be saved, cant she?" She pleaded.

Jolee shook his head, "Malak has a strong hold on Bastila now. It will be difficult for her to break free of his influence. Especially after her long association with you, remember the bond that was forged between you when she rekindled the spark that was your life. Through that bond she touched your memories and also the echo of the dark taint within you"

Raged flared up inside of Carth how dare you blame her for Bastila fall. He wanted to scream at Jolee but all he could say is "but there's still hope for her right? I mean Revan rejected the darkside so Bastila could to right? We still might be able to save her"

Shira finally met his eyes, "We can try… we will"

Juhani then stepped forward, "I don't know what fate awaits us but I sense Bastila still has a roll to play in the events to come. I have no doubt she will be waiting for us on the Star forge."

"no doubt" agreed Jolee. He then smiled at Shira, "I must say it's good to have you with us my dear. For a minuet there I thought you might decide… well never mind what I thought"

Carth heart sank he didn't want to think Shira almost turned on them,"decide? Decide what?"

Juhani was the one to answer, "Bastila tried to turn her to the darkside. To reclaim Revan's heritage. She failed"

Carth couldn't hold back his grin she did it! he cheered in his head. When Carth spoke his voice was shaky as he tried to hold back his pure joy. "so… you did it? you turned against Revan once and for all. I… I knew she wasn't apart of you anymore. I…I knew it"

Shira sweetly smiled back at Carth, "I chose the light side. It's true"

Carth ran and embraced her tightly in his arms, "I told you that you would have to make a choice eventually. That you would be tested, I think that was it. I… I feel it and you did exactly what I hoped you would. It couldn't have been easy I'm… I'm very proud of you"

Shira gazed up into Carth's eyes, "I could never do what Bastila did"

Carth felt his heart lift, "I know. I can't blame Bastila for being turned over. She's so young and doesn't deserve this kind of fate." Carth felt his heart rise into his throat, "I… I love you and I cant wait until all this is over with."

Carth could see Shira eye's twinkle as she replied, "I love you to"

At hearing those words Carth could no longer control himself. He kissed her passionately not caring that the other saw them. He could hear Mission complain and the others defending them but he took no notice. Shira was the only one in the entire galaxy that mattered to him.

-()-()-

Once the ship was out of the planets atmosphere Carth contacted the Admiral. She and one of the Jedi masters spoke to him and informed them on what needed to be done. Once that was concluded the entire team gathered in the main hold. They discussed their plan of action. Once everything was organized Carth sat in the pilot's seat and stared out at the Star Forge. The battle had already begun and he waited for the Republic fighters to join the Ebon Hawk so they could sneak into the Star Forge.

Carth could see in the reflection of the window, Shira entering the cockpit. "this is it" he said "we are almost at the end of our mission"

Shira smiled but did not speak

He turned to her, "we will make it through this"

"I know. It's just… soon we will have to face Malak. I don't know what will happen once I face him"

"I know what will happen"

Shira looked at him confused

"you will beat him" he said proudly

"you have a lot of faith in me"

Carth stood and held her, "of course I do. I love you"

"I love you to"

Carth never got sick of hearing that, "no matter what happens I will be by your side"

"Thank you Carth"

They lovingly kissed each other before the Republic fighters radio Carth telling him to follow.


	21. Chapter 21 The Star Forge

Chapter 21 – The Star Forge

This was it. The Star Forge was only a few meters away. The sound of blaster fire echoed around the ship. Carth didn't notice blasts all he could see was the entrance to the Star Forge. To his right he heard Shira gasp in horror as one of the Jedi knight's ship exploded next to them. The blast rattled the ship but it didn't stop him. Carth's fingers danced over the control panel, making the Ebon Hawk as quick as lighting. Only a few more seconds and they would be able to land. A few more seconds and the real danger would begin. Carth flicked the landing gear on and the Ebon Hawk smoothly hit the flight pad.

The crew was gathered in the main hold for one last debrief. Carth looked around the room at each of their faces. Mission was keeping her cool but fear was written in her eyes. Zaalbar stood close to Mission, sharp claws poked out of the matted fur on his paws. Carth knew that Zaalbar was ready to protect Mission and Shira no matter what. Carth then look at the two Jedi's, their faces blank and calm. Canderous was different though, he had a giant grin on his face. Canderous fingers slightly twitched eager for battle, Carth wondered if the Mandalorian Wars was on Canderous mind, even if it wasn't, the Mandalorian buzzed with excitement. There was nothing to see with the droids except for the fact that HK kept playing with his rifle, clearly annoyed at the lull in battle. Carth's eyes then wondered to Shira. If anyone looked at her they would see confidence steaming off of her but Carth knew better. He knew that she was scared not only at the coming battle but at what would happen to her when she faced Malak. Carth was afraid. He was afraid of losing the battle. Afraid of the Sith taking over the galaxy. Most of all he was afraid of losing her. He knew that he would kill anyone who tried to touch Shira. Her eye's then caught his and she smiled. With that one simple smile, Carth could feel his fear dripping away. They were all ready and there was no more time to waste.

"this is it" he announced, "We are on the Star Forge and we all know what we must do"

Everyone nodded.

Shira stepped forward and every ones eyes were on her, "Today we all fight, because we are going to need all the strength that we have. We must find Bastila and we must stop her before we can destroy the Star Forge." Shira frowned "it won't be easy, she has fallen very far, I will try everything in my power to turn her back to the lightside but if I can't" she stopped as if the words were going to hurt her, "I will kill her"

Mission gasped, "No Shira you can't"

Shira straightened her back assuming the role of the commander, "Mission I must, if it is the only option"

"Cant you just…"

"Mission!" She snapped "I do not want to kill her"

"she is right Mission" Jolee sighed, "we will have to kill her if it is our only option"

"I…" Mission bowed her head, "I know" she murmured in defeat.

Shira weakly smiled, "That is only one part of our mission. We must find the command center and turn off the defense turrets. We must also find something to hack into and get the Star Forge blueprints. We need to find its weak point and send it to the Republic that way it can be destroy quickly and efficiently. Lastly we must find Malak" The room went eerily quite for just a few moments, "right now we have the element of surprise so we need to make this quick. Mission and Juhani, you both have stealth skills I want you to find the Star Forge blue prints"

The two women nodded

Shira turned away from them, "Jolee and Zaalbar, I want you to find some way to slow down the construction of Sith fleets. The less of them at the end of this battle the easier it will be for the Republic fleet."

"once that is done we will join any Jedi knights left and help them" Jolee matter of factly.

"good idea, now…"

"Question: Master will you take me with you? Statement: I so would love to crush the meatbag Malak skull" HK interrupted

Shira laughed, "and I would not deny you of that pleasure. That said Canderous and HK you will come with me to stop to find Bastila and stop Malak. I have a feeling that they will be near to command center. Once we are there we should be able to shut off the Star Forges defense turrets. T3, Carth you stay on the ship and prepare a quick getaway"

Carth's eyes widened in shock she has to be kidding me "what?" he cried "hell no! I will not allow you to leave me on this ship"

Shira eye jolted towards his. He could tell she was trying to keep her air of command when she spoke to him, "Carth I need the ship ready to leave"

Carth wasn't going to let her do this, "no T3 can do that on his own"

"oh really, Carth?" she spat, "then why didn't we let T3 be pilot all this time. No we need you to do it"

What has gotten into her? Why is she talking to me like this "why are you doing this?"

"oi" Canderous shouted, "you two have this lover spat another time. We don't have time for this"

"Stay out of this Canderous" Carth snapped before grabbing Shira arm and pulling her away from the main hold. She struggled at first and then she followed. He let go of her and she glared at him, "what has gotten into you Shira?" he hissed

Shira focus her glare on him, "you know that we need someone to prepare the ship for a gateway"

"that's bullshit! T3 can protect and prepare the ship for a gateway. What is this really about? And why are you glaring at me?"

Shira dropped her glare and look away from Carth.

"what are you afraid of, Shira?" he asked lovingly

She did look at him, "I'm afraid of losing you. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if you died protecting me."

Carth softly placed his hand on her chin and lifted it so she would look at him, "and I wouldn't be able to keep on living if I knew that you died and I couldn't help you. Please don't leave me on this ship" he whispered

"but…"

"even if you did I would just follow you" He chuckled, "an army of millions wouldn't be able to stop me from protecting you"

Shira smiled and he knew he had won, "I love you" she whispered

Carth leant down and kissed her, "I love you to" he smiled

Suddenly Mission walked into their line of sight and cleared her voice, "Shira. Carth. The Jedi knights are outside the ship we have to go"

Shira smiled at Carth then nodded to Mission. She walked back out into the main hold and cleared her throat, "T3 will stay and protect the ship, Carth will come with me, HK, and Canderous"

Thank you Carth thought as he watched Shira

Shira turned to T3 "T3 once we leave the ship set the automated guns on, once you see any of us coming towards the ship open the loading ramp. Make sure the ship is ready to leave"

T3 beep at Shira command

Shira then turned to the rest of the crew, "everyone keeps your com links on. They have all been registered to the ships sensors, so if any of you come towards the ship it will know not to shoot. I will contact you all over the com link when I need you to return to the ship" she stopped and looked around the ship, "this is it everyone. The galaxy fate is in our hands. Once we win the battle, and we will win this battle. People will tell stories of your bravery. Your names will go down in history and you children and your children, children will forever be proud of you."

The crew began to buzz with excitement even Carth could feel it buzzing within himself

Shira smiled cheekily, "once we return from this drinks are on me. Now" Carth could see her glow with pride, "may the force be with you"

-()-()-

Once they all exited the ship, they all split up. Carth, Shira, Canderous, and HK walked toward the three Jedi knights ahead of them.

The leader of them, a young woman spoke, "you made it! Several Jedi have already gone ahead into the Star Forge. We have to strike while we still have the element of surprise. If we don't stop Bastila from using her Battle Meditation, the entire Republic fleet will be wiped out. Come on before they…" Behind the group of Jedi knights a small team of dark Jedi emerged. The young Jedi knight drew her lightsaber, "Damn! So much for capturing them unprepared, we'll deal with theses Sith you get into the Star Forge and stop Bastila. Hurry!" Without another word the Jedi knight joined her companions in the fight.

Shira nodded and ran to the elevator that led them to the Star Forge. Carth wanted to stay and help the other Jedi, he felt that it was wrong to leave them behind. They are Jedi Knights he thought to himself they are trained for this. They can handle it. Carth glance ahead to Shira your main focus is to keep her safe. Once they arrived at the elevator they found it had been lockdown. HK ran to its side panel, ripping it open and begun hacking into its controls. It only took several second for him to get it back online. Carth looked back at the Jedi knights. They had all fallen and the Sith's were running straight for them. Carth, Canderous, and HK lined in front of Shira, trying to shield her. But before they even have a chance to fire at the Sith, they could hear the guns on the Ebon Hawk charging up. Then in blink of an eye it fired at the Sith, killing every single one of them.

"Statement: I see my calibration and upgrades of the ships guns are working well"

"you upgraded them?" Carth asked in surprise, "why didn't you tell me?"

"Statement: My calculations told me that you would not have let me touch the ships gun. I would not let you distrust undermined the safety of my master"

Canderous chuckled, "god bless you HK"

Shira smiled at Carth, "and you thought it was a bad idea to get HK" she giggled

Carth grinned and shook his head, "for once I am glad to be wrong"

The elevator doors opened and they entered the belly of the beast

-()-()-

Carth wished for once things would be easy. Oh how he wished that they could just walk through the Star Forge and no one would attack them. Of course he was wrong and all that they saw were battle droid after battle droids. Carth hoped that would be about all that they had to face. But no he was wrong again. The battle droids were just on the first level, the next one the faced an endless wave of Sith soldiers and Jedi's. As the battles raged on he was sure that his pistols would explode from over heating. But they stayed true and faithful to him and never faltered. Carth tried to the best of his ability to stay by Shira side, but she was to fast and was always ahead of him. Cutting through the enemy like they were butter. Even though he could not be next to her during the fight he sure as hell was able to stop any of the Sith from even getting a chance to hit her. If once charged at her, Carth would aim for the Sith head and shoot. Their bodies usually fell limp and lifeless meter away from Shira. The rush of battle filled Carth. It reminded him of the first time he and Shira ever fought together. Their attacks were perfectly in sync even with over a dozen of enemy charging towards them.

None of them knew where they were going but they trusted that Shira's link to Bastila would lead them in the right direction. Their trust was wise as they soon made it to the elevator to the command center.

Shira stared at the elevator door, "this is it. We are close"

Carth strolled towards Shira and placed his hand on her shoulder, "don't worry I know you can talk sense into her."

Shira shook her head, "she is a right fool to let things go this far" she sighed, "she didn't listen to me the first time I don't know if she will now"

"Statement: the weak will female meatbag turned to the darkside to be you master. She is a fool who deserves to die"

"As much as I like blood shed. I see the importance of her being alive" Canderous grunted

"I will admit I am angry at Bastila for betraying us but the Republic will need her while they rebuild and so will the Jedi" Carth commented

"Statement: it is the greatest strategic plan to keep her alive, master, even if she is a fool. However, you say the word and I will snap her neck"

Shira opened the elevator doors, "I agree with you all. I will do my best. Come we better hurry"

-()-()-

There she was sitting in the middle of the room. Bastila turned to face them with her usual smug face. Stupid brat he instantly thought at the sight of her. Carth kept his pistols aimed at Bastila. Canderous and HK noticed this and did the same. Carth was glad that they wanted to protect Shira no matter what, even though their reasons were different from his. Bastila ignored them her eyes were fixed on Shira. Carth could see fear in them he hoped that maybe her fear of Shira would make it easier to turn her back to the light.

"Revan – I knew you'd come for me" Bastila said smugly

Shira sighed. Carth could tell she was trying to calm herself down. He could feel her anger from Bastila betrayal streaming off of her. "I'll never give up on you, Bastila. I know you can still be saved" Shira said in her calmest voice.

"you're wasting your time. I have seen the Jedi for what they are, weak and afraid. The Sith are the true masters of The Force."

Carth could feel his own anger towards Bastila growing. His anger was slowly replacing the shock that he felt when Bastila turned to the darkside. Stupid child Carth though bitterly

Bastila smug smiled turned into one of disgust, "you've forgotten that lesson. Now you must pay the price. Here on the Star Forge the power of the darkside is at its strongest. This time you will not defeat me"

Carth noticed the twitch of Bastila fingers. He knew what she was about to do. Carth would not allow Bastila to attack Shira, not if there was something he could do about it. Before Bastila even had a chance to raise her hand, Carth charge towards her, tackling her to the ground. Bastila threw him off her with The Force. Carth landed on the other side of the room but as soon as he hit the ground he jumped up and began to fire at her. She began to slowly stroll towards Carth, reflecting away each of his shots with her lightsaber. The others tried to attack but she used the Force to freeze them.

"How clever of you to know what I was going to do" she said

"you Sith are so predicable. Malak used that trick on us once and I would be a fool to allow it happen again" He spat

Bastila laughed, "well I will be sure to use new tricks when I kill Shira"

"you will not touch her! Not while I am here!"

"oh how romantic of you Carth" she snarled, "to try and protect the woman you love. How pathetic"

Carth glared at Bastila, "I am not the pathetic one Bastila!"

"you know Carth I always liked you. Yes you would undermine my authority and sometimes treat me like a child, but I enjoyed that challenge from you. There was always something about you that caught my fancy, but of course I was a Jedi then and I ignored what I felt. Then once I noticed the pathetic puppy dog eyes you had every time you looked at Revan, a part of me became jealous. You know that was one of the many reasons I chose the darkside. Malak could sense that jealousy and he told me that if I turned I could take whatever I wanted. So really it was partly your fault that I turned"

Carth said nothing and kept firing.

"of course it wasn't just you. I wanted Revan's power. I could feel an echo of her dark power in her mind, I wanted it. I deserved it more then she did"

"I knew you were full of yourself" he scoffed, "but I didn't think you would be this childish and blame me or Shira for your weak will."

"I am not a child, Carth! I am not weak willed!" she shouted "I am stronger then I have ever been and I will show you"

Bastila was almost at Carth. He tried to move away but his feet were stuck to the ground. Suddenly he could feel a strange trickling sensation moving up his legs, into his chest and down his arms. Carth was frozen and there was no way for him to protect himself.

Bastila smiled, "oh look I caught you. I guess you are still a fool" she then leant up to Carth and pecked him on the lips "I have always wanted to do that" she laughed "and with Revan watching it was more enjoyable". Her eyes then shot towards the frozen figure of Shira and laughed, "I would suggest that you take one last look at your lover, Carth. For it will be the last thing you ever see. Your death will be the greatest insult to her"

Fear gripped Carth's heart as he saw Bastila raise her lightsaber above her head. He tried to shout 'I love you, Shira' but his lips were frozen. Bastila lightsaber came plummeting down and Carth prepared himself for death. There was a loud sizzling sound as Bastila lightsaber struck Shira's. Carth gazed at the angel in front of him. Shira pushed Bastila away. Fury clear in her eyes.

"you will pay for even trying to harm him" she snarled at Bastila

Bastila smiled, "you will not beat me here Revan"

"you want to bet?"

Bastila laughed, "bring it on Jedi scum"

Shira charged at Bastila screaming. The room echo with the sound of the lightsabers striking each other. Shira would lunge and strike at Bastila but she was able to dodge and block each attack. Every time Shira manage to hit Bastila, a surge of energy from the Star Forge itself would fill Bastila healing any wounds. This did not stop Shira she was on a mission. She would not stop her attack. She never gave Bastila a chance to attack as Shira constantly pummeled her with her lightsaber. Carth didn't know whether Shira was going to allow this battle to end with Bastila still alive. After several minuets of fighting Carth could see Bastila energy running low. Shira notice this to and struck Bastila, knocking her lightaber out of her hand. Bastila collapsed to the ground and her hold on Carth and the others vanished.

Bastila slowly got to her feet and gawked at Shira, "I see now why Malak followed you. Even though you are only a shell of your former self, you're still a formidable opponent. I can't even imagine the power that you must have wielded when you were the Dark Lord. You were a fool to give it all up and follow the lightside."

Carth couldn't bite back his tongue, "No Bastila you are the fool! How dare you even say that she is a shell of her former self, the only person here that is a shell of their former self is you."

Shira smiled at Carth's words. She held her lightsaber up towards Bastila and spoke calmly, "I am as strong in the light as I ever was following the darkside."

Bastila glared at Shira, "the darkside has made me stronger then I ever was before. I have a greater command of the force then all but the most powerful Jedi masters. As Malak teaches me the greatest secrets of the Sith, I will unlock more of my potential. Eventually there will be no limit to what I can accomplish with The Force."

"listen to yourself you foolish brat" Carth roared in anger, "Malak will kill you before you know it"

"you will accomplish death and destruction with the darkside, nothing else" Shira said agreeing with Carth.

Bastila stuck her noise up at them, "Jedi propaganda. The darkside is only a tool and Malak will train me in its use. Eventually I will surpass my master and challenge him. If I am worthy he will die by my hands. Then I will take on my own apprentice and the cycle will begin again. This is the way of the Sith. This is how we assure our leaders are always the strongest and most worthy"

"stupid bitch" Carth spat

"you're dooming yourself to an endless cycle of death and betrayal" Shira hissed

"no Reavn it is you who are doomed"

Bastila summoned the Star Forge's energy again, healing herself. But before Bastila had a chance to summon her lightsaber Shira struck her, knocking her to the ground. Bastila tried to stand up but Shira placed her foot on her chest, pinning her to the ground, Shira lightsaber pointed at her throat.

Bastila laughed, "you can't even be bothered in fighting me. You are growing weary, I can sense it. Your strength falters. The lightside is failing you while the power of the Star Forge reenergizes me. Soon this will all be over"

Shira retracted her lightsaber and lifted her foot off of Bastila, allowing her to get up, "then strike me down, Bastila. I won't defend myself."

What? Carth thought this must be a trick but he aimed his pistol at Bastila's head if that brat even tries to attack Shira it will be the last thing she does.

Bastila stared at Shira confused, "What type of trick is this?"

"Remember what you once were, Bastila" Shira pleaded "A Jedi would never strike down a defenseless opponent"

Bastila laughed, "I am a Sith apprentice now. You place too much faith in what I used to be and for that you shall pay"

Carth shot at Bastila, but she dodged the attack. Bastila summoned her lightsaber but before she even had a chance to use it Shira lifted her up with the Force and pinned her to the wall.

"no, this is not possible" Bastila gasped "you have rejected the darkside. You are a weak and pathetic servant of the light."

"Statement: you are the only one that seems like a weak and pathetic servant, meatbag"

"you are just like a broken record Bastila" Carth sneered

"yeah when I fought the Jedi at least they were better then you Sith. Always hammering on about something. If you're going to fight then fight stop wasting our time with your words" Canderous grunted

Shira chuckled

Bastila glared at all of them, "How can you still stand against me? Why can't I defeat you?" she screamed

"oh look the child is having a tantrum" Carth snickered

Shira shook her head, "now you see the darkside is not stronger than the light."

Bastila bowed her head, "yes I see you speak the truth, I am no match for you. Please for the sake of what we once shared, do no make me suffer. End my life quickly. There is no other way"

Carth rolled his eyes, "oh please don't give us that over dramatic bullshit"

"Gleeful Statement: Let me do it master. Let me break the whinny meathead's neck"

Shira glanced at Carth, "Carth please calm yourself."

Carth took a deep breath and released his anger, "only because you asked me to" he muttered

Shira smiled, "thank you Carth" she turned to HK "no HK you may not kill her"

"Disappointed statement: as you command, master"

Shira then turned back to Bastila, "There's no need for me to kill you, Bastila"

"what other choice do you have? I have fallen to the darkside. I am the apprentice to the Dark Lord himself, you cannot let me live."

"she has a point" Canderous muttered

"You can reject the darkside, Bastila. Return to the light." Shira said calmly

"no I am not strong enough. There is too much anger inside me now. Too much hatred and fear. I can no longer find peace in The Force". Bastila whimpered

Carth rolled his eyes but said nothing

Shira gently lowered Bastila to the ground, "turn to the Jedi code, Bastila. It can help you."

Bastila sighed, "I doubt mere words can help me now, but to appease you I will recite them. There is no emotion; there is peace. There is no ignorance; there is knowledge. There is no passion; there is serenity. There is no chaos; there is harmony. Strange but even now I find comfort in these words. I suppose old habits die hard. There is no death; there is The Force. Thank you, Revan. I am ready to face my fate now."

"help us defeat the Sith, Bastila. This will atone for what you have done." Shira said placing a hand on Bastila shoulder.

Bastila smiled, "yes I could join you in your battle against the Dark Lord. But that alone will not make up for all that I have done. Yet it would be a step in the right direction, but how would you be able to trust me? How do you know I wouldn't turn on you when you face Darth Malak? How would you know that the darkside wouldn't make me betray you again?"

Because I would kill you before you even had the chance Carth thought.

Shira sweetly smiled, "I trust you enough to leave myself open to your attack, Bastila."

Bastila looked away from Shira, "you play a dangerous game"

Yes very dangerous

"are you certain you wish to take this risk. I could end your life and gain Malak favor with a single stroke of my lightsaber."

Shira chuckled and patted Bastila on the shoulder, "you wont, Bastila. I know you still serve the lightside."

Bastila glanced at Shira with confusion, "you are brave and some would say foolish, but you are also right. The darkside has not wholly consumed me. I cannot raise my blade against you. I should stay here though. I we face Malak I fear his dark presence will overwhelm me. It would not be wise to expose myself to such temptations."

Shira smiled victoriously, "you could use your Battle Meditation to aid the Republic fleet."

Bastila smiled weakly, "yes that would be for the best. You don't need me to defeat Malak anyway. Now I understand that a true Jedi is a match for any Sith. Even the Dark Lord himself. I will stay here in this chamber and use my Battle Meditation to aid the Republic fleet. I am there only hope at destroying the Star Forge and ending the Sith menus"

Still as cocky and up yourself as ever

Bastila back away from Shira "you must go and face Malak but you have to hurry. Once I turn the battle to the Republic's favor, we won't have much time to escape the Star Forge before it's destroyed."

Carth placed his pistols back into their hostlers. He made his way to Shira and embraced her with both arms, "how did you know that would work?" he whispered in her ear

She smiled, "I didn't I just conned my way through all of that. Pretty good huh?"

Carth chuckled, "it was a dangerous game to play"

"I know but you know how I love to gamble"

Carth kissed her on the cheek, "I thought you were going to kill Bastila"

"I was, but when I disarmed her I had to remind myself that the Republic needed her"

Carth chuckled and let her go, "we better radio the others and get them back to the ship."

Shira nodded and pressed her com link, "We have Bastila safe and sound, report."

Juhani was the first to reply, "we have found and sent blueprints to the Republic"

Jolee was next to talk, "and we have sabotage the construction of the Sith ships, we are currently fighting with some surviving Jedi knights."

Shira smiled, "good, now everyone return to the Ebon Hawk. We will meet you there soon"

"roger" Juhani and Jolee said simultaneously.

Shira turned to the others, "Canderous. HK. Carth. I want you to stay here and watch over Bastila. I have no doubt that once Malak realize what has happened he will send more Sith to stop her."

Canderous and HK nodded but Carth shook his head, "what about you? You're not seriously going to battle Malak on your own?" he asked

"Carth" she said weakly, "facing Malak is my battle and mine alone. I need to face him alone. Please Carth you have to understand"

Carth sighed, "I know but…"

Shira placed her finger on Carth's lips, "I promise I will come back" she then kissed Carth, deeply and passionately. Her tongue explored his mouth. Carth savored every moment of it. He memorized her taste, the feel over her body and the touch of her warm lips. After several seconds Shira reluctantly broke the kiss and smiled, "I promise that won't be your last kiss with me"

Carth smiled weakly and hugged her, "please come back to me"

"I will"

"I love you"

She kissed him on the cheek, "I love you to"

Carth released her and watched her run to the elevator at the end of the room.

-()-()-

Carth stared at the elevator door. It had been ten minuets since Shira ran off but he couldn't stop staring. Carth felt cold and scared. He trusted her. He knew that she was strong enough to stop Malak but he was still scared. Soon Carth could feel someone standing behind him.

"Carth?" Bastila whispered

"what is it Bastila?"

"I wanted to say sorry for what I did before."

Carth didn't turn to look at her. Since the moment Bastila was taken by Malak there was a sense of emergency to save her. Carth never thought she would ever turn. Bastila was always impatient but she was at least strong enough to fight temptation of the darkside. When he first found out she did turned, he wasn't angry, he was in shock. All he could think was that they needed to save her. It was only when he saw her here on the Star Forge claiming she loved the darkside that his shock turned to anger. He wasn't to sure why. Maybe because she threatened Shira, who was always there for Bastila or maybe it was because she started to point the blame at everyone but herself. Whatever it was his anger was clear.

Carth did not reply to Bastila and she tried to fill the silence, "I am sorry Carth for what I said before as well"

Carth shook his head, "I can't believe you would betray Shira. After all she has done for you"

"Carth it wasn't my fault it was the darkside. It made me do things I would never want to do"

"your wrong" he hissed through gritted teeth, "it was your fault, the darkside had nothing to do with it. You did what you wanted. You made your own choices. You could at least be grown up about it and accept the blame"

Bastila placed her hand on Carth's shoulder, "I am sorry Carth"

Carth shrugged Bastila hand off, "just start your Battle Meditation and help the Republic fleet" Carth sighed, "Bastila"

"yes Carth?"

"Despite my anger towards what you did, I am happy we were able to save you"

Bastila walked away from Carth. He could hear the sound of the defense turrets being turn off and then he returned his focus to the doors in front of him.

-()-()-

Half an hour past and there was no sign of Shira returning. Carth heart sank at the thought that she could be injured or worse dead. He shook the thoughts out of his head we still have time the Republic hasn't damage the Star Forge just yet. Carth turned and watched as Bastila sat in front of the large hologram of the Star Forge. A blue glow surrounded her body as she concentrated on her Battle Mediation. Suddenly the Star Forge began to rumble.

"The Republic has finally started their assault on the Star Forge" Canderous shouted over to Carth

"Statement: by my calculation we have approximately ten minuets before it begins to crumble around us"

Just then Carth's com link flared up and he could just hear a voice through its static

"Malak!" the voice shouted, "Do you feel that? The Republic has begun their assault on the Star Forge. It is over." It was Shira.

The sound of lightsabers clashing flew through the com link

"Well at least I will be able to finally kill you, my old master"

Another sound of lightsabers clashing and the sound of Malak grunting as if he had been pushed to the floor

Shira voice rang through the com link, her voice was pained and she was panting heavily, "Carth. Canderous. HK. Run! Take Bastila and run. Get back to the…." Her voice was cut of by Malak shouting, followed by another slash of lightsabers. Shira screamed into the comlink again, "please just run! Get out of here!"

"I will kill you Revan!" Malak screamed

Then Shira com link fizzled out.

Carth stared wide eye at the doors in front of him. She was hurt, he could hear it in her voice. I have to save her!

The Star Forge rumbled violently, tossing Carth to the ground.

"Carth!" Bastila cried, "we need to leave now!"

"what about Shira?" he screamed back

"she will be fine. We need to leave"

Carth shook his head and stumbled to his feet, "no I am not leaving her here. I am going to save her"

"Carth…" Bastila shouted

"He is right" Canderous cried "we need to help her"

Carth smiled, "Canderous, HK take Bastila back to the Ebon Hawk"

"irritated statement: I will not allow you to save the master with out me"

"but…"

"Carth take the damn droid! I will take Bastila back to the Ebon Hawk" Canderous commanded

"I do not need an escort" Bastila protested

Canderous glared at Bastila, "yes you do. An hour ago you were a dark Jedi, there is no way in hell we are going to leave you alone"

Bastila frowned but said nothing.

Carth nodded to Canderous and then turned to the droid, "do you think you can locate Shira?"

HK was silent for a few seconds, "Statement: I have scanned the area and believe I have a fix on the master's comlink."

"good now lets go" he shouted as he ran to the elevator door

"Carth!" Canderous shouted, "Bring her back alive"

"I will" he smiled before the elevator doors shut in front of him.

-()-()-

Carth ran as fast as he could, following HK as he led the way to Shira. His heart rapidly pounded against his chest. As they ran Carth notice hundreds of destroyed droids. This didn't comfort him. The more he past the more he thought how tired Shira must have been when she faced Malak. It would of given him an advantage in their battle. It felt like they had been running for hours and Carth was relieved to find the elevator that would take them to Shira. While standing in the elevator Carth and HK prepared their guns. They had to prepare for the worse. They had to be prepared to see Malak standing over Shira's body.

Finally the doors opened and there in the middle of the room was Shira. Her back was turned to them and Malak lay dead at her feet. Carth ran to Shira, at the sound of his footsteps she turned her head to face him. Carth stopped dead in his tracks as he saw her pale white face. Shira smiled at Carth and then fully turned her body, to show him the fully extent of her injuries. Carth gasped when he saw a large gaping gash, stretching across her chest.

A tear trickled down Shira cheek as she whispered, "Carth" before she fell to the floor.

Carth ran to her scooping her up in his arms. Her body was limp and cold. The world froze at that moment. The faint echo of Carth's voice screaming for a medic ran through his mind. The image of his wife's dead body in his arms flashed through his mind. Carth could feel hot tears falling from his eyes.

Carth began to shake Shira. "Wake up" he begged "please Shira don't leave me". He pulled her body close to his chest, hugging her. He could feel her warm blood staining his shirt but he didn't care. All he wanted was her to wake up. "Shira!" he cried "Shira wake up". Shira lay motionless in his arms. Carth lent down and kiss her lips. They were cold. "You promised" he sobbed, "I… I... I love you… Shira please I love you" Carth then felt a metallic hand on his shoulder.

"Statement: The master is gravely injured. She will need koto to be placed on her wounds"

Carth didn't look up at HK. Instead he wiped a strand of Shira hair from her eyes.

"Statement: meatbag you must let go of the master."

"no" he whimpered

"Irritated statement: the longer you hold the master the sooner she will die."

Carth head jolted up to look at HK hope filled his heart, "you mean she is alive?"

"Statement: correct meatbag. We have little koto to fully heal her but the amount we have will stop the blood loss long enough for us to get her to medical facility" HK then pulled five vials of koto from a hidden compartment in his leg.

Carth let go of Shira just long enough for HK to pour the contents of the vials onto her wound. Carth gazed down at Shira he not see any difference but HK again confirmed that she was still alive. He then picked her up and ran to the elevator.

-()-()-

The Star Forge was quickly crumbling down around them and Carth was happy to finally see the Ebon Hawk. Once they were on the ship he laid Shira on the bed in the med bay. Everyone was shocked at her state but everyone knew there was no time for questions.

Jolee stared at Shira frowning, "we don't have any supplies to heal her wounds"

"Then heal her!"

"That process will take time she does not have. The best I can do is keep her stable"

Carth knew that would be the case, "then we take her to the Republic flag ship. They will help her"

The Ebon Hawk shook violently and Jolee turned to Carth, "you need to get us out of here"

Fear filled Carth heart and head and he couldn't think clearly all he knew was he couldn't leave Shira's side "no" he snapped "I will not leave her"

Jolee grunted and shook his head, "I understand Canderous take control of the ship. Get us to the Republic flag ship. Our pilot is current indisposed"

Carth felt the ship lift off. He knew he should be flying the ship. He knew it was his responsibly but his body wouldn't allow him to move.

Jolee sighed and placed his hands over Shira wound, "I might not be able to heal it completely but I will do my best to keep her alive"

Carth didn't look at the old Jedi, he just nodded his thanks as he gazed at Shira pale face.


	22. Chapter 22 A Waiting Game

Chapter 22 - A waiting game

"get the Kolto tank ready!"

"prepare for surgery"

"get her on the stretcher now we need to move"

Medic's frantically shouted at each other as they rushed Shira off the Ebon Hawk. Carth tried to follow but he was continually stopped by his team mates and other Republic soldiers. He fought through everyone who tried to stop him. His head was swimming with the events. His heart ached. Shira disappeared into the sea of medics and soon the others were able to stop him from following.

"i have to help her!" he screamed

"There is nothing you can do." Mission shouted

Canderous place his hand on Carth shoulder "She is right you have done all you can let the medics look after her"

Tears slipped from his eyes. He stopped fighting and fell to his knees. Mission knelt down next to him and wrapped her arms around him, "its going to be okay" she whispered "Shira is going to be okay" Carth wasnt ashamed and he openly sobbed in front of everyone.

-()-()-

Carth was numb. He had heard nothing about Shira and what was worse he was forced to attend meetings with the admirals. He would stare blankly at their faces as they commend him for everything he and the Ebon Hawk team had done. Carth had been shown to his own quarters. The room was large and elegant much more than a simple solider like him was used to. He tried many times to go to the medical ward to see her but he would be turned away everytime. He would stand out in front of the doors and waited. He would have waited and even slept in front of those doors but soon Mission came to see him. She even brought Zaalbar to carry him back to his room.

Carth wanted to protest but Mission just stated, "you need proper rest and sleeping out side the med center isn't going to help her"

So now Carth just sat in his large room staring out into space as the ship made its way to the Republic headquarters. The lack of activity made him feel uneasy. He wasn't used to sitting and doing nothing. He didn't like this new found aloneness. He missed the close quarters of the Ebon Hawk, there he would be able to talk to anyone, at the time he really didn't appreciate it but now he longed for it. Suddenly there was a knock on his door. Carth jumped out of his chair and race towards it. One of the medical staff was standing outside his door. The man was holding Shira things. Carth stomach dropped, he could not say a word.

"Carth Onasi sir?"

Carth nodded.

"I was told to bring you Jedi Shira things" the man handed Carth the bloody robes and lightsaber.

Carth took it without a word as his face drained of blood.

"Jedi Shira is currently in stasis in a Kolto tank"

New hope jumped back into him, "she's alive"

"barely sir however i do not have the full authority to reveal anymore about her condition. If you wait until morning and make your way to the medical center one of the head medic will debrief you"

Debrief me? She's more than a bloody mission. "thank you"

The man saluted and left.

Closing the doors, Carth turned and slumped down onto his bed. He stared at the bloody robes in his hands and then took the lightsaber. He examined the handle. It was worn down and badly damaged. He could see grip marks from Shira hands. He turned it on and the room was flooded in a red glow. However the beams were struggling to stay lit. He retracted the beams and opened the crystal compartment. The two crystals were cracked and when he touched them they shattered. He was amazed The fighting must have been fierce to cause these to crack. Carth reached in and took the largest fragment of the red crystal before placing the lightsaber away. He look back out into space, I might as well try and sleep he thought.

-()-()-

He wasn't surprised when sleep didn't take him. He was too restless the storm in his mind would not settle. He found that he was not comfortable staying in this large room and began to wonder around the ship. He did not know where he was going at first he would wonder over to the medical center but knowing he could not see Shira he turned and continue walking. Soon he found his random wondering leading him straight to the Ebon Hawk. He smiled at it, that ship had felt more like his home then anywhere since Telos. He made his way to its cock-pit and slid down into his chair. Here at least i feel some sort of peace he thought with a sigh. A deep chuckle cut through the silence of the ship. Carth looked up it was Canderous.

"I thought i'd fine you here" Canderous said.

Carth raised his brow "You were looking for me?"

"calm i thought after everything i owed to see how you are handling this"

Canderous caring? I must be sleep deprived. "I am handling it"

"well i see" he mocked

"I am not in the mood for this Canderous"

Canderous smiled and sat in the spare seat, "I know and i'm not here to start a fight" he paused "look Carth, Shira will be fine. Yes her wounds were bad but she is a fighter and she will fight this"

"I shouldn't have let her go alone"

"what difference do you really think you could have made?"

"I could have distracted Malak I..."

"you would have died"

Carth through his hands up in the air, "You don't know that"

Canderous chuckled, "I have had first hand experience with your fighting skills. So yes I do know that"

"It wouldn't have been a fist fight"

"I know and i appalled for willingness to fight to the death but think about it Carth he would have used you to weaken her. She may be a fine warrior but anyone can see she would die for you."

Carth sighed in defeat.

"you did the right thing and you honor her by your devotion but you need to stay strong for her" He laughed, "i hate to have to tell her that her big strong solider was crying like a baby while she was resting."

Carth smirked at Canderous, "No I'm sure you would hate that" he said sarcastically.

Canderous laughed, "well then enough mopping and join me in some target practice."

Carth smiled and followed Canderous off the ship.

-()-()

Carth did not hesitate for a moment the next morning. He sprinted his way to the medical center and search for the head medic. It didn't take him long to find him. The medic gave him a faint smile and led him to Shira. As they walked the medic talked, "Jedi Shira has sustained internal damage as well as third degree burns and i am sure i do not need to go into detail about the blood loss. Surgery was difficult to say in the least. There were many fractured bones that we had to fix and even replace. Most of the internal damage was fixable however we had trouble with her heart."

Carth cocked his head, "her heart?"

The medic nodded, "it seemed that when her ribs were broken a fragment of the bone punctured it. Normally its the lung that get punctured and in this case we would have preferred that. We were able to removed and seal the puncture but the damage was huge and all we can hope for is that her body will be strong enough to heal itself from here on in."

Soon they were in front of Shira Kolto tank. She looked so peaceful hovering there but the amount of machines that were hooked up to her was troubling. The medic saw the trouble look in Carth's face, "i assure you that those machines are only there to monitor her condition"

"how long will she be in there for?"

"We hope only a few more days"

Carth nodded, "thank you"

The medic smiled, "well i'll leave you be i will inform you of any changes from here on in" The medic left the room leaving Carth all alone with Shira.

He didn't notice before but they had given her a private room and her Kolto Tank faced a large window looking out into space. Carth sighed as he gazed at her body. There was now a large scar running down the length of her chest. He couldn't feel anything. Any and every emotion he had was used up in the past few days. He didn't know what else to do so he sat leaning against the window gazing up at Shira and began to talk to her.

-()-()-

In the coming days, medics were in and out of Shira room. As each day past they became more hopeful with her condition saying that in a day or two she should be fine. All the while Carth sat with her talking to her. The day before Shira was due to be released Carth pulled out a small ring from a hidden in his jacket. The silver ring had a space in the middle but it was missing the diamond. Carth pulled out the crystal fragment from Shira lightsaber and placed it on the ring. It fit perfectly and after securing it on he marveled at it. The red of the crystal seemed to glow in comparison to the dulled silver. He glanced up at Shira and smiled. All the hardships and troubles were over and now he truly had a chance to be happy. Carth then pocketed the ring and turned to gaze out the window. He gasped. Telos? he jumped up he couldn't believe he was home.

-()-()-

The medics had pulled Shira out of the Kolto tank. She was weak but fully healed however she hadn't quiet woken up yet. The medic assured Carth that this was normal but it didn't stop him from worrying. Earlier that day Carth had been summoned by the Admirals and the remaining Jedi council. The Admiral informed him that they had made accommodations for him and his crew and that they are to remain on the planet until the ceremony and celebrations over their victory was over. Carth didn't complain he was just happy to be home. The Jedi council then turned to him.

"she is free to live her own life. She has redeemed and proven herself enough that she will no longer need our council" was all they said.

Carth scoffed, "its not like you could stop her anyway"

The council said nothing and Carth took his leave.

-()-()-

The room they had given them was again much more than Carth expected. It was a size of a small house and had everything equipped in it to even be one. It was well furnished for something on Telos No doubt this is for high ranking officers when they stay to overlook the planets recovery he thought. Carth ordered the soldiers who carried Shira stretcher to place her on the bed. They did so gently before saluting him and leaving. Carth gazed at Shira beautiful sleeping body. He smiled and made his way to lie down next to her. The warmth of her body was comforting and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. He dreamily watched her chest rise and fall. For the first time in days he was relaxed and at peace and with her in his arms he was able to truly fall asleep. He looked forwards to waking with her awake and smiling next to him.


	23. Chapter 23 Goodbye

Chapter 23 - Goodbye

From the moment she awoke the days seemed like a dream. Everything was perfect. They were happy and laughing everyday. True to her word Shira bought everyone a drink at the local cantina and their celebrations continued. Only days before the big award ceremony the Republic had planned for them Dustil arrived on Telos. Carth couldn't have been more happier. He introduced Dustil to Shira and the rest of the Ebon Hawk crew and regaled him with the story of their adventure to find the Star Maps. Dustil was still standoffish it seemed he still had a lot of anger. Carth understood but was pleased to see him make some sort of effort. However what made him laugh the most was that Mission and Dustil seem to get along perfectly. A budding romance he thought with a smile. His thought soon confirmed when he saw Mission and Dustil enter her room. Mission saw Carth and gave him a cheeky wink and smile Well at least they can be happy.

The evening before the ceremony Shira laid peacefully next to him. Carth found that he couldn't sleep as he was playing with a ring. He was excited and nervous after the ceremony he planned on proposing to her. It had taken a lot of effort but he was able to get clearance to go on Telos surface. It was still damage and highly dangerous but he knew exactly where he wanted to propose to her. In front of the tree that overlooked the ocean where her Brother Bane if he was real suppose to be buried. At first he didn't know if the place was still there but he was in luck and now everything was planned and ready. Suddenly Shira began to violently toss and turn. She began muttering frantically in a language that he did not understand. Carth tried to sooth her but it did nothing. Her eyes flashed open and she screamed.

"Shira?" he asked frantically

She did not reply. She was panting heavily.

"Shira?"

She turned to face him. Sweat rolled off her forehead. Her eyes were hollow and blank.

Carth wrapped his arms around her and slowly rocked her. It was another one of Revan memories and he knew it was best not to ask.

-()-()-

For the entire ceremony Shira put on a smile but they could all see the trouble look in her eyes. At the end of it Carth notice Shira having a hushed conversion with Bastila, Jolee, and Juhani. He watched curiously and when Shira return to his side he tried to ask but was interrupted.

"sir?" asked a solider

"yes?"

"your shuttle is ready"

Carth smiled, "thank you"

The solider saluted and left.

"shuttle to what?" asked Shira

"you'll see" he said beaming at her.

Shira giggle and let him lead her away.

-()-()-

The scene was set and everything was perfect. Just as Carth had envision it. The sun was just setting so the sky was turning into a radiant orange. The sea was calm and green grass and trees showed no sign of the previous war. WIth Shira blind folded he lead her closer to the beach.

"are you ready?" he asked

Shira smiled, "very"

Carth removed her blind fold and she gasped. That single gasp was enough to make his heart soar. She gazed around the area. She seemed completely captivated by the scenery. Suddenly she stopped hers eyes fixated on a single tree. Carth turned to see what she was looking at, "what is it?' he asked

"Bane" she whispered.

"Bane?"

Shira wandered over towards to the tree. Carth followed her, there seemed to be an engraving on the tree. Her hand traced the engraving it read R.I.P Bane.

"he was real" she whispered.

Carth wrapped his arms around her, "it seems the council recovered one real aspect of your old life.

"but how?"

"I dont know but i promise you we will find out"

Shira smiled, "no what if they tell me something worse then what I think happened to him."

"you dont know"

"I prefer to keep the image of Bane that i have rather then..."

Carth softly squeezed her in his arms, "I understand"

Shira turned and gazed up at him, "now flyboy what was it that you brought me down here for?"

Carth smiled, "well" He pulled out the ring from his pocket and knelt down, "we have been through hell and back. You have saved me in more ways than one. I love you and I will always love you no matter what happen. I want to spend the rest of my life with you through thick and thin i will always be here. So my beautiful Shira will you marry me?"

Shira couldn't hold the smile back, "Carth"

Carth placed the ring on her finger, "I gather that would be a yes"

Shira laughed in sheer delight and Carth seized the moment and kissed her. As they kissed passionately Carth suddenly felt warm tear touching his cheek. He pulled back from the kiss to see Shira crying. "Are you alright?"

Shira nodded and smiled, "i am just so happy"

Carth laughed and whipped her tears away, "I love you"

-()-()-

The sound of hushed voices woke him. He glanced next to him Shira was gone. Carth slid out of the bed confused at Shira disappearance. He moved to the door of the bedroom where he could hear the voices more clearly. Carth made sure that he remained hidden as he listened.

"HK, T3 I need you to meet me on the Ebon Hawk. Gather any equipment and supplies you can find."

"Query: Shall we prepare the ship master"

"Yes but be sure you are not noticed. We do not need a search party looking for us until we are long gone"

"Query: will no other meatbag join us?"

"no i can not risk that"

"Pleased statement: very well master the ship will be ready for you"

HK and T3 left the room. Carth heard Shira sigh. He peered through the door crack. She was fully dressed in a black cloak. She clipped her lightsaber to her belt and made her way to the front door.

Carth jumped out of the shadows, "where are you going?"

Shira froze but didn't turn to look at him, "Away"

"Where?"

"I cant tell you"

"bullshit!"

"Carth" she said as she turned around

"Where are you going?"

"i am taking the Ebon Hawk and leaving"

"Why?"

"because i have to"

"Give me a real answer!" he cried

"I cant"

Carth began to close the distance between them, "What ever it is i can help"

Shira took a step back from him, "No Carth you need to stay here"

He kept moving closer, "i am your pilot. You need me to fly the Ebon Hawk"

Shira raised her hand to stop him from advancing any closer, "This is one mission Carth that you cant follow me"

Carth swiped her hand away, "Then what about us? Was everything that happen today a lie? Do you not want to marry me?"

"Carth if i don't go there will never be a chance for us"

"what the hell are you talking about?"

Shira was silent for a moment. She sighed it seemed he had won, "Carth I have to go because of Revan. When i was in that coma i relived so many of my memories as Revan."

Carth stretched out his arm and pulled her in a hug, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"i didn't want to think about them. But every night the memories returned and finally i accepted that i couldn't put this off any longer."

"put what off?"

"Malak and I awoke something dark and ancient in the outer rim. It's coming for us and only i can stop it."

Carth looked down at her, "I can help you"

"no i have to do this alone. I have told Bastila and the other Jedi to prepare and I need you to do the same thing"

"prepare for what?"

"I need you to rebuild the Republic's army. I need you to gather as many fleets as possible because if I fail they will come for all of you and the galaxy will need the full force of the Jedi and Republic army to protect it."

"Shira"

Shira moved away from Carth, "Please Carth i started this and I have to end it. Please don't fight me on this"

He could feel tears forming in his eyes and Shira moved to wipe them away. "Promise me..."

Shira kissed him. It was tender and he could feel all of her love for him in that single act. "I cant promise you anything. I cant promise that wont be our last kiss. I cant promise that i will be back and i cant tell you when i will return or where i am going. Just know Carth, that I love you and i will always love you." Shira lifted up her hand which had her ring on it. She went to take it off but Carth stopped her.

"keep it with you to remind you what is waiting at home for you"

Shira smiled

"I hate this. I don't want you to go. I cant let you go." Carth ran towards a com link, "I will alert the Republic! i will stop you from leaving!" He cried desperately.

Shira sighed and froze him, "i can't let you do that Carth"

"You cant go you cant!"

Shira Force pulled him into her arms and she held him, "I have to go, Carth. Please understand"

He could only nod

Shira let go of him

He fought through his tears, "I will be here waiting for you. I love you. Please be careful. Please come back to me"

Shira softly placed her hand on his cheek and kissed him one last time before disappearing into the night. Carth stared at the empty space where she stood, "May the force be with you" he whispered. He could feel his heart shatter and life drain from his body. He collapsed on the ground in a fit of tears.


	24. Chapter 24 Epilogue

Chapter 24 - Epilogue

Its been five years since Shira had disappeared. Carth had done everything she asked. The Republic was ready for any attack that may come. Even though the Jedi were still rebuilding they informed him that they had enough for any coming war. Carth ran into Canderous who was now Mandalore the leader of all the Mandalorian and even they were ready to help the Republic in honor of Shira. The Ebon Hawk had returned with a new crew but Shira wasn't among them. He questions them all especially the Jedi referred to as The Exile. She informed him of her story that she had found herself almost dead on the Ebon Hawk and that she did not know where it came from. There were no signs of the previous owner only the two droids that were left on board. The Exile happily released T3 and HK into his possession. HK was not pleased not that it didn't surprise him. Carth had hoped that they would have any information on where Shira went but it seemed that she had wiped their memories before abandoning the Ebon Hawk. After a full sweep of the ships systems he still could not find any clues. He returned the Ebon Hawk to The Exile and ordered her to search for Shira. She did as he commanded but he had no hope. All signs lead to the one truth She must be dead.

Carth sat in his office staring out at Telos. A bottle of Menkooro whiskey was clenched in his right hand. It was a gift from Shira he found it next to the bed after she had left. It had a note on it saying "Just thought you might need this. I am sorry" the note was her last attempt to be funny it did not work it just brought back memories of her. Carth decided to drink it on the same day every year to mark her leaving. It was a bitter drink to have but he needed something to dull the pain. Sitting on his desk was a small holopic of the two of them holding each other on the day be proposed to her. Next to it was a holopic of the old crew from the Ebon Hawk. He couldn't remember when they took it but it was a pleasant reminder of the good old days These were some of the few pictures he had of her. He cursed himself everyday for not taking more when he had the chance.

There was a knock on his door and Dustil entered the room. "hello father"

Dustil one of the few people that can make me smile in these dark times. He turned to face his son "hello son"

Dustil eyed the bottle, "Still drinking that I see"

Carth shrugged and put the bottle away, "what can i do for you? I am sure you are not here to talk about my drinking"

Dustil raised his hands in defense, "no, no I have just come to see how you are I know this is still a very dark day for you. I understand how you..."

"No you don't" he hissed

"I didn't mean any offense father I only meant that if Mission ever disappeared I wouldn't know what to do with myself"

Carth smiled to himself Ah yes my son married to Mission i always knew those two would take to each other like a moth to a flame, "And how is she?"

Dustil looked surprised at the question, "she is well, preparing for a trip to Kashyyyk as we speak. She is off to see Clan chief Zaalbar"

Carth smiled once again, "Well i am glad to hear it give Zaalbar my best"

"I will father but I..." Dustil paused walking closer to Carth's desk "I came to report something rather interesting to you. It would seem that a small unknown ship has entered Republic space"

Carth raised a brow, "any idea of origin?"

"reports suggest that it could be Sith but it is not like any we have seen before"

Shira words rang in his head 'if I fail they will come for all of you' . "It could be a scouting ship. Where did it come from?"

"We think the outer rim"

Carth stood up immediately "Get a ship ready and waiting for me. We move to intercept it"

"Father?"

Carth pulled his favorite jacket on and placed his two pistols in their holster, "That's an order"

Dustil saluted and ran out of the room.

-()-()-

The Sith ship was small and seemed badly damaged but it defiantly looked like a scouting ship. Carth didn't waste time and boarded the ship as soon as it was trapped in their tracker beam. Internally the ship was old, parts of it was falling apart. At first glance it seemed empty and there were no real sign of anyone living in it. Carth carefully made his way to the cock-pit. Ragged breathing caught his attention and he charged in. What he found was far from what he was expecting.

"hello flyboy... I was trying to be stealthy... it seems I still have a lot to learn"

"Shira?"

"in the flesh. Well at least i hope i cant really feel most of my body"

Carth stared down at her. Her clothes were ripped up and stained in blood. Her face badly bruised and cut up. "What happen? we need to get you a medic. Medic! Get a medic in here!"

Shira smiled and waved him off, "oh i'm fine nothing a Jedi cant fix. You by chance don't happen to have one near by do you?" she motioned to her cuts, "i would heal all this myself but I don't seem to have the strength at the moment"

"we need to get you help. Medic! where the fuck is that medic"

Shira giggled, "As i said i would prefer a Jedi I rather not be in another Kolto tank. Trust me in the past five years i have had more than enough of small enclosed spaces. Here..." She lifted up her arms "help me up would you"

Carth snatched her up in his arms. Mentally he was still in shock but his body reacted to her touch immediately. He couldn't control himself and capture her mouth in his. His tongue hungrily tasted her and wrestle with hers. He could taste blood but that did not stop him and soon he could taste her sweetness again.

Shira winced in pain and broke the kiss, "God i have missed you" she whispered, "but if you dont mind could i possible get some help"

Carth smiled and nodded he was still speechless that he was holding her in his arms after all these years.

-()-()-

Once they had return to his ship Shira wounds were all stitched up to stop any bleeding. She assured Carth and the medics that once she had rested and regained her energy she would be able to heal any internal injuries herself, "well since there is no other Jedi on this ship" she joked, "i will have to wait and do it myself. Carth led her to his quarters and as soon as they were alone he embraced her once more. It all seemed unreal to him. Like someone was playing a trick on him but the way she kissed him, the way she touched him, he knew she was the real deal.

Shira broke the embrace panting, "I longed for this moment but i need time to rest my injures are stopping me from any pleasure this would bring"

Carth smiled warmly at her and shook his head, "I cant believe you are here alive. Five year of nothing and now your back"

Shira lowered hers eyes, "i am sorry it took so long"

"I waited like i promised. I never faulted and i did everything you asked. The Republic is ready for anything, so are the Jedi and even the Mandalorians"

Shira gently cupped his cheek, "thank you Carth for your loyalty, your help and everything you have done. You don't know how many live in the future you have saved"

Carth placed his hand over hers, "i am just happy to have you back"

Shira smiled one of her sweet smiles that he fell in love with, "I love you"

"I love you to"

The two of them just stood there gazing at each other just enjoying being in each others presence. After several minuets Carth motioned for them to sit. Shira followed him to a large couch that faced a beautiful view of space. He then pulled out a bottle of Menkooro whiskey and Shira laughed with joy at it sight. It seems even the darkest reaches of space couldn't destroy her child like quality. He poured both of them a glass and joined Shira on the couch. As she sipped on her drink Carth spoke, "you realize once we return to Telos they will want to know what happen. When i say they i mean everyone."

"I know"

"what are you going to tell them?"

Shira bit the bottom of her lip, "The truth. Not every single detail but the basic of it all"

"would you mind telling me first?" he asked

Shira smiled weakly, "it's a long story but i will try to shorten it for." She took a deep breath, "Malak and I in our search for power found ourselves in the outer rim and there we awoke the true Sith. They were coming to wipe us all out and back when i was Revan i was a pawn to them. I was meant to weaken everyone so they could come in and destroy" Shira paused and gazed out at the stars. "When i regained my memory i knew i had to go back and stop them and if not that at least stall them"

"Where you able to stop them" Stupid question idiot.

Shira snorted at the questions, "what you think for five years i was relaxing on a beach somewhere. No, for five year i fought an army. I never stopped fighting. I was forced to sleep in small caves the outer rim is not a peaceful place." She returned her gaze to Carth, "I finally did it though" She smiled, "i wasn't able to stop them. There is just to many of them but i was able to freeze their plan. Put them back into that slumber Malak and I awoke them from" She ran her hand threw her hair, "It wont last but it wont effect us or many of the generations after us. I have given the galaxy time to become stronger then them so when the time comes, and it will come, we will have a chance."

"Lets just hope the galaxy doesn't start a war until then" I would hate to see all her work crumble like that.

Shira chuckled at the comment, "yes lets hope" There was silence between then for a few seconds before a cheeky smile formed on her lips, "It seems you sent a Jedi after me"

What Jedi? Then it clicked, "oh The Exile?"

"yes the Exile I remember her from the Mandalorian wars. She's a good solider she found my ship before you."

"we found her with the Ebon Hawk and your two droids"

Shira giggled, "i cant imagine HK being very happy with me for doing that to him"

You can never please that droid, "No but i think he enjoyed his time with The Exile. How did she get the Ebon Hawk?"

Shira shook her head and shrugged, "i don't know before i reached the outer rim I gave T3 orders to return to you. HK was in an uproar that i planned on leaving him behind. I had to shut him down and block his memory with any information about me. On its way back to you T3 must have picked her up or something."

"so where is The Exile now?"

"off with her flyboy to Nar Shaddaa. It seems we Jedi have a soft spot for pilots"

Carth laughed and Shira joined him. The two of them moved closer together and held each other. The universe has given me a gift and i will not neglect it, He thought as he gently stroked her hair. A small red object on her hand caught his attention, my ring. He lifted her hand, "my ring you still have it after all this time"

"of course nothing and no one would be able to take it away from me"

Carth kissed her hand and squeezed her lovingly, "so are you ready to pick our life up where we left off."

Shira giggled "Just try and stop me"

Carth chuckled simply perfect

"so?" she asked "its a bit of a trip back to Telos. Tell me everything that has happen in the past five years"

Carth gazed out into space and began to tell her every event that had happen from the moment she had gone. He could feel his heart swell with joy at her touch and her the sound of her voice. Their future was uncertain but for now he was happy with the peace he felt with her and he thought cheekily It has been five years without her touch and i intend to make up for lost time. He gazed down at her she had fallen asleep in his arms. He lifted her up and rested her on the bed. He gazed at her perfect body he looked past the scars and bruises for to him she was just as beautiful as the first day they met. I am truly blessed to have her back and i will kill anyone who tries to take her away from me again. He pulled her close to him and allowed sleep to take him. His lasts thoughts being of the future that they would make together.

Finn


End file.
